Gum on My Shoe

This post was inspired by a TED Talk video I watched the other day, in which journalist and author Johann Hari discusses societal factors affecting our mental health. I recommend the talk in full, but for me the key message occurs seventeen minutes in. Johann is discussing a project by Professor Tim Kasser and Nathan Dungan involving a group of adults and teenagers. Part of the point of the group was to get people to think about a moment in their life they have actually found meaning and purpose. For different people, it was different things. For some people it was music, writing, helping someone. I’m sure everyone here can think of something. And part of the point of the group was to get people to ask, “OK, how could you dedicate more of your life to pursuing these moments of meaning and purpose.” Later that day, I dialled into the weekly coffee morning call at work. Hosted by Mental Health First Aiders, these calls offer an informal opportunity to chat about how we’re doing, sh...

Organised by the World Foundation for Mental Health (WFMH) and observed each year on October 10, World Mental Health Day (WMHD) is an opportunity to raise awareness of mental health issues and to mobilize efforts in support of mental health. This year’s theme is “Mental Health for All: Greater Investment — Greater Access.” In the words of WFMH president Dr Ingrid Daniels: Mental health is a human right — it’s time that mental health is available for all. Quality, accessible primary health care is the foundation for universal health coverage and is urgently required as the world grapples with the current health emergency. We, therefore, need to make mental health a reality for all — for everyone, everywhere. You can read Dr Daniels’ full statement and find further resources including a downloadable information pack on the WFMH website . A joint release on WMHD 2020 by the World Health Organization, United for Global Mental Health and the WFMH is here . Individua...

At the start of the year I posted a list of Six Things I'd Quite Like to Do in 2019 . I shared an update in August, but how did I get on overall? Let’s take a look! 1. Take Three Well-being Courses ACHIEVED I feel I've done pretty well with this one. I began two courses which I've yet to complete: Overcoming Self-Sabotage at DailyOM and OpenLearn's Understanding Autism . I updated my Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) training and took Pluralsight's excellent Introduction to Emotional Intelligence , also Future Learn's Understanding Suicide and Suicide Prevention Strategies in a Global Context . Best of all I completed the three day Personal Leadership Programme offered by The Living Leader . This was excellent and gave me plenty to think about. The single best aspect of the course was the Vision Statement we were each invited to write: a snapshot of the ideal life we might have if we believed anything were possible. That is something I will be keeping v...

I’m not trying to make a huge thing out of this but it struck me that sometimes there’s a value in connection, in reaching out to someone, that goes beyond whatever words might be exchanged in the course of the call or conversation or whatever it might be. Audio version here (YouTube) A friend messaged me today to ask if I’d like to have a call with her while she was traveling to meet up with somebody. And I was “Yeah cool, let’s do that!” Unfortunately, although we started off really well, by the time my friend got onto the bus we discovered it was actually quite hard to continue with the conversation. I’m not sure if it’s because she was on the bus and maybe traveling in and out of a decent signal area, or whether there was some other technological reason, but it became difficult to hear each other. So after a little while, before we got too frustrated with it or with each other, we decided to leave it there. We’ll pick up another time. Afterwards, I messaged my friend to s...

Fran and I were talking the other day about scripted conversations. You know the kind I mean; where you pretty much know what the other person is going to say and how you’ll respond. If pressed, you could probably write the whole thing out in advance. There’s nothing wrong with this. Scripts help us navigate socially with people we don’t know very well or have no wish to engage deeply. Whether it’s our morning chat with that person we see at the bus stop, the barista in our favourite coffee shop, or water-cooler moments with colleagues, scripts reassure us we are on the same page. It’s unhealthy, though, when our core friendships and relationships come to rely on scripted conversations and behaviours. That’s what I want to explore in this article. I will focus on essentially benign situations but toxicity and abuse can be scripted too. Am I in a Scripted Relationship? If you’re unsure, think ahead to the next time you’re going to meet this person. It might be face-to-face, a p...

This is a midyear update on a post I wrote back in January: Six Things I'd Quite Like to Do in 2019 . Let’s see how I’ve been getting on! 1. Take Three Well-being Courses ONGOING At the start of the year I enrolled on the Overcoming Self-Sabotage course at DailyOM. I completed the first three lessons (of fourteen) but ground to a halt and haven't managed to get moving again. I have updated my Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) training, though, and am currently taking OpenLearn's Understanding autism course. I've also completed Pluralsight's excellent Introduction to Emotional Intelligence . The course recommended the book Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, which I bought and am working my way through. I'm finding it exciting and challenging — always a great combination! Speaking of exciting and challenging, I've been offered the opportunity to undertake the three day Personal Leadership Programme by Living Leader later in the year. It w...

By Aimee Wilson   When she fought, he won When she stole, he caught her When she looked, he hid When she bent, he broke her When she hurt, he caused it When she ran, he gave chase When she saw, he missed it When she heard, he ignored   But when she died, they revived her When she cut, they mended When she swallowed, they treat When she cried, they soothed When she ran, they caught When she lost hope, they showed her the way   She won back what he’d taken She mended what he had broke She stabilized what he had moved She finished what he had started She lived     About the Author Aimee Wilson is a 28-year-old mental health blogger who has used her personal experiences to develop a popular online profile. Aimee was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder in 2009, and after over 60 attempts on her life was admitted to a long-term, specialist psychiatric hospital almost 200 miles from home. It was during her two-and-a-half-year stay in ho...

By Jen Evans My friend Marty wrote down some things he’d quite like to do this year and I liked his idea so much that I thought I’d do the same. I’ve never been one for resolutions. They always seemed too resolute and never last because I think I literally expected too much of myself. But cultivating and harvesting ... a slow, gradual harvest over the year, that seems reasonable. When I think of cultivating, I think of habits that take time to build and maintain, and have to be worked on each day, or a set amount of time each week, in order for them to harvest. Here is what I’d like to cultivate and harvest this season. 1. Three times a week, I would like to write down in a journal all the things I am grateful for during that week. 2. Meditate twice a week and log it or write about the experience. 3. Cultivate a healthier me. To me this looks like a girl who makes healthier choices around food and who likes the way she looks in a mirror. I’d like to get down to 200 lbs. An...

At the start of 2017 and the start of 2018 I listed a number of things I would “quite like to do” during the respective years. I’ve had a lot of fun - and some challenges - with this and I want to continue in the same vein. Here then is my list for 2019. I’ll let you know how I get on! You can see how I did in previous years here: 2017 | 2018 . 1. Take Three Well-being Courses I took two excellent courses at Newcastle Recovery College Collective (ReCoCo) towards the end of 2018. The first was on self-harm awareness . The second was a Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) Awareness workshop . I have worked on – and used – my WRAP plan since taking the workshop, which is a testament to how useful the classes were. In the coming year I’d like to take three additional well-being / personal development courses, not necessarily at ReCoCo. The health of any friendship is the responsibility of both parties but I have a history of being either “way too much” or “not enough” in my r...

Back in January I posted a list of seven things I’d quite like to do in 2018 . I shared a mid-year update , but how did I get on overall? 1. Read Two Books ACHIEVED The two books I originally selected to read (actually to reread) were Talk Like TED , by Carmine Gallo, and Peter Matthiessen’s The Snow Leopard . I didn’t finish the first and haven’t started the second but I did reread Alan Garner’s The Owl Service , and Fran and I recently finished A Fatal Obsession , the latest thriller by Maine author James Hayman. 2. Bring My Weight Back under 180 Pounds ACHIEVED As I reported back in June , I’d had very little success through the first half of the year, but I finally found the motivation to do something about it. I brought my weight down from 192 lbs to around 178 – 180 lbs, where it has remained for a month or so. My intention is to press on again to reattain the weight I was at a few years ago when I first brought myself down from 200 lbs. Watch this spa...

“You’re stuck with me now, Frannie. I hope you realise that.” “Like gum on my shoe.” Fran and I are a team. Team Gum. That’s the starting point for pretty much everything we do, especially in the mental health arena. Our book . Our blog. Our social media presence . Podcasts. Interviews. Events. Book readings. Everything . There are no hard and fast rules for how we balance things between the two of us and with the many other aspects of our lives. It depends on the nature of the work itself, our individual skills, experience, and preferences. It also depends on our commitments, health, and whatever else may be going on in our lives at the time. I thought it would be interesting to take a look at how it all works for us. Mental Health Experience and Awareness It is no secret that before I met Fran I had little knowledge or awareness of mental health. Fran had a lifetime’s worth which she shared, and continues to share, openly and honestly. Mania. Depression. Suicidality. Fatigu...