Gum on My Shoe

It’s easier to be there for someone if you understand what they’re going through. But how can you understand if you’ve never been there yourself ? That’s the situation I found myself in when I met my best friend Fran for the first time in 2011. Fran lives with three chronic health conditions I’d never experienced and knew nothing about: bipolar disorder, chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS/ME), and fibromyalgia. Being her friend didn’t mean I had to become an expert in any of these but I wanted to learn as much as I could, so I could be there for her as effectively as possible. I’m sharing my education journey in the hope it might help someone in a similar position. I’ll focus on bipolar disorder but the principles apply no matter what mental or physical health condition your friend or loved one lives with. It’s also relevant to other lived experience including abuse, bereavement, discrimination, self-harm, stigma, suicidality, or trauma. Whatever your friend’s situation, appr...

It’s never about belonging to someone, it’s about belonging together . — Renée Ahdieh Searching for a blog topic the other day, I chanced on some notes from an exchange with Fran in March 2019. It was a time of considerable uncertainty for me, and the snippet arose in a conversation about my options and needs. “I think, Fran, underneath much of this, I have an unmet need to feel I belong.” “The reality is you do belong, everybody does. You just don’t feel it yet.” A great deal has changed since then, but I never addressed this lack of belonging. There are hints scattered here and there in notes, blog posts, and journal entries, but nothing approaching an epiphany. Until now. Reading those old lines again, it came to me that belonging is a longing to be. No more, no less than that. A. Longing. To. Be. But be what? That will be different for everyone. A longing to be successful, perhaps. To be secure. Safe. Loved. Wealthy. What am I longing to be? The first things that spring to ...

When did you start feeling like a fraud? Fran asked me that question recently. It’s not exactly that I feel a fraud. I’ve never passed myself off as other than I am or claimed knowledge and experience I don’t have. But I have used that knowledge and experience to involve myself in groups and activities intended for people with lived experience of mental illness, which I do not have. Maybe it’s more a case of impostor syndrome than fraud. According to Scientific American, “ Impostor Syndrome is a pervasive feeling of self-doubt, insecurity, or fraudulence despite often overwhelming evidence to the contrary. It strikes smart, successful individuals. It often rears its head after an especially notable accomplishment, like admission to a prestigious university, public acclaim, winning an award, or earning a promotion.” Putting smart and successful to one side, that description is a close fit for how I’ve been feeling, especially the university example. Last October I enrolled at...

A couple of months ago I attended a Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) Awareness workshop at Newcastle Recovery College Collective (ReCoCo). The two day workshop covered the purpose and structure of Wellness Recovery Action Plans, and invited us to consider drawing up our own. In this article I’m sharing the WRAP I put together after attending the workshop, with a few changes I’ve made since then and minor edits for privacy. I make no claim that this is “how to do a WRAP” but it works for me. I will update it as my needs and situation change, and as my understanding of WRAP grows. Wellness Recovery Action Plan Martin Baker, January 2019   My Wellness Tools These things help keep me well. Calls and chat with Fran and other trusted friends Diary / journaling Taking regular me time Coffee shops Walking Blogging Listening to music Meditation Planning / calendar (help with staying organised)   What I’m Like When I Am Well When I feel like this I am do...

Disclaimer: Wellness Recovery Action Plan® and WRAP® are registered trademarks. All rights are reserved by the copyright holder, Advocates for Human Potential, Inc. I wrote recently about how I came to enrol at Newcastle Recovery College (ReCoCo) and a little of what the college means to me . I have also written about the first class I took, which was on self-harm awareness . In this article I describe my experiences attending the Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) Awareness workshop. The following description is taken from the ReCoCo website : WRAP AWARENESS A workshop for people who experience mental health challenges and for those who care about them. It promotes a structured approach to developing a range of strategies to support self-management in recovery from distress. WRAP® (Wellness Recovery Action Plan) is a plan designed and managed by you and is designed to: Decrease and prevent intrusive or troubling feelings and behaviours Increase personal empowerment I...

As I described elsewhere , I recently enrolled at Newcastle Recovery College (ReCoCo) and have attended the first of several courses I intend taking there. Last week ReCoCo held their Hallow Wellbeing fundraising event and I went along to help out, using one of my three volunteering days from work. I should note that I’m not an official trained ReCoCo volunteer, I was simply there to help out on the day as best I could, and to have fun! The latter aim was definitely achieved! I’ve never considered myself the sort of person who does fancy dress, but as I’ve written before sometimes it’s good to challenge the stories we tell ourselves, especially those that begin "I’m not the kind of person who..." With that in mind I allowed myself to be talked into being made up for the occasion (thanks, Vikki!). My main concern was that the heavy black and white face paint might not come off. It did (eventually!) but I think I was still sporting a little hair glitter into the offi...

Image credit: Sharon McCutcheon / Unsplash I wrote recently about how I came to enrol at Newcastle Recovery College (ReCoCo) and a little of what the college means to me and my friend Vikki Beat. Vikki is a student, volunteer, and course facilitator at ReCoCo. The first class I enrolled for was a self-harm awareness session led by Steve O’Driscoll who I first met several years ago when I began volunteering for Time to Change. The following description is taken from the ReCoCo website : A 2.5 hour session delivered by Steve O’Driscoll who self-harmed for over 20 years and managed to overcome his problems and now shares his experiences to help and support others and also facilitates a group in Newcastle to support people who self-harm. The session is very relaxed and there is plenty of opportunity to ask those unanswered questions around a subject that is still taboo to many in society. I arrived at Anderson House in plenty of time and made myself a cup of coffee wh...

By Martin Baker and Vikki Beat Image credit: Alisdair Cameron Newcastle Recovery College Collective (ReCoCo) is a joint venture between various organisations in the north east of England, “by and for service users and carers. [It is] a place where service users are able to make connections and develop their knowledge and skills in relation to recovery.” I first heard about ReCoCo through folk I’ve met volunteering with Time to Change . I was intrigued and checked their website out a couple of times but hadn’t taken it any further until this July when my friend Vikki Beat invited me to attend the end of term party . The event also marked the college’s relocation from Broadacre House to its new home just down the road in Anderson House. I didn’t know many people at the party but I felt very welcome. I even had a dance! I remember thinking it would be great to work more closely with the college in some way but I couldn’t see how that might work as sessions are held during the wee...

Today — Saturday, May 19, 2018 — is the day of the Royal Wedding. I wish Harry and Meghan well in their life together but I brought myself out to the coast to avoid the media, and social media, onslaught. It’s just not something I feel a part of. Here at Tynemouth there is calm and space and air and sky and sea. And a bench where I can sit and write. A week ago I was also writing. Not here but in the café at the city library. At the suggestion of my boss Judith I was drafting a piece about Mental Health Awareness Week for the corporate blog at the company I work for. I submitted the article on Monday morning. It was published Tuesday lunchtime and to be honest I’ve been blown away by the response. It’s been picked up by management up to and including our CEO. I have a meeting next week with one of the senior managers to explore how I can get involved with the company’s mental health initiatives. This week has also seen me out twice socially. That’s not a typo — TWICE! Both eve...

This is bigger than us, than you, than this organisation or that service. Let’s park our petty differences, our proprietary selfishness, and be OPENM;NDED. — Alisdair Cameron, Recovery College Collective On Wednesday April 18 I had the pleasure of attending the OPENM;NDED mental health event at The Hancock pub in Newcastle. An evening of meaningful and local music, poetry and performance centred around shared experiences and common stories of mental ill-health. By creatively exploring the topic through music and poetry, we can begin to open up the conversation on mental health, de-stigmatise the topic and encourage recovery and resilience for those experiencing trauma and distress in our community. The event was organised by OPENM;NDED in support of ReCoCo (Recovery College Collective). OPENM;NDED is a group of cross-disciplinary cultural managers, practitioners and researchers brought together through study at Northumbria University. ReCoCo is a joint venture between vario...