Gum on My Shoe

Don’t tell people they can do the impossible. Tell people that they can do the possible that they think is impossible. — Denis Waitley This post was inspired by something I saw recently on social media concerning illness and expectations. The author recalled someone they knew years ago who’d completed a major endurance feat despite living with significant physical disabilities. Their achievement had reinforced in the author the commonplace expectation that “anything is possible” if you’re sufficiently motivated, no matter your situation or circumstances. They were ill-prepared for the reality. Life is often far more restrictive and restricted, especially for someone with energy-limiting conditions. They highlighted the lack of help and guidance for people with chronic health conditions who grieve the life they never get to live. The post had been shared by Facebook accounts focusing on conditions including chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS/ME) and fibromyalgia, attracting a lot ...

By Fran Houston Sometimes I wake up. Sometimes not. I hold onto the bed for dear life. I am familiar with the night and its darkness. As a child I lived in the basement of our house as a mole does in his tunnel and could navigate through the narrow path of jagged, stacked boxes to the bathroom in the dark. The lights didn’t work. Wrapped in my blanket of night, I am safe and warm. In the night are dreams. Dreams of all the things that can’t be done in my body because of its restrictions of fatigue and pain. I indulge my soul’s longing to fly. The day hurts my eyes with its stinging brightness. Music hurts my ears with its loudness and overstimulation. I like the quiet of night. I have chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, and bipolar disorder. They operate as independent sine waves. At any time, I can be exhausted and manic, energized and depressed. Every combination imaginable. The cycles can last for days or months or even years. It’s an odd assortment. I had a mate. I ha...

By Sarah Blackshaw In this hectic world, maintaining friendships can be a tricky thing to do. When you have a chronic physical health condition such as fibromyalgia, it can be even harder. I spend a lot of time working with people who struggle with pain and fatigue, and I’ve written this blog post to explain the things that I think are important when accessing social support with a condition like fibromyalgia. Communication Is Key The thing I hear most often when talking to people who are struggling with pain and fatigue is that “other people don’t understand.” That’s likely to be due to a combination of factors. As a society, we don’t do a very good job of explaining conditions like fibromyalgia, as we tend to buy into a model of “have something wrong – go to doctor – get fixed – live happily ever after.” That model rarely works any more these days, and instead we have lots of people struggling with chronic physical and mental health conditions that cause distress. On top of...

By Lea It is only when we lose what we had that we realise just what we had. This is true in different elements of life. Sadly, this year it was true for me when it came to my Mental Wealth. Between the ages of seven to twenty-two my Mental Wealth was lost, eaten alive and consumed by a range of people, from bullies at school, to the lack of trust shown by professionals who had the training to know better, and others. All this in addition to a rough deck of cards life had thrown my way. Over those years, though, I was fortunate to spend a twenty-four week admission to The Crisis Recovery Unit, a specialist unit which was part of The Maudsley Hospital, which specialised in attempting to reach those for whom self-injury had become a coping mechanism. I guess the best analogy I can make is that my body, my life, my experiences, my emotions were like an ostrich egg. The staff at the CRU chipped away slowly and methodically to break down the barriers I had put up as an act of self-...

Sunday, November 6, 2016 / 1-5 pm EST BLUE / 650A Congress St, Portland, Maine / www.portcityblue.com Join transatlantic best friends Martin Baker and Fran Houston for an afternoon of music, readings and fun, to celebrate their new book, “High Tide, Low Tide: The Caring Friend’s Guide to Bipolar Disorder,” and raise funds for Maine-based mental health nonprofit Family Hope ( www.familyhopeme.org ). “We thank all our friends who have come together to make our book, our event, and our way of looking at mental health a different way of being in the world.” (Martin & Fran) Martin Baker (via Skype from the UK) & Fran Houston Donna Betts, Executive Director, Family Hope Phil Divinsky, Master of Ceremonies Sherrie Phair, singer extraordinaire Kate Beever ( www.mainemusicandhealth.com/staff ) Jason Spooner with Adam Fredrick on bass ( www.jasonspooner.com/band.asp ) About the book We all want to be there for our friends, but when your friend lives with mental illness it can be h...

I’ve never been one to cut myself off from my “normal” life when I am on vacation. I know people who turn off their mobile phones and put their emails and social media on hold when they are away. It’s not a matter of right or wrong, but that’s never worked for me. Connection is important to me and I’d feel I was denying myself something enriching and valuable if I were to turn my back on it all. As I like to say, I don’t take vacations away from my friends—I take them with me! I’ve always loved photography, and with my smartphone and a decent internet connection (a prime consideration when I am looking for new holiday destinations and accommodation) I can share my experiences more or less in real time, instead of having to wait until I return home to process and post my photos. It’s also important to me that I keep in touch with friends, especially those reciprocal relationships which benefit both parties and which have established regular, often daily or near daily, rhythms....

When I have to look at a person and say, “I’m bipolar”, they get a bemused expression on their face as if they’re waiting for the punchline. That’s all there is to it, and believe me, this is not a joke my friend. I can’t think of many more things as infuriating as someone using a mental illness as an insult. You’re going to hear, “Oh my God! Don’t be so bipolar!” much more than you’re going to get, “Wow, do you have to act so diabetic all the time?” The truth is that many people are bipolar and have done horrible things. Things like theft, murder, even rape. That does not mean that all of us are capable of such unspeakable acts. Hollywood doesn’t help matters at all. Have you ever been using one of the movie streaming services and caught a glimpse of a film that might be interesting? Sure, many people have. How many times have you clicked on the description of that film and discovered that the lead in the story is a horribly insane person, and you guessed it . . . bipolar. What...

At the end of April I realized May would be Mental Health Month. I looked forward to seeing loving energy and attention being brought to those of us who struggle. Inside, my heart leapt. It wanted to contribute. It dawned on me that I could use my words and be vulnerable about things I deal with. I hesitated a bit because frankly that is scary and I would have to be brave. Here are all 31 of my posts gathered in one place. You can click the title of each one to see where I posted it originally on Facebook, and the comments it generated. Fran   Here’s my bit ‪#‎mentalhealthmonth‬ may 1 may is mental health awareness month.. more mind full more heart full less hurt full be.. ‪#‎endthestigma Here’s my bit ‪#‎mentalhealthmonth‬ may 2 Not sure how many of you have noticed, but I have not been posting much lately. When I am not strong I have few words and little faith. I withdraw because I feel no one cares about those more vulnerable. I work hard to stay strong but am ...

At the end of April I realized May would be Mental Health Month. I looked forward to seeing loving energy and attention being brought to those of us who struggle. Inside, my heart leapt. It wanted to contribute. It dawned on me that I could use my words and be vulnerable about things I deal with. I hesitated a bit because frankly that is scary and I would have to be brave. The first ten posts are here . Days eleven through twenty are here . You can click the title of each one to see where I posted it originally on Facebook, and the comments it got there. Fran   Here’s my bit ‪#‎mentalhealthmonth‬ may 21 Invisible illness doesn’t just mean you have an illness that can’t be seen, it means friends disappear and then you do.. ‪#‎endthestigma‬ Here’s my bit ‪#‎mentalhealthmonth‬ may 22 Sitting on my favorite bench on the back shore letting the ocean get inside me.. Taking responsibility. Taking strength. Early on I stopped blaming everyone and everything for my i...