Gum on My Shoe

By Fran Houston Joy not jealousy. Not so long ago being jealous was part of my repertoire. I saw people eating deliciously. I saw warm luxurious homes. I saw travels that made me ache. Mostly I just ached for simple invitations which never came. Not liking how I felt I decided to be glad for everyone in all their blessings and endeavors. When jealousy came I invited joy. I began doing things by myself, then inviting others, then planning trips. I found myself in a life I love. I found myself in joy.   Originally posted on Facebook Aug 12, 2016. Photo by Preslie Hirsch at Unsplash.  

Help when you can. Be there when you can. Encourage when you can. A truly happy life comes from giving more than you take . That anonymous quotation came up in my social media feed the other day. On the surface, it’s a straightforward encouragement to help people because it’s good for us to do so. There are three separate elements to it, though, each of which deserves exploring. Offer what people need Offer when you can Enjoy the rewards Let’s take a look at them in a little more detail. Offer What People Need The quotation doesn’t simply say help people, it suggests offering practical help, offering our presence, and offering encouragement. The point is there are different ways to support people, and it’s important to match what we offer with what will help them best. I’m reminded of a maxim of Fran’s that I find really helpful: Give people what they need. Not what you need to give them. It’s easy to skip the first part and leap in with whatever assistance we think is ...

At the start of the year I posted a list of Six Things I'd Quite Like to Do in 2019 . I shared an update in August, but how did I get on overall? Let’s take a look! 1. Take Three Well-being Courses ACHIEVED I feel I've done pretty well with this one. I began two courses which I've yet to complete: Overcoming Self-Sabotage at DailyOM and OpenLearn's Understanding Autism . I updated my Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) training and took Pluralsight's excellent Introduction to Emotional Intelligence , also Future Learn's Understanding Suicide and Suicide Prevention Strategies in a Global Context . Best of all I completed the three day Personal Leadership Programme offered by The Living Leader . This was excellent and gave me plenty to think about. The single best aspect of the course was the Vision Statement we were each invited to write: a snapshot of the ideal life we might have if we believed anything were possible. That is something I will be keeping v...

This is a midyear update on a post I wrote back in January: Six Things I'd Quite Like to Do in 2019 . Let’s see how I’ve been getting on! 1. Take Three Well-being Courses ONGOING At the start of the year I enrolled on the Overcoming Self-Sabotage course at DailyOM. I completed the first three lessons (of fourteen) but ground to a halt and haven't managed to get moving again. I have updated my Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) training, though, and am currently taking OpenLearn's Understanding autism course. I've also completed Pluralsight's excellent Introduction to Emotional Intelligence . The course recommended the book Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, which I bought and am working my way through. I'm finding it exciting and challenging — always a great combination! Speaking of exciting and challenging, I've been offered the opportunity to undertake the three day Personal Leadership Programme by Living Leader later in the year. It w...

At the start of 2017 and the start of 2018 I listed a number of things I would “quite like to do” during the respective years. I’ve had a lot of fun - and some challenges - with this and I want to continue in the same vein. Here then is my list for 2019. I’ll let you know how I get on! You can see how I did in previous years here: 2017 | 2018 . 1. Take Three Well-being Courses I took two excellent courses at Newcastle Recovery College Collective (ReCoCo) towards the end of 2018. The first was on self-harm awareness . The second was a Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) Awareness workshop . I have worked on – and used – my WRAP plan since taking the workshop, which is a testament to how useful the classes were. In the coming year I’d like to take three additional well-being / personal development courses, not necessarily at ReCoCo. The health of any friendship is the responsibility of both parties but I have a history of being either “way too much” or “not enough” in my r...

Fran’s words from a few days ago are still with me: “The truest response is letting go ...” Yes... let go of pain, of joy, of aching, of delight ... Do not hold on to any of it. Let it rise, have its moment, and go, to be replaced by what arises in its stead ... externally and within you. Offer minimal resistance to what arises ... Let it pass through you, joyously, gratefully ... We cling, we hold on, from fear. Fear of losing what was never ours to begin with. Fear of daring to reach for what is within our grasp. This moment is all that you will ever own. It is what you have brought into being, it is what you were brought into being to experience, herenow. You are the universe’s gift to itself in this moment. No other has been granted this gift. Accept it, take it in your hands, examine its shape, colours, textures. Allow it fully into your awareness ... And let it go again ... Life is not a lesson, though you can choose to see it as such. Life is not a trial, though you are free t...