Gum on My Shoe

This article is excerpted from chapter 3, “The Way to Wellness: Treatments, Therapies, and Vigilance,” of our book High Tide, Low Tide: The Caring Friend’s Guide to Bipolar Disorder . Getting Well and Staying Well In the last chapter [The Illness Experience: Understanding Your Friend’s Diagnosis and Symptoms] we explored the symptoms Fran lives with day-to-day. Let’s turn now to how she limits their impact, so as to live as fully and richly as possible. We discuss only medications, therapies, and other treatments Fran has used personally. These may not be directly relevant to your friend’s situation. As Fran expresses it, “What works for me may not work for you, and vice versa. We need to find our own ways and make peace with them.” It is also important to note that no strategy works forever. What we report as having worked for Fran in the past may not do so in the future. In the realm of chronic illness, wellness is a dynamic experience. We hope, nevertheless, to convey two...

By Fran Houston Sometimes I wake up. Sometimes not. I hold onto the bed for dear life. I am familiar with the night and its darkness. As a child I lived in the basement of our house as a mole does in his tunnel and could navigate through the narrow path of jagged, stacked boxes to the bathroom in the dark. The lights didn’t work. Wrapped in my blanket of night, I am safe and warm. In the night are dreams. Dreams of all the things that can’t be done in my body because of its restrictions of fatigue and pain. I indulge my soul’s longing to fly. The day hurts my eyes with its stinging brightness. Music hurts my ears with its loudness and overstimulation. I like the quiet of night. I have chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, and bipolar disorder. They operate as independent sine waves. At any time, I can be exhausted and manic, energized and depressed. Every combination imaginable. The cycles can last for days or months or even years. It’s an odd assortment. I had a mate. I ha...

If we want to support our friends and loved ones, it is important to understand what we mean when we talk about illness and wellness. It would be easier if everyone approached these topics in the same way, but this is not always the case. Our attitudes towards illness and wellness are heavily influenced by our lived experience, as well as broader societal values and beliefs. In this article I want to discuss three models of illness and wellness which Fran and I have encountered at different times in our lives. The Medical Model This is the standard Western medical, scientific approach, and is how I was trained to think of illness and its treatment when I studied pharmacy at university. According to this model, the body is a complex machine and illness occurs when components fail or malfunction. The patient is the owner or inhabitant of a machine which has gone wrong and needs fixing. Diagnosis and treatment are the responsibility of people trained in the medical specialties an...

It’s easier to be there for someone if you understand what they’re going through. But how can you understand if you’ve never been there yourself ? That’s the situation I found myself in when I met my best friend Fran for the first time in 2011. Fran lives with three chronic health conditions I’d never experienced and knew nothing about: bipolar disorder, chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS/ME), and fibromyalgia. Being her friend didn’t mean I had to become an expert in any of these but I wanted to learn as much as I could, so I could be there for her as effectively as possible. I’m sharing my education journey in the hope it might help someone in a similar position. I’ll focus on bipolar disorder but the principles apply no matter what mental or physical health condition your friend or loved one lives with. It’s also relevant to other lived experience including abuse, bereavement, discrimination, self-harm, stigma, suicidality, or trauma. Whatever your friend’s situation, appr...

I’ve felt below par mentally for a while now. It’s possible I’ve been depressed, although I’m wary of self-diagnosis and haven’t sought a clinical opinion. I can trace some of it back several years but I’ve only lately felt up to talking about it publically. It’s not that I’ve ignored my mental health altogether. I’m aware of many of my triggers; the situations and events that tend to pull the rug out from under me. I captured the main ones in my Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) back in 2019, and review it periodically. My triggers include: Changes in relationships (which I tend to perceive as lessening, loss, or abandonment) Uncertainty or lack of clarity in communications Getting overwhelmed by competing demands for my time and attention My triggered responses include feeling anxious and panicky, a strong sense of loss or abandonment, and becoming either pushy or clingy. My WRAP includes recovery strategies which help me return to my baseline, such as talking things ov...

By Aimee Wilson When the virus was first being talked about on social media, I honestly thought it was a joke because Corona is a popular drink among many of my friends and family! And now look at the world! I’m ashamed to say that I don’t think I started taking it seriously until things began closing and the supermarket shelves started to empty! In all honesty, I thought that people were just panicking for no reason and causing unnecessary drama. Firstly, I don’t really pay much attention to current affairs; not because I’m ignorant. It’s just that I don’t see how worrying about something that either doesn’t concern me or that I can’t do anything about, is helpful to my mental health. Some people might think that makes me self-involved but feeling powerless is one of my triggering emotions and to hear of people starving and dying or their country being on fire, doesn’t help my safety and is there a whole lot of point in risking my safety for something I can’t change? 1. Your foo...

By Quinn Brown Photo of Scarborough beach chalets by the author As someone who suffers with crippling anxiety, it has unfortunately heightened due to the outbreak of coronavirus which is affecting pretty much the entire planet. But I have been finding ways to focus on things that are not coronavirus related. Here is what I did to help myself which could help anyone who is in the same boat. Partake in some photography. I have a nephew who I have been using as my subject but you can also use objects or pets, whichever takes your fancy. Put some calming music on. I’m a Motown / Marvin Gaye kind of guy myself so that type of music helps to relax me when my anxiety starts flaring up. Talk to friends online or by phone. You can use apps such as Skype or Zoom or you can just use Messenger. Or if you want to hear a voice, a good old phone call is also good. Indulge in a good book! I’ve been reading Dracula by Bram Stoker and it is a classic! Blogging is one of my ways of venting a...

There is a huge focus right now on the physical symptoms of Coronavirus (COVID-19) and how the virus will affect our day-to-day lives, but our mental health is important too. The following tips will help you, your friends and family look after yourselves and each other. Stay Informed It’s easy to be overwhelmed by all the coverage and statistics from around the world. It’s ok to take a break from news and social media if you need to but don’t totally lose touch with what’s happening and how it might affect you. Use reputable sources you trust to stay up to date. I have included a few links at the bottom of this article. Stay Connected At times like this it’s important to look out for each other. Check in with friends, family, and neighbours who might appreciate support or practical help. If you or they are self-isolating or unable to visit in person use the telephone or social media. No one is too far away to be cared for, or to care. Stay Honest and Open Involve your children ...

I rarely feel the need to record my self-care habits, but from time to time I find it helpful to monitor things a little more closely. For the past ten days Fran has been staying with a friend in Arizona, after which she will visit another friend in Florida. Apart from a few days in between, she will be away from home for almost six weeks. Although we stay in touch, vacations inevitably mean we are less in contact than usual, which can be hard on us both. I’ve also had a few things going on in my personal life that have affected me deeply. At such times it’s is all too easy to slip into feeling low, so based on my Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) I decided to use a wellness tracker to keep me in touch with healthy practices and activities. My Wellness Tracker Spreadsheet I first tried this back in 2013 when Fran took an extended trip around Europe. On that occasion I used a Google Docs spreadsheet and recorded brief notes about what was happening each day, how much exercis...

Imagine looking down on your country or continent from a plane. You are aware of the general terrain: mountains, lowlands, lakes and rivers. Perhaps you recognise some locations – places you have visited or heard about – but there are no lines or labels down there on the ground to distinguish this country or state from the next. Now take out a map of the same area. The map is not the landscape, it is a model of the landscape, and it is full of labels. This area has a line drawn around it. The area inside is labelled so . If it is a political map, the line might define a country; this line a different country, this line a county, state or principality. Select a different map of the same region. Maybe this one displays regions in terms of economic affluence, manufacturing output, average rainfall, or languages spoken. The area that was labelled “England” will now carry other labels. The labels applied depend on their definitions, and which maps we choose. Maps and labels are incr...

It’s been quite a week, one way or another. At times I’ve been as low and despairing as I have in months; at others I’ve felt grounded and whole. Here are ten things I’ve learned about myself in the process. Maybe some of them will resonate with you too. 1. Things Are Shitty Sometimes It’s rare for me to feel so low, stressed, or overwhelmed that it interferes with my day-to-day life. Mostly I move through upsets and difficulties fairly smoothly. But sometimes even my tried and tested strategies for making it through bad days fail me. The best thing I can do then is accept I’m struggling. That’s not easy, because my life is generally stable and secure. I have a home, a family, a job, financial security, amazing friends, and decent health. What is there for me to feel overwhelmed by, anxious or low about? I’m aware of the danger such thinking presents, however. “I’ve no right to be struggling” stops people seeking the help they might need. So yes, my life gets shitty too someti...