Gum on My Shoe

TW: Mention of suicide and suicidal thinking.

Mental health campaigns stress the importance of talking about how we’re feeling, especially if we’re struggling or mentally unwell. Whether it’s a trusted friend or family member, medical professional, counsellor, therapist, or crisis line, the message is clear: talk to someone. Fran and I believe in the value of genuine, honest, and open communication. It’s the foundation of our friendship and the central message of our book, our blog, and everything we do in the mental health arena. But it’s not always easy, or even appropriate, to be completely open with everyone all the time. All of us fib about how we are sometimes . Even me and Fran, even with each other. In this post I want to look at why our friends and loved ones aren’t always completely open with us about their mental health. Understanding why this happens can help us to be more compassionate towards those we care about, and ourselves. As well as my own experiences, I’ll draw on contributions submitted in res...

By Fran Houston I have found when I not only allow but gently accept my feelings — especially the difficult ones — I get to integrate all parts of myself. My illnesses get to be here too. Pushing them into silence only hurts. And when I share these inner experiences I find kindred spirits who long for that same honesty, freedom, and wholeness. Hiding behind closed doors in our hearts and allowing others to hold the key is the essence of stigma, throwing us into invisible institutions that are more dangerous than the physical ones that existed not so long ago. Let’s replace silence and stigma with openness, awareness, and kindness.   Originally posted on Facebook Aug 23, 2016. Photo by Ales Maze at Unsplash.  

What we don’t need in the midst of struggle is shame for being human. — Brené Brown Trigger warning: suicide and suicidality. This is posted as an awareness piece for World Suicide Prevention Day (September 10). Suicide is not a sign of weakness. Inspiration and Ego This article was inspired by a friend who questioned something I’d written in an open letter to my father. Here’s what she said: I did want to briefly comment on something you wrote in your blog post about open letters , in particular the one to your father where you wrote “You never let me see it’s okay to cry and be weak sometimes.” I question why you put “cry” and “weak” in the same sentence, and it makes me wonder what “weak” means to you, especially since you champion the “fighting stigma” cause. It isn’t “weak” to cry, or to have feelings or emotions — in fact, it’s the opposite. I think that’s important to note, especially when the suicide rates among men are so high — you may want to address that...

So again, it’s time to examine your “shoulds.” “Shoulds” are so often the assimilated wants of other people and of your culture. — Philippa Perry, The Guardian , October 17, 2021 This article was inspired by a short exchange on social media. I said I’d completed one blog post and was pondering what to write next. A friend replied: “Write about pondering what to write!” It brought a smile, reminding me of the time I was struggling to write, and ended up writing about exactly that . I smiled too, because I’d had to consciously avoid saying “I’m pondering what I should write about next.” That word — should — slips so readily into our sentences, even when we know we should avoid it. Ooops. See what I mean? Perhaps you’re wondering what all the fuss is about. What’s wrong with should ? It’s a word. It is, indeed. It can be used in a variety of ways but they tend to fall into one of two categories. Implying a sense of duty or imperative. (I should have phoned my mother ye...

Do you believe we should live in a society where everyone has access to proper mental health support? So do we. (Mind) Organised by the World Foundation for Mental Health and observed each year on October 10, World Mental Health Day (WMHD) is an opportunity to raise awareness of mental health issues and to mobilize efforts in support of mental health. This year’s theme is Mental Health in an Unequal World . This theme was chosen [...] because the world is increasingly polarized, with the very wealthy becoming wealthier, and the number of people living in poverty still far too high. 2020 highlighted inequalities due to race and ethnicity, sexual orientation and gender identity, and the lack of respect for human rights in many countries, including for people living with mental health conditions. Such inequalities have an impact on people’s mental health. Here in the UK, mental health charity Mind’s Do One Thing campaign for WMHD invites us to add our voice to those championing...

Monday was the start of Mental Health Awareness Week here in the UK. Dressing for my day working from home I picked through my collection of mental health t-shirts. Andy “Electroboy” Behrman’s KEEP TALKING ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH tee. Gabe Howard’s iconic :): shirt. One each from Bipolar UK, NAMI, No Stigmas, and Stigma Fighters. I chose the No Stigmas one for the start of the week. I made myself a cup of coffee and turned on my work laptop. My new post for Mental Health Awareness Week would be going up on the work intranet. I’d have emails and calls through the week with the mental health and wellness team. Content and activities to plan. But what was I doing, really? Making a difference? Countering stigma? I suddenly felt deflated. Adrift. A fraud. For a moment I was back thirty-five years or so at a CND rally in Hyde Park in London, taking in the sunshine and the music, eyeing up the women in their rainbow coloured tops and faded blue jeans, affronted by the guy on stage declaring...

By Hailey Parks Millions of Americans battle mental illness each and every day. Even the people who don’t suffer directly can be affected indirectly by a loved one’s mental illness. However, due to the stigma that often surrounds mental health many people are reluctant to seek the help they desperately need. Despite the wide reach of mental illness, misunderstanding about mental health is widespread as well. When we break a bone we go to the hospital. When we have a fever or any other physical illness we go to the doctor. Seeking this type of help is not looked down upon. Seeking support for one’s mental health, on the other hand, is often met with stigmatizing language and thinking. Individuals who fail to seek professional help can suffer immensely. Symptoms can get worse, problems can arise within families, friends, and co-workers, and mental illness can negatively impact one’s overall quality of life. Instead of staying quiet about these issues, it is critical to speak up a...

By Cassidy Webb In recovery I see a lot of people go in and out. Unfortunately, not everyone makes it back. I’ve lost a lot of friends to addiction and I’ve watched even more of them struggle with their mental health. I’ve watched mental illness take over the minds of good people to the point where it drives them back to the needle or the bar. When it’s somebody close to me, I just want to shake them. I want to shake the misery, the despair, and the fear right out of them. I want them to get well. I want them to get the help that they deserve. However, I can’t do that. I’m not that powerful. Growing up I was told to sit quietly and look pretty. Sharing my emotions was frowned upon, and when I did, I felt judged. I felt like the outcast whom nobody understood. I became a master at shoving my emotions down until they became too much to bear. I would then break down in major depressive episodes. As a teenager, I found solace in drugs and alcohol. I didn’t have to feel anything except...

Press Release A new mental health portal www.themindmap.co.uk launched 3 July 2019. This innovative new platform focuses on providing young people, predominantly aged between 16 – 30 access to subsidised counselling, the ability to find and book free mental health services and resources as well as access to a magazine that shares articles and interviews with well-known musicians and sports athletes regarding mental health, all in one place. Launched by Liverpool-based mental health organisation The Mind Map, the platform is the result of a three-year research project carried out between The Mind Map and leading organisations with Mental Health at the centre of their agenda with contributions from Liverpool John Moores University, Imperial College London and the NHS amongst others. Founder Phil Bridges, a Youth Mental Health First Aid instructor and Adolescent Mental Health university lecturer said: We all have mental health — good or bad. But our research uncovered what we su...

By Sophie Hopkins and Eliza Colin Hodges Wednesday June 5, 2019, 9:45 – 4:30, Shakespeare Hall, North Road, Durham, England. Hidden Histories: Mining in the North East began with two young women in their twenties, as part of the Jack Drum Arts Active Citizens program. Sophie and Eliza met in February 2019 on a residential that covered leadership skills. Modules covered local and global identity and culture. At the end of the week they were asked to identify a problem in their local area. Sophie identified the stigma that exists between the older and younger generations and the lack of connection they have with each other, despite the fact that recent research shows there are many similarities between the generations. Eliza identified the lack of local knowledge around mining and how students at Durham University were largely unaware of the region’s heritage. She also identified the lack of communication between locals and students. With a lot of hard work, these ideas deve...

By Charlotte Underwood This is my body. What I see: Scars Fat Imperfections What I feel: Fear Vulnerability Disgust What I know: A body that’s kept me alive for 23 years A body winning against binge eating A body that is mine and no one else’s A strong ass woman The thing with body positivity and body image is that it’s hard work. Most people can’t stare at a mirror and force themselves to love what they see. Many people have a love/hate relationship with their body. But over time, we can learn to be proud of our bodies and our skin. When I was a teenager, I literally stopped eating properly and I worked out a lot because I felt like I was being judged for my weight. I felt I wouldn’t be loved as a larger girl. And you know what? I wish I never had to feel like that. I am learning to look after my body and my mind for myself. I do not let anyone tell me that I should lose a few pounds or sort out my appearance, because it’s not their right. Your bod...

By Jen Evans When I think about body image, the first thing that occurs to me is that women seem to have to deal with this more than men. But I’ve never chatted with a man about this subject so I don’t know how valid that is. On a daily basis, men and women are confronted with ideas and images about what they ought to look like on magazine covers and in the world of celebrity. In my thinking, all of these images are airbrushed and not realistic. From the Middle Ages to the Renaissance, a larger woman was considered normal and of noble status because she could afford to feed herself. If we take a look at the Mona Lisa we can see that she’s no Twiggy. She’s full-bodied and buxom. That was what people considered attractive at that time. Somewhere along the catwalk, I feel we went horribly wrong. Even in the Fifties here in America, women like Marilyn Monroe were more like an hourglass than a Barbie Doll. Maybe it’s because of ladies like Twiggy that the unrealistic body image man...

By Martin Baker and Aimee Wilson My good friend and fellow mental health blogger Aimee Wilson recently enrolled on an online course at Future Learn, titled Understanding Suicide and Suicide Prevention Strategies in a Global Context . It took me about thirty seconds to decide to join her! This is from the course description: On this course, you will gain a broader understanding of suicide as a worldwide issue. You will analyse global suicide rates and patterns and explore common risk factors. You will explore the social and cultural factors that can influence suicidal behaviour. You will also look at suicide prevention strategies and learn how these can be enforced in communities. Having a study buddy is great because — as Fran and I have found many times — you have someone to share ideas and perspectives with, and to talk through any issues that come up. This is especially valuable with something as complex and important as suicidality. As with other Future Learn courses ...