Wednesday, 17 October 2018

To Pieces

By Kati Rocky

I have been writing children’s and teen television for over two decades, and while I enjoy my work I was longing to dive into something meaty and serious. I have bipolar disorder, though I didn’t as a teen, and decided I wanted to write a story on the subject. Since I’m familiar with the young adult audience and how to connect with them and entertain them, I chose them as my demographic.

Before I wrote my novel, To Pieces, I studied the fiction that was out there that dealt with the subject matter so that I wasn’t redundant. I found precious little. There are a few books that have bipolar protagonists, but none of them rang true for me. Writers got the depression right, but the mania was all wrong. This prevailing inauthenticity only furthered my conviction to write the book. I wanted to create a work that got the condition right.

The story flowed from me fairly quickly but getting the book published was a lengthy and arduous process. Editors really didn’t seem to get it. Many found Jane, my main character, “wacky,” “unbelievable,” and “unrealistic.” I even had an editor suggest I write the book not in the first person of a person suffering from bipolar disorder but through the eyes of a friend or family member of the main character’s watching her suffer through a bipolar cycle.

I strongly disagreed with this notion. In Venice, where I live, you walk through the neighborhood and are greeted by a number of people in the grips of psychosis. Does this help you understand the disorder? No. I think it actually alienates people further. Manic people can be aggressive and even scary. It’s almost impossible to understand psychosis or deep depression unless you’ve had it – or been inside the head of somebody who has it, like the character in To Pieces.

Another disappointing comment I got from several editors was that they didn’t like the humor in the book. They were under the impression that bipolar disorder is one relentless bummer. This is, in fact, untrue. While mania can be devastating financially, and people often engage in risky and dangerous behavior and damage their personal relationships, mania can be very pleasurable and fun – and even funny.

Some of the wacky things manic people do are downright comical, though I am in no way trying to present mania as something positive or constructive! It is something to be avoided at all costs. Take it from one who knows the humiliation that follows mania and how exhausting it is to mop up the messes you made while you were out of your mind. Then there’s the acute uneasiness that accompanies being unable to remember chunks of your time being manic. Just what horrifying things did I do during that week that I have no memory of?

I’ve been very pleasantly surprised by how well To Pieces is doing and how many people are connecting with my main character: people with and without bipolar disorder. There is even movie interest in the book. I knew that the editors were wrong and I’m glad I stuck to my instincts and didn’t give up on the story or alter it in ways that compromised its integrity.

It is my hope that the book shines some light into a dark corner, giving people insight into bipolar disorder and empathy for the people suffering from it. I also hope that it can provide solace for teens with the illness and let them know that, with the right treatment, they can not only manage to carve out a life as a bipolar person, but they can thrive.

About the Author

I grew up in San Francisco and Marin County and attended UCLA, where I majored in creative writing. I went on to USC where I got a masters degree in professional writing. I started working in children’s and teen television as a writer, falling into the business somewhat accidentally, and have been writing TV for over two decades.

I live in Venice, CA with my husband and teenage son.

You can find me on Twitter (@KatiRocky).

My novel To Pieces is available on Amazon (print and Kindle), Barnes & Noble, and other good booksellers.

 

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