Gum on My Shoe

Happy? Why does everyone have to be happy all the time? — Doc Martin , S6E7 This blog post was inspired by a conversation with Fran in which she mentioned asking a friend, “Are you happy?” After what I imagine was a moment’s hesitation her friend answered, “Sometimes yes. Sometimes no.” I smiled at the answer but it reminded me of something I struggle with a lot. We take for granted that everyone uses words in the same way. This is fine when we’re discussing material things or events. If I told you I spent six hours in my local coffee shop working on this blog post, you’d know what I meant. If I said I enjoyed myself you’d nod, relating my use of enjoyed to situations you’d label with the same word. But we don’t necessarily use it in the same way. We might label distinctly different emotions with the same word, and use different labels for essentially the same experience. I told Fran that if she was to ask me “Are you happy?” I’d first have to think about what that word means ...

Clap along if you know what happiness is to you. — Pharrell Williams. “Happy.” Founded in 2000 by the Society of Happy People (SOHP), Happiness Happens Month is observed each August as a celebration of the things that make us happy. To mark the occasion I posted the following request on our social media channels. ARE YOU HAPPY? I’m writing a blog post about happiness and would welcome your thoughts and experiences. What does happiness mean to you? What makes you happy? What was the last time you felt happy? The contributions are presented here with only minor edits for clarity. Happiness for me is when I’m dissatisfied enough to get on with something. Happiness = getting satisfaction out of life. (Paul) I’m happy as I’ve got my 2 kids by my side, through the good and bad days. (Joanne) Happiness, for me, is a carefree, safe, content feeling. (Sandra) I am happy everyday because I am choosing the lifestyle that makes me feel grounded and content. Enjoying the beauty o...

Check out our top blog posts for the past month. Posts are listed by the number of page views they attracted during the month, most popular first.

And there were times I’d take my pen And feel obliged to start again. — Orange Juice. “Rip it Up.” I think I just decided to scrap the blog post I’ve been writing as a guest piece for Sophie’s blog. I’ve been working on it almost every day for two weeks. It’s not writer’s block. I’ve written more than enough words. Most of the individual paragraphs are ok in themselves but the piece as a whole simply doesn’t work. Sigh. I remember writing those words. It was July 15 this year and I was sitting at the slightly wobbly table on the balcony of the cottage I’d rented at Windermere Marina Village in the Lake District. I’d settled in with a coffee and my little writing setup — my Android tablet on its stand and the larger of my two Bluetooth keyboards — hoping to find some creative clarity. I’d had such high hopes for that blog post. A title I was happy with. A great photo sourced from Unsplash. A solid lead into the piece, inspired by something my friend and fellow blogger Soph...

Falling each year on July 24, International Self-Care Day is an opportunity to promote self-care as a vital part of our health and wellbeing. The date (represented as 24/7 in most parts of the world, 7/24 in the US) reminds us that self-care is important twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. What Is Self-Care? Self-care is one of those terms that’s difficult to define, not least because it can mean different things to different people. I find the following definition of self-care by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) helpful. Self-care means taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical health and mental health. When it comes to your mental health, self-care can help you manage stress, lower your risk of illness, and increase your energy. Even small acts of self-care in your daily life can have a big impact. Self-care looks different for everyone, and it is important to find what you need and enjoy. It may take trial an...

TW: Mention of suicide, self-harm, rape, and abuse

Every gift from a friend is a wish for your happiness. — Richard Bach Even before I opened the package I knew it contained something special. Something chosen for me with care by a friend known for thoughtful gifting. The label confirmed my anticipatory delight. ♡ kindred | mugs made for connection I’ve written previously about my favourite coffee mugs . Surely here was a challenger for the crown. Opening the box I found not a mug but two ceramic beakers. I took them out. They felt good in my hand. I liked the simple two tone design. But surely they were too small? I stood them beside a regular coffee mug on the adjustable table that serves as my desk when I work from home. I was doubtful of Kindred’s assertion that “This joyful little duo is made for your in-between moments — just the right size for a flat white, matcha latte, or a slightly generous espresso.” Their website lists the beakers as 7.5 cm tall with a capacity of 195 ml. A small Americano at my local coff...

Check out our top blog posts for the past month. Posts are listed by the number of page views they attracted during the month, most popular first.

By Sophie Bolam When people think about therapy, they often imagine techniques, strategies, or interventions. Whilst these things certainly have their place, one of the most important lessons I have learned throughout my career is surprisingly simple: people want to feel both heard and understood. As a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist working with children, young people, adults and families, I have had the privilege of hearing many personal stories. Different ages, different circumstances, different challenges. Yet, beneath the surface, there is often a common theme. Many people arrive carrying not only the weight of their difficulties, but also the experience of feeling unheard, misunderstood, or alone in their experiences. Sometimes this comes from others. Sometimes it comes from systems that were never designed with their individual needs in mind. Sometimes it comes from years of trying to explain experiences that feel difficult to put into words. This can result in people mi...

All dogs are therapy dogs. Most are just freelancing. — Unknown I’m going to be honest. I wasn’t keen on the idea of Fran house and dog sitting. She’d been depressed for a while and from my perspective additional responsibility was the last thing she needed. I knew she’d done it in the past but that was a long time ago. Fran heard me out. She took my concerns on board. She spent the best part of a day thinking it over carefully. And decided to accept her friend’s invitation. This wasn’t a problem for me. It’s how we work. Each of us feels safe enough to be honest about what we think and feel. We ask each other’s advice and offer suggestions when invited, but we make up our own minds about things. I was totally behind her decision, once it had been made. There were only a couple of days to get ready but she’d only be away for a weekend so there wasn’t a lot to prepare. The big day arrived and Fran moved into her friend’s house. When I joined her on our evening video call she w...

In a previous blog post I mentioned being invited to attend an abdominal aortic aneurysm screening (also called an AAA screening). I thought I’d describe how it went for anyone who receives a similar invitation and wonders what an AAA screening actually involves. Disclaimer The following is taken from the information I was given in advance and my personal experience on the day. If you have any questions or are in any way unsure of your own situation consult your doctor or other health professionals. What Is an Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm? The aorta is the main blood vessel that supplies blood to your body. It runs from your heart down through your chest and abdomen. An abdominal aortic aneurysm is caused by a weakness in the wall of the aorta that can develop in some people as they get older. Large aneurysms are rare but can be very serious. If left untreated the wall of the aorta can burst. About eighty-five out of a hundred people die when an aneurysm bursts. An AAA is m...

TW: Mention of suicide and self-harm

By Rebecca Lombardo I couldn’t stop staring at the pictures. I’ve pulled them up on my phone more times than I can count, just trying to convince myself they’re real. The first time I saw that “before” picture, I was completely flabbergasted. I knew I was overweight, but I had no idea it looked like that. We didn’t even have a full-length mirror in the house at the time, so I never really saw the full picture. But seeing them side by side? It stopped me. More than a year apart, and it feels like I’m looking at two completely different lives. Back then, my day-to-day life was the best I could make of it while living with crippling depression and constant pain. My knees were so bad that just getting to the restroom meant using a walker. Some days, even the smallest tasks felt overwhelming. I knew I was struggling. I knew my quality of life had changed drastically. But the pain was so intense that I could only focus on getting through a couple things each day. Even something as...

Check out our top blog posts for the past month. Posts are listed by the number of page views they attracted during the month, most popular first.

This post was inspired by a story I saw on Tumblr. Apparently there was some kind of race scheduled at a local park or something so I’ve been trying to avoid the main trail but a little while ago when I had to cross near it I overheard the following shouted exchange. Higher feminine voice: woo, look at you go! You’re jogging! Keep it up! Lower masculine voice (panting): you know it! Last place is still a place, baby! And god damn if that didn’t rewire my brain a little bit. Last place is still a place, baby. I saved the link, knowing I’d want to explore it further. When I returned I saw it had attracted the following comment . I know of a trail racing company that gives the slowest racer who finishes every race a DFL award: Dead Fucking Last. I was a little taken aback by this until I had it explained to me that those last-place finishers are pretty much uniformly people for whom finishing at all was an accomplishment: people undergoing cancer treatments, absolute beginne...

TW: Mention of suicide and suicidality

Even small actions can help us feel hopeful and less powerless.   — Mental Health Foundation Organised by the Mental Health Foundation, Mental Health Awareness Week (MHAW) is an annual campaign to highlight the importance of good mental health. MHAW 2026 runs from May 11–17, inclusive. Previous themes have included body image, kindness, nature, loneliness, anxiety, movement, and community. The theme for MHAW 2026 is action. Action: for yourself, for someone else, for all of us We’ve chosen Action as this year’s theme because, while awareness is vital, real change comes when we take action too. Together, we’ve come a long way on mental health, but we can’t risk going backwards. There’s still much we can do to prevent people becoming unwell in the first place. We can interpret the call to action in many ways. Inspired by a recent conversation the action I’ve chosen to focus on is encouragement. That might not seem particularly relevant or useful given the challenges we f...