Gum on My Shoe

You’ll never walk alone. — Liverpool Football Club motto This post was originally published for International Men’s Day 2025 at I’m NOT Disordered . I’m grateful to Aimee [Wilson] for the opportunity to write this guest piece for International Men’s Day (IMD). For those who don’t know, IMD is marked every year on November 19. The purpose is to acknowledge the positive value men bring to the world, their families and communities, and raise awareness of men’s health, mental health, and well-being. The theme for 2025 is “Celebrating Men and Boys.” With my best friend Fran Houston I blog at Gum on My Shoe on mental health and supportive friendships. I’ve written for IMD in the past but I was unsure how to approach this year’s theme until Aimee suggested I think back to when I was a boy. What did I imagine my life would be like when I grew up? What did I want to be? It was a great idea and you can read the piece it inspired on my blog here . Writing it was both interesting and c...

I became a man. Before that I was a little boy. — Adam Ant (Stuart Leslie Goddard) Observed each year on November 19, International Men’s Day (IMD) celebrates the positive value men bring to the world, their families and communities, and raises awareness of men’s health and well-being. The theme for 2025 is “Celebrating Men and Boys.” I was unsure how to approach the topic until my friend and fellow blogger Aimee Wilson suggested I think back to when I was a boy. What did I imagine my life would be like when I grew up? What did I want to be? For the purpose of this blog post I’ll define “when I was a boy” as the period of my life up to and including 1979. I turned eighteen that March but I was far less mature than my age might suggest. I knew little of the world beyond my immediate family, school, and the local environment of West Derby on the outskirts of Liverpool. It was a pivotal year for me. My father died in April. I took my A-level exams in June, passed them all, and l...

We are all perfectly imperfect. — Fran Houston Observed each year on November 19, International Men’s Day (IMD) celebrates the positive value men bring to the world, their families and communities, and raises awareness of men’s health and well-being. The theme for 2024 is “Positive Male Role Models.” As I explained in a 2022 article on gender identity , I’ve never been big on heroes or role models. I nevertheless explored my relationship with some of the most influential men in my life. These included my father, uncles, one of my male cousins, as well as two characters from fiction: Sam Gamgee (JRR Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings ) and Jimmy Perez from the TV detective series Shetland . I’ve also written about four men who inspire me in different ways: my son Michael Baker, Johnny Benjamin MBE, and friends Quinn Brown and Peter McDonnell. I covered less savoury aspects of what it means to be a man in last year’s IMD post: Big Boys Cry Too: Challenging Toxic Masculinity for In...

Be quiet, big boys don’t cry. — Eric Stewart / Graham Gouldman. “I’m Not in Love.” Observed each year on November 19, International Men’s Day (IMD) celebrates the positive value men bring to the world, their families and communities. It highlights positive role models and raises awareness of men’s well-being, including mental health. It’s also an opportunity to face up to some of the less wholesome aspects of men’s lives and behaviour. For IMD 2022 I explored what being a man means to me . This year, I’m taking a look at toxic masculinity, which affects not only men but also our families, relationships, and wider society. What Is Toxic Masculinity? Let’s start with what toxic masculinity isn’t. It’s not an attack on men, men-shaming, blaming men for all the ills in the world, or denying the rich and varied contributions men make in all walks of life. It doesn’t claim that being male or masculine is toxic or unhealthy. Rather, it highlights some attitudes and behaviours co...

My pronouns are he/him/his . Observed each year on November 19, International Men’s Day (IMD) celebrates the positive value men bring to the world, their families and communities, highlighting positive role models and raising awareness of men’s well-being, including mental health. I shared some general thoughts on connection and conversation for IMD last year. This time, I thought I’d go a little deeper, and explore what being a man means to me. That should be pretty easy, right? I’ve had sixty-one years to figure out what being a guy is all about. Oddly enough, it’s proven a lot harder than I imagined. It’s not that I’ve ever felt misgendered, or unhappy at being thought of as male. I’ve worn my gender identity all my life, albeit without thinking much about it. I was a boy. I am a man. But what does that mean ? Let’s start with International Men’s Day itself. Do I feel it’s for and about me? Does it resonate? It does, yes. Last year was the first time I’d engaged with IMD, bu...

Trigger warning: some of the linked articles contain references to suicide and suicidal thinking. In the second in our series of themed posts I’ve selected articles that mark various mental health awareness days and events. Scroll through or click the link to jump to the relevant section. Time to Talk Day (February) World Bipolar Day (March 30) Mental Health Awareness Week (May) Mental Health Awareness Month (May) World Suicide Prevention Day (September 10) World Mental Health Day (October 10) International Men’s Day (November 19) Other Dates and Events I’ve provided a short excerpt from each post, with a link to the original article. I will update the list as relevant posts are published in the future. For a list of other awareness days and events check out the calendar at Mental Health UK . Time to Talk Day Time to Talk Day is an awareness event observed each year in early February. It was launched in 2014 by Time to Change, a campaign run in England to ...