Gum on My Shoe

This is how change happens. One gesture. One person. One moment at a time. — Libba Bray I love to share content I find interesting and relevant. In a recent post about coffee shop conversations I mentioned two friends whose craft and creativity deserve a wider audience. I’ve previously shared ten content creators who make me happy . This time I’m sharing ten artists and creators who inspire, motivate, and challenge me in different ways. Their areas of interest and engagement vary widely. Topics include physical and mental health, suicide awareness, women’s autonomy, gender identity, trans rights, animal welfare, and body positivism. More than anything they explore and express what it means to be human. What it means to be unique. What it means to be alive. In no particular order they are: Marisa Ramirez Fraser Morgan Riona O Connor Mali and Joe Emily Kimelman Mark Hogben Man Who Has It All Rocky Kanaka Closer To Truth Andrea Gibson Marisa Ramirez (Kimmel) ...

Dear friends. This letter is written to the readers of this blog, especially those of you with lived experience other than my own. Chronic mental or physical health conditions. Disability. Trauma. Abuse. Rape. Self-harm. Suicidality. Debilitating fatigue, pain, or insomnia. These are things I’ve never known and cannot pretend to speak to or understand. Such awareness as I have is second-hand, shared by those willing to open their lives and selves to me. Friends. Family. Colleagues. Strangers. I will always be grateful for the trust implied by such deep sharing. We write best about what we know personally. With respect to this blog, that’s my experience as a supportive friend to Fran and others. Fran and I wrote our book High Tide Low Tide: The Caring Friend’s Guide to Bipolar Disorder on exactly that premise. It’s a perspective that’s valuable and arguably under-represented. Last year I was invited to write about being there for a friend who has survived rape and abuse . It tu...

Today — Saturday, May 19, 2018 — is the day of the Royal Wedding. I wish Harry and Meghan well in their life together but I brought myself out to the coast to avoid the media, and social media, onslaught. It’s just not something I feel a part of. Here at Tynemouth there is calm and space and air and sky and sea. And a bench where I can sit and write. A week ago I was also writing. Not here but in the café at the city library. At the suggestion of my boss Judith I was drafting a piece about Mental Health Awareness Week for the corporate blog at the company I work for. I submitted the article on Monday morning. It was published Tuesday lunchtime and to be honest I’ve been blown away by the response. It’s been picked up by management up to and including our CEO. I have a meeting next week with one of the senior managers to explore how I can get involved with the company’s mental health initiatives. This week has also seen me out twice socially. That’s not a typo — TWICE! Both eve...

I recently volunteered with Time to Change, the UK’s largest mental health campaign, at Northern Pride on Newcastle’s Town Moor. This was the third time I’ve volunteered. The first was at Newcastle Mental Health Day 2016 . The second was at last year’s Northern Pride. It was a little after 11 a.m. when I arrived at the Health Zone marquee and met up with Angela Slater, Time to Change Community Equalities Coordinator for the North East. I’ve known Angela a couple of years now, and it was great to catch up with her and the other volunteers (Time to Change calls us Champions). Angela introduced me to a friend of hers on a nearby sexual health stall, who was dressed for the occasion as Chlamydia, one of the most common sexually transmitted infections in the UK. It made for an interesting photo! The event proper began around 1 p.m. with the arrival of the parade. We were close to the main entrance and for an hour or so we were really busy! It doesn’t come naturally to me to engage wit...

It’s Saturday morning and as I often am, I’m sitting in my favourite coffee shop, Caffè Nero near the Haymarket in Newcastle. I’ve been coming here regularly since it opened. How many years is that? Before Fran and I began work on our book, for sure, and that’s pushing five years now. It’s hard to visualise, but this used to be the City Post Office. I’ve stood in line many times—where these tables are now—for postage stamps, or to send packages off all over the world. It looks so different now! And yet, there is a sense of continuity. I may have to go elsewhere these days for my postal services (as I did this morning, to buy stamps and to mail out a copy of our book) but it is here, a large black coffee to hand (“Would you like the extra shot?” “Yes please!”), that I write my letters, cards, and postcards. Here is also where I meet folk face-to-face. Caffè Nero is my social hub these days. The staff have changed over the years but have always been warm, personable, and supportive ...

Last week I was honoured to participate as a speaker in the annual “It Takes A Community” forum organised by Maine Behavioral Healthcare. This year’s theme was social media and mental health. It is a topic close to my heart. My best friend Fran Houston and I live 3,000 miles apart, and have recently published a book sharing our experience using social medial and the internet to grow a strong, mutually supportive friendship between, in Fran’s words, a “well one” and an “ill one.” Amongst other topics, the panel discussed people using social media to share their lived experience, whether as part of their personal response to illness, to help others living with similar conditions, or to participate in the wider movement challenging mental health stigma and discrimination. Many, Fran included, share openly. Others are quite frankly too busy getting through one day to the next. Many have learned the hard way what it costs to raise their heads above the parapet. Or maybe they feel it is ...

I’ve never been one to cut myself off from my “normal” life when I am on vacation. I know people who turn off their mobile phones and put their emails and social media on hold when they are away. It’s not a matter of right or wrong, but that’s never worked for me. Connection is important to me and I’d feel I was denying myself something enriching and valuable if I were to turn my back on it all. As I like to say, I don’t take vacations away from my friends—I take them with me! I’ve always loved photography, and with my smartphone and a decent internet connection (a prime consideration when I am looking for new holiday destinations and accommodation) I can share my experiences more or less in real time, instead of having to wait until I return home to process and post my photos. It’s also important to me that I keep in touch with friends, especially those reciprocal relationships which benefit both parties and which have established regular, often daily or near daily, rhythms....

This article has also been published at The Good Men Project . It inspired an exploration of weakness and emotional vulnerability which you can read here . Dear Dad I’m sitting here on a Sunday afternoon in my rocking chair, watching the tennis on television. How many afternoons did you spend like this, watching sport from your armchair? Tennis from Wimbledon, snooker, football on a Saturday. The classified football results became a familiar and comforting litany, though I never understood them. This is how I remember you. In your chair watching television. Benevolent but, like the football results, a mystery to me. What do I know of you; of my father, the man? What were your dreams? Your fears? Your doubts? What did you long for? What did you hate? I don’t think you were deliberately closed to me, but I never asked, and I can’t recall you venturing to share. I know you didn’t share Mum’s religiosity. Her churchgoing. Her faith. I recall one conversation between you. You te...

I don’t have a mental illness…at least not a diagnosed one. But that’s not to say mental illness hasn’t affected my life. My best friend was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and I saw first-hand the difficulties that came with the diagnosis. You might assume that these difficulties were from her internal struggle, trying to cope with the illness. And part of that is true…years after her diagnosis, she still struggles to stay balanced. As hard as that has been, the struggle to get help seemed even greater. It took a long time for my friend Mary (I’m not using her real name) to get help. I knew her long before she started taking medication for bipolar disorder; she was in denial for years. She didn’t have too many close friends, as she was very moody. Some days, she would be full of life and spontaneous, eager to try new things and take on the world. Other days, she would cancel our plans out of the blue. Some of the time, she would give me a fake explanation. “I have to take Max to the...

At the end of April I realized May would be Mental Health Month. I looked forward to seeing loving energy and attention being brought to those of us who struggle. Inside, my heart leapt. It wanted to contribute. It dawned on me that I could use my words and be vulnerable about things I deal with. I hesitated a bit because frankly that is scary and I would have to be brave. Here are all 31 of my posts gathered in one place. You can click the title of each one to see where I posted it originally on Facebook, and the comments it generated. Fran   Here’s my bit ‪#‎mentalhealthmonth‬ may 1 may is mental health awareness month.. more mind full more heart full less hurt full be.. ‪#‎endthestigma Here’s my bit ‪#‎mentalhealthmonth‬ may 2 Not sure how many of you have noticed, but I have not been posting much lately. When I am not strong I have few words and little faith. I withdraw because I feel no one cares about those more vulnerable. I work hard to stay strong but am ...

At the end of April I realized May would be Mental Health Month. I looked forward to seeing loving energy and attention being brought to those of us who struggle. Inside, my heart leapt. It wanted to contribute. It dawned on me that I could use my words and be vulnerable about things I deal with. I hesitated a bit because frankly that is scary and I would have to be brave. The first ten posts are here . Days eleven through twenty are here . You can click the title of each one to see where I posted it originally on Facebook, and the comments it got there. Fran   Here’s my bit ‪#‎mentalhealthmonth‬ may 21 Invisible illness doesn’t just mean you have an illness that can’t be seen, it means friends disappear and then you do.. ‪#‎endthestigma‬ Here’s my bit ‪#‎mentalhealthmonth‬ may 22 Sitting on my favorite bench on the back shore letting the ocean get inside me.. Taking responsibility. Taking strength. Early on I stopped blaming everyone and everything for my i...