Gum on My Shoe

Falling each year on July 24, International Self-Care Day is an opportunity to promote self-care as a vital part of our health and wellbeing. The date (represented as 24/7 in most parts of the world, 7/24 in the US) reminds us that self-care is important twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. What Is Self-Care? Self-care is one of those terms that’s difficult to define, not least because it can mean different things to different people. I find the following definition of self-care by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) helpful. Self-care means taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical health and mental health. When it comes to your mental health, self-care can help you manage stress, lower your risk of illness, and increase your energy. Even small acts of self-care in your daily life can have a big impact. Self-care looks different for everyone, and it is important to find what you need and enjoy. It may take trial an...

When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive — to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love. — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations A few weeks ago I was on one of my regular video calls with Fran. It was seven o’clock in the morning for her. Midday for me, three thousand miles away on the opposite side of the Atlantic. Fran described her morning routine. Afterwards, I captured a few notes, knowing I’d want to explore the idea further. Blog post: How I Start My Day. Inspired by Fran describing her early morning activities. Her start is gentle, flowing, all quiet movement. Plumping her pillows and making her bed when she gets up. Putting her coffee machine on. Turning on her fairy lights. A twenty second pause as she turns on her artificial fish tank and watches their dance. Collecting her coffee. Moving to the couch for our first call of the day. Mine is nowhere near as relaxed or contemplative. I smile at that final line in my notes. I’d hesita...

TW: Mention of food and eating disorders

TW: Mention of suicide

Foreword /ˈfɔːwəːd/ Noun: a short introduction to a book, typically by a person other than the author. Would you mind writing a foreword for me? I was happy and proud earlier this year when my friend Aimee Wilson invited me to write the foreword for her new book You’re NOT Disordered: The Ultimate Wellbeing Guide for Bloggers . It was a great honour and responsibility, and something I took very seriously. I remember when Fran and I were looking for someone to write the foreword for our book High Tide, Low Tide: The Caring Friend’s Guide to Bipolar Disorder . It was important to find someone we trusted, who also had relevant experience and standing. For Aimee to extend me that degree of trust meant a great deal, not least because I knew how important her writing in general — and this book in particular — was to her. I’d reviewed Aimee’s previous book Everything Disordered: A Practical Guide to Blogging but this was different and I took care to do the very best job I could f...

I see you. I see your strength and courage, your hesitations and fears. I see the way you love others, and your struggle to love yourself. I see how hard you work to grow, and your dedication to heal. (Scott Stabile) A couple of years ago in I’m Proud of You: Four Words That Mean So Much I talked about feeling proud of other people and ourselves. Picking up on that theme, I’d like to share six times I’ve felt proud in the past week. 1. Completing my blog post for World Mental Health Day World Mental Health Day falls each year on October 10 and I’m happy (and proud!) to say I finished my blog post early this year. That was partly because I’d been invited to write something for WMHD for the disability network at work (shout out to Debbie for inviting me to contribute!) and I needed to submit in plenty of time. A slightly modified version will go up here on our blog too, so getting it finished this week means I’m ahead of the game here too. No spoilers, but the piece is sl...

As regular readers will know, I recently bought a new pair of glasses . I couldn’t be happier but there were a few issues at first. New glasses can lead to headaches until your eyes adjust. The frames sit differently on my face too and I had some pain across the bridge of my nose as they settled into place. They’re fine now but for the first week or two I occasionally reverted to wearing my old glasses for a few hours. Doing so was a trade-off between seeing clearly, and seeing less clearly but with less discomfort. It got me thinking about how life is often a compromise between caring for some aspects of our health and wellbeing at the expense of others. The trick is not to ignore any one aspect for so long so that it becomes critical. It’s an ongoing challenge to keep all my plates spinning, to borrow an analogy from my friend Maya. If you’re unfamiliar with the reference, check out this video of plate spinning maestro Erich Brenn. My plates are many and varied but I can grou...

Artificial Intelligence (AI) is a hot topic these days, so I thought I’d check it out. I downloaded an app called AI Chat and began giving it writing prompts. After a few interesting but fairly generic results, I decided to request something more specific. I chose a quotation from The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien which I’d been working with in another context. Here is the writing prompt, exactly as I presented it to AI Chat. Write a 1200 word blog post relating to mental health, inspired by the JRR Tolkien quotation “Tell me, who are you alone, yourself and nameless?” Include a title for the blog post optimised for SEO. I haven’t edited the resulting article in any way. Exploring the Depths of Mental Health: Who Are You, Alone, Yourself, and Nameless? J.R.R. Tolkien, the beloved author of The Lord of the Rings , once asked the question: “Who are you, alone, yourself, and nameless?” This introspective query, while seemingly simple, is imbued with profound dept...

By Janet Coburn December is National Family Caregivers Month, so it seemed like a good time to talk about caregiving. In my view, there are three kinds of caregiving: giving care, receiving care and self-care. Caregiving Caregiving is not an easy task, no matter whether you’re a family member or a professional. With an uncommunicative person such as one with depression, it practically takes telepathy. At times it seems impossible to know what kind of care is needed. A hug? Encouragement? Alone time? Help with chores? A listening ear? My husband, who is my principal caregiver, does all those things for me. One thing about caregiving that I learned from my parents is that caregivers need recognition, too. My mother took care of my father all through the years of the illness that killed him. He wasn’t mentally ill, but his physical needs were many. Once my mother came to me and asked if she was doing a good job of caring for him. Of course, I reassured her. The thing is, objective...

Some time ago, my friend Liz Kay wrote a blog post about a “motivational” quote she’d come across that struck her as particularly unhelpful and inappropriate. I recommend checking out her post . It’s a great example of how an idea, suggestion, or piece of advice , can be interpreted very differently, depending on your personal history, lived experience, and situation. Something similar happened to me the other day. For several years I’ve followed the Twitter account of author and entrepreneur Marsha Wright . I especially like the messages and memes that are shared every Sunday under her #ThinkBIGSundayWithMarsha hashtag. I often participate by tweeting a quote or message with that hashtag; either a quotation from our book or something by other writers. I also check the hashtag feed and retweet content I find interesting or relevant. Some of it is too upbeat, even for me (I well remember Fran calling me pathologically positive not too long after we became friends — and it wasn’...

This post was inspired by a recent conversation with my friend Brynn. I was talking about the piece I was working on at the time; a collection of articles on self-care . She asked, “Do you take your own advice?” I paused before answering. “Sometimes! You know, that’s such a great question. No one has ever asked me that before.” I knew it deserved more than a fleeting response, and resolved to explore it further. This article is my reply to Brynn, and anyone else who’s ever wondered if people who share their wisdom publically ever take their own advice. What Kind of Advice Are We Talking About? I’ll start by saying I don’t consider myself in the advice business. I’m wary of offering advice to anyone unless it’s been specifically asked for. For the purpose of this article I’m going to use the term as a shorthand for “ideas, suggestions, wisdom, and guidance.” I’ll focus on the contents of our book High Tide, Low Tide: The Caring Friend’s Guide to Bipolar Disorder and this blog, b...

self care is hard. it is not just face masks and bath bombs. it is crying, getting out of bed, sticking to your goals, allowing yourself to open up to others, not staying at home, getting rid of negative ppl. don’t believe social media’s false definition of self care. it is more. (@soignevenus / twitter) In the third in our series of themed posts , I’ve selected articles from our backlist which cover various aspects of self-care. The World Health Organization defines self-care as “the ability of individuals, families, and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and to cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a healthcare provider.” I prefer the longer but far more accessible description by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Self-care means taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical health and mental health. When it comes to your mental health, self-care can help you manage st...