Like any good friends Fran and I disagree from time to time. We crash heads and get grumpy with each other, but we neither run from nor ignore our issues. We are not afraid of them. We each acknowledge the other’s point of view with respect. And then Fran gets her way! //joke//
More generally, we recognise that disagreement needn’t always be hurtful, nor is hurting something necessarily to be avoided. I find it unhelpful when people hold back from sharing with me for fear of hurting me, or do the big “sorry, sorry” thing if I share that I am feeling hurt or disturbed by what has arisen between us. Such responses invalidate my need to feel what is happening, and close down the space within which both of us might explore and grow.
As Fran messaged me earlier today, “disagreement can provide opportunity for growth and the stretching, openness and deepening of a relationship.”
It is a beautiful thing... the finding of grace in the midst of chaos.