Gum on My Shoe

Check out our top blog posts for the past month. Posts are listed by the number of page views they attracted during the month, most popular first.

By Sophie Bolam When people think about therapy, they often imagine techniques, strategies, or interventions. Whilst these things certainly have their place, one of the most important lessons I have learned throughout my career is surprisingly simple: people want to feel both heard and understood. As a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist working with children, young people, adults and families, I have had the privilege of hearing many personal stories. Different ages, different circumstances, different challenges. Yet, beneath the surface, there is often a common theme. Many people arrive carrying not only the weight of their difficulties, but also the experience of feeling unheard, misunderstood, or alone in their experiences. Sometimes this comes from others. Sometimes it comes from systems that were never designed with their individual needs in mind. Sometimes it comes from years of trying to explain experiences that feel difficult to put into words. This can result in people mi...

All dogs are therapy dogs. Most are just freelancing. — Unknown I’m going to be honest. I wasn’t keen on the idea of Fran house and dog sitting. She’d been depressed for a while and from my perspective additional responsibility was the last thing she needed. I knew she’d done it in the past but that was a long time ago. Fran heard me out. She took my concerns on board. She spent the best part of a day thinking it over carefully. And decided to accept her friend’s invitation. This wasn’t a problem for me. It’s how we work. Each of us feels safe enough to be honest about what we think and feel. We ask each other’s advice and offer suggestions when invited, but we make up our own minds about things. I was totally behind her decision, once it had been made. There were only a couple of days to get ready but she’d only be away for a weekend so there wasn’t a lot to prepare. The big day arrived and Fran moved into her friend’s house. When I joined her on our evening video call she w...

In a previous blog post I mentioned being invited to attend an abdominal aortic aneurysm screening (also called an AAA screening). I thought I’d describe how it went for anyone who receives a similar invitation and wonders what an AAA screening actually involves. Disclaimer The following is taken from the information I was given in advance and my personal experience on the day. If you have any questions or are in any way unsure of your own situation consult your doctor or other health professionals. What Is an Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm? The aorta is the main blood vessel that supplies blood to your body. It runs from your heart down through your chest and abdomen. An abdominal aortic aneurysm is caused by a weakness in the wall of the aorta that can develop in some people as they get older. Large aneurysms are rare but can be very serious. If left untreated the wall of the aorta can burst. About eighty-five out of a hundred people die when an aneurysm bursts. An AAA is m...

TW: Mention of suicide and self-harm

By Rebecca Lombardo I couldn’t stop staring at the pictures. I’ve pulled them up on my phone more times than I can count, just trying to convince myself they’re real. The first time I saw that “before” picture, I was completely flabbergasted. I knew I was overweight, but I had no idea it looked like that. We didn’t even have a full-length mirror in the house at the time, so I never really saw the full picture. But seeing them side by side? It stopped me. More than a year apart, and it feels like I’m looking at two completely different lives. Back then, my day-to-day life was the best I could make of it while living with crippling depression and constant pain. My knees were so bad that just getting to the restroom meant using a walker. Some days, even the smallest tasks felt overwhelming. I knew I was struggling. I knew my quality of life had changed drastically. But the pain was so intense that I could only focus on getting through a couple things each day. Even something as...

Check out our top blog posts for the past month. Posts are listed by the number of page views they attracted during the month, most popular first.

This post was inspired by a story I saw on Tumblr. Apparently there was some kind of race scheduled at a local park or something so I’ve been trying to avoid the main trail but a little while ago when I had to cross near it I overheard the following shouted exchange. Higher feminine voice: woo, look at you go! You’re jogging! Keep it up! Lower masculine voice (panting): you know it! Last place is still a place, baby! And god damn if that didn’t rewire my brain a little bit. Last place is still a place, baby. I saved the link, knowing I’d want to explore it further. When I returned I saw it had attracted the following comment . I know of a trail racing company that gives the slowest racer who finishes every race a DFL award: Dead Fucking Last. I was a little taken aback by this until I had it explained to me that those last-place finishers are pretty much uniformly people for whom finishing at all was an accomplishment: people undergoing cancer treatments, absolute beginne...

TW: Mention of suicide and suicidality

Even small actions can help us feel hopeful and less powerless.   — Mental Health Foundation Organised by the Mental Health Foundation, Mental Health Awareness Week (MHAW) is an annual campaign to highlight the importance of good mental health. MHAW 2026 runs from May 11–17, inclusive. Previous themes have included body image, kindness, nature, loneliness, anxiety, movement, and community. The theme for MHAW 2026 is action. Action: for yourself, for someone else, for all of us We’ve chosen Action as this year’s theme because, while awareness is vital, real change comes when we take action too. Together, we’ve come a long way on mental health, but we can’t risk going backwards. There’s still much we can do to prevent people becoming unwell in the first place. We can interpret the call to action in many ways. Inspired by a recent conversation the action I’ve chosen to focus on is encouragement. That might not seem particularly relevant or useful given the challenges we f...

By Lisa Judson If anyone had told me two years ago that I’d be swimming in open water, all through the year, in temperatures that sometimes go down to the minus figures, I would, without doubt, have told them EXACTLY where to go! But here we are, two years on and guess what I’m doing, between two and four times a week on average?! The way it worked was that my therapist tried for more than two years to get me to try it. She explained how good it was for your central nervous system and how it would help to reset my brain. She even took me to the lake where I now swim around four times a week. I laughed and said, (this is the polite, publishable version by the way) “not a chance — but the oat milk decaf latte was ok — so I’d come down and join you for one of those.” About six months later I was standing at the edge of the lake, in a wetsuit, with her encouraging me to just step in for a moment. It has to be said that my ADHD brain is a little tinker for helping me into an “all or...

By Lisa Judson My mum had eight siblings. Her youngest sister, Jean, or as I called her, my Diddy Aunty (for context, she was under five feet tall and I was taller than her by the time I was eight), was like a second mum to me. When I lost my mum in 2009, it was my Diddy Aunty who quietly stepped in and filled that space. So when she was tragically killed seven years ago, the impact was enormous. Nobody expected it. There was no preparation. No warning. Just shock. And grief. Somehow, in the middle of all that, it fell to me to care for her husband and organise her funeral. When I asked him what he would like for her service, he simply stared at me and said, “I’ve no idea, ducky. We never talked about it.” Tentatively, I replied, “Well actually, I know. She told me.” He looked at me, equal parts indignant and relieved, and asked, “Why did she do that?” The answer was simple. “Because I asked her.” You see, by that point I had already played this very sad game several tim...

The magic is inside you ... there ain’t no crystal ball! — Dolly Parton Wednesday May 6, 2026 Dear Fran. Today is our fifteenth anniversary as friends. Fifteen is a big number. Not as big as 5,479 which is the number of days we’ve been friends but big nonetheless. Remember in the beginning when I insisted on marking each succeeding month of our friendship? I’ve always had a tendency to overdo things. To be too much. You’ve done well to put up with me! I couldn’t have known we’d still be friends all these years later but from the moment we met your presence in my life was something I wanted to celebrate. That hasn’t changed, though I don’t say it so often. Fifteenth anniversaries are traditionally marked with crystal. Apparently it symbolises the “clear, sparkling, and transparent nature” of the relationship as well as its beauty, strength, and durability whilst simultaneously reminding both parties “to handle their lasting bond with care, as crystal is fragile.” So mu...

TW: Mention of suicide, abuse, and rape

Check out our top blog posts for the past month. Posts are listed by the number of page views they attracted during the month, most popular first.

Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. — Susan Cain A few months ago I shared a post inspired by Fran’s approach to things she’s unsure or anxious about. It wasn’t a theoretical exercise for me. As I mentioned in the article I’d been invited to a wedding in April. “I’m already anxious about it,” I confessed. “But it means a lot that my friends want me there and I’m looking forward to celebrating their day with them.” Social anxiety isn’t fun. And it’s not only weddings. I’ve felt anxious attending funerals, parties, mental health events (I’m aware of the irony), even get togethers with friends. If the plans involve more than two other people it’s a safe bet I’ll be uneasy about it beforehand. I called it social anxiety but I can be more specific. It’s the conversations that are the issue. I’m generally okay talking one-to-one. But as soon as there’s a third perso...

The one thing you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. — Neil Gaiman, Make Good Art My friend Sophie May was recently interviewed by Tasha Hargreaves for the Bold Brave Business Owners podcast. You can listen to the episode (“It’s more about progression than perfection”) here on Spotify . Sophie and I are relatively new friends, having met online a few months ago. I was fascinated to learn more of her personal journey and the digital marketing business she began earlier this year. Her hopes, vision, and passion came across powerfully and will undoubtedly be of interest and help to many. I look forward to showcasing more of her story and experience here at Gum on My Shoe in the near future. It occurred to me that many of our friends and readers haven’t met me or Fran in person and may never have heard our voices. I thought it would be fun to share a few of our favourite speaking engagements. There’s a full list on our portfolio page...

As many of you will recall our blog had a total makeover back in January. Fran and I thought it would be nice to update you on what’s been happening behind the scenes since then and highlight a few successes. New Look Same Passion As we said at the time the revamp was to improve the experience for our visitors and didn’t in any way represent a change in our mission, values, and goals. We remain focused on sharing honest conversations about mental health and the power of supportive friendships. Check our announcement post A Fresh Look for Gum on My Shoe for a reminder of what changed and what didn’t. The revamp seems to have gone down well. Here’s what our dear friend Andi shared with us. I found the new website very easy to navigate AND I can’t put my finger on it, but it’s warmer, like I’m in a room with you & Fran & your guests as opposed to viewing a virtual site. I like it a lot! Thanks, Andi! Let us know what works for you, anything that doesn’t, and what you...

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it? — Steven Wright This blog post was inspired by a letter from my friend Maya who lives in Cornwall. She described the aftermath of Storm Goretti which had brought extensive damage to the region. “Weather wise,” she said, “we’re still being rattled around by the wind: things blown all over the place; bins and recycling bags going for walkabout (or blowabouts), scattering litter that people seem not to care two hoots about where it ends up.” She then introduced a term I’d never encountered before. “Ever heard of ‘plogging’ by the way? I hadn’t! It’s the act of picking up litter while jogging!” It turns out plogging originated in Sweden around 2016. The word is a portmanteau of “jogging” and the Swedish phrase plocka upp (pick up). It sounds fun but I can’t imagine myself jogging. That’s not to say that litter collecting is the preserve of the fit and healthy. As if to prove the point Maya included a photo of Orinoco from the t...