Gum on My Shoe

World Bipolar Day is celebrated each year on March 30, the birthday of painter Vincent Van Gogh who is thought to have lived with a bipolar condition. To mark the occasion our books will be available to download free from March 29 through April 2. Details will be posted here on our blog on March 28. Check back, follow our social media, or subscribe to our blog so you don’t miss out. The theme for World Bipolar Day 2026 is Bipolar Strong. I want to take the opportunity to explore what those words means to me as a friend and ally. I have no first-hand experience of living with a mental health condition. Everything I know about mental illness in general and bipolar disorder in particular is second-hand. It’s based on books I’ve read and courses I’ve taken, including Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) and Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST). Most of all it’s based on what I’ve learned from friends who know only too well what it means to live with illness. I would never ...

This post was inspired by a recent conversation with Fran. We were talking about some of the things she’s done lately. These include joining Finding Female Friends >50 , a nonprofit organisation dedicated to fostering friendship connections for women. (“Welcome! Your new BFF’s [sic] are waiting to greet you.”) Fran’s already attended a number of their online sessions. Some she found valuable, others less so. She mentioned two in particular, one of which she’d loved and one that hadn’t resonated for her. “That’s cool, though,” I said. “You gave yourself the opportunity to hate them!” I love that she’s open to trying things out to see what works for her and what doesn’t. It can be uncomfortable discovering you don’t quite fit in with a particular situation or group. Fran nevertheless recognises it’s not a failure if she decides not to continue with something. I’m not good at this myself. I tend to only try things I’m likely to enjoy or find valuable. That more or less rules out ...

One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood. (Seneca) Someone once told me we have no right to expect others to understand us. She was adamant about that. Angry, almost, that anyone could imagine otherwise. The most we can expect, she said, was to be heard. I was reminded of this recently when a close friend said it felt like I didn't know her at all. I got to thinking about what it means to know someone or be known by them. To Know or to Understand? What exactly do we mean by knowing or understanding one another? Is there a difference between knowing someone and understanding them? Ephrat Livni drew a distinction in his article It’s better to understand something than to know it : “Knowing” and “understanding” are related concepts, but they’re not the same. Each is a distinct mental state involving cognitive grasp: Knowing is static, referring to discrete facts, while understanding is active, describing the ability to analyz...

Photo: Vikki Beat In the latest of our Bloggers’ Days Out, fellow mental health blogger Aimee Wilson and I attended Stranger on the Bridge and Other Stories of Friendship and Support at George Street Social in Newcastle. George Street Social is an alcohol-free bar and café run by the Road to Recovery Trust which offers hope and support to people in recovery from addiction problems. We were among the first to arrive and were greeted warmly by Lucy Nichol who I first met last year at the launch of her book A Series of Unfortunate Stereotypes . Lucy is a trustee and marketing and communications lead for the Road to Recovery Trust, and chaired the event. Photo: Martin Baker The first to speak was Paula Cowie who is also a Road to Recovery trustee. Paula shared her lived experience and how important the Trust and George Street Social are to the local community. Matthew Smith from the If U Care Share Foundation went next. He spoke with great honesty and openness about his old...

I’m going to talk about a few things said to me over the years by people who have what I do not: lived experience of mental illness. They’ve been hard to hear but I’m grateful because I’ve learned something valuable each time. “You don’t understand” They say we all have mental health but as Fran and I describe in our book High Tide, Low Tide: The Caring Friend’s Guide to Bipolar Disorder there’s a fundamental difference in experience between someone like Fran who lives with mental illness and someone like me who never has. Well or ill, we are all people. Nevertheless, it is naive, disrespectful, and dangerous to downplay the impact illness has on those affected by it. Those who are ill […] have particular life experiences, perceptions, expectations, and needs. To use Fran’s terminology, she is the ill one in our relationship; I am the well one. Nothing more or less is implied by our use of these terms. High Tide, Low Tide , Introduction So when someone tells me I don’t un...

Anonymous I’ve always told myself that I would never submit anything anonymously. I guess the vain part of me wanted the glory. It wasn’t until I considered telling this part of my story that I felt I couldn’t truly be me. That’s not to say that I’m ashamed of what I’ve been through. I’m trying hard to work past that feeling, and this is step one. I didn’t think I would ever be sitting here sharing so much of myself with the outside world. I kept my mouth shut to protect other people, mostly my parents. I wouldn’t have been able to tell them. It would have caused more grief than I could ever stand to put them through. My mom and dad are gone now, and it’s time to stop worrying that I will disappoint them. The other people involved are still alive, and I don’t care about protecting them. I’m doing this anonymously now to protect myself. Something I wish I could have done before now. It’s all still incredibly painful, even all these years later. The nightmares and the PTSD are ...

By Charlotte Underwood This is my body. What I see: Scars Fat Imperfections What I feel: Fear Vulnerability Disgust What I know: A body that’s kept me alive for 23 years A body winning against binge eating A body that is mine and no one else’s A strong ass woman The thing with body positivity and body image is that it’s hard work. Most people can’t stare at a mirror and force themselves to love what they see. Many people have a love/hate relationship with their body. But over time, we can learn to be proud of our bodies and our skin. When I was a teenager, I literally stopped eating properly and I worked out a lot because I felt like I was being judged for my weight. I felt I wouldn’t be loved as a larger girl. And you know what? I wish I never had to feel like that. I am learning to look after my body and my mind for myself. I do not let anyone tell me that I should lose a few pounds or sort out my appearance, because it’s not their right. Your bod...

By Martin Baker and Aimee Wilson My good friend and fellow mental health blogger Aimee Wilson recently enrolled on an online course at Future Learn, titled Understanding Suicide and Suicide Prevention Strategies in a Global Context . It took me about thirty seconds to decide to join her! This is from the course description: On this course, you will gain a broader understanding of suicide as a worldwide issue. You will analyse global suicide rates and patterns and explore common risk factors. You will explore the social and cultural factors that can influence suicidal behaviour. You will also look at suicide prevention strategies and learn how these can be enforced in communities. Having a study buddy is great because — as Fran and I have found many times — you have someone to share ideas and perspectives with, and to talk through any issues that come up. This is especially valuable with something as complex and important as suicidality. As with other Future Learn courses ...

By Aimee Wilson   When she fought, he won When she stole, he caught her When she looked, he hid When she bent, he broke her When she hurt, he caused it When she ran, he gave chase When she saw, he missed it When she heard, he ignored   But when she died, they revived her When she cut, they mended When she swallowed, they treat When she cried, they soothed When she ran, they caught When she lost hope, they showed her the way   She won back what he’d taken She mended what he had broke She stabilized what he had moved She finished what he had started She lived     About the Author Aimee Wilson is a 28-year-old mental health blogger who has used her personal experiences to develop a popular online profile. Aimee was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder in 2009, and after over 60 attempts on her life was admitted to a long-term, specialist psychiatric hospital almost 200 miles from home. It was during her two-and-a-half-year stay in ho...

I am grateful to Vikki Beat for our recent conversation at Caffe Nero which led to me writing this up. It’s no secret that Fran and I spend a lot of time talking together but it took a while for me to recognise that not all conversations are the same. Different people have different ways of talking, of course, but aside from that there are distinct types of conversation depending on what the people involved need at the time. Here are three distinct types we have found useful. I’d love to know if they resonate for you – or if they don’t! Let’s talk! “My Turn, Your Turn.” This is the type of conversation that comes most naturally to me, whether face-to-face (in person or on a video call), on the telephone, or in online chat. It consists of short alternating exchanges, one person speaking for a moment or two then letting the other take a turn. It works well (at least for me) where you are “shooting the breeze”, making plans, or sharing things on a fairly surface-y level. What I had ...

I was first diagnosed with a Mental Illness when I was twelve years old. I am now thirty-five. So I have grown up with Mental Illness and all that it entails. I have had many experiences through the years with both my own Mental Illness and other people’s and there are a few things I have learnt along the way. Some of these I will share here. One of the most important things I have learnt in my life is that communication – real, open, honest communication – is the key. By which I mean, without communication you cannot have a relationship of any kind with another person. I took a long time to learn this lesson and I learnt it the hard way. I have spent most of my life not talking about what was going on inside my own mind. Not talking about my likes and dislikes, why I acted certain ways at certain times and, ultimately, what I needed to feel safe and loved. It has led to the destruction of more than one relationship, including my relationship with my parents. My Mum does not believ...

One day maybe, people will look at you like you’re strange (fuck that people will always be this way). Take it as a compliment! It means you have the courage to be different, i.e; real. It means sometimes you have to walk out of your apartment on a snowy day when the clouds cover any hint of the sun, and you have to wear your shades. People will look at you strange (fuck that people always think that way). Better to wear the shades, because sometimes it’s the only thing which can hide your pain, because some people are just that fucking brave. Not brave in that they hide their pain, but brave in that they face it. They actually have the courage to walk out of their apartment on a snowy day with a heartbreak. Fill in the blank and use your imagination. This heartbreak can be anything, anything that brings us to our knees... disease, a loved one’s death, a loss of any sort, depression, etc. People do not realize how brave they truly are, to be able to go out there in the world and do ...