Gum on My Shoe

Some of you will have seen these fun (and scarily accurate!) emoticons of us, popping up here and there on our social media. A friend asked Fran what it was all about: “As you know, Marty and I are writing a book about how to be friends with one who lives with bipolar disorder, and we are actively bringing awareness to mental illness and to reducing stigma. Skype has invited us to be Moment Maker Ambassadors in the Social Good category. They made these cartoons for us for fun and to celebrate.” The Skype Moment Maker Ambassador program brings together people from all over the world who use the Skype voice, messaging and video call application in fun, innovative, creative or socially meaningful ways. Living 3,000 miles apart as we do, technology is vitally important to us. Without the internet and social media we would never have met and I could not support Fran as I do if we were unable to keep in ongoing contact. It is not too much to say that the interne...

This article first featured in a very successful fundraising campaign for Maine-based mental health non-profit Family Hope ( www.familyhopeme.org ). The power of family and friends’ encouragement and support when someone has a mental health issue cannot be overestimated. Even though Marty and Fran live 3,000 miles apart, their friendship has blossomed over the past four years. Many of us don’t know what to say to someone who may be living with the effects of their illness, but the truth is we don't have to know the “right” thing to say. Marty’s gift to Fran has been his calm, constant presence, his willingness to “be there” for her no matter what. Please take a few minutes to read about these two amazing people and the power of their friendship. Donna Betts, Executive Director, Family Hope Kindness is the key Marty and I met four years ago on a mutual friend’s Facebook wall. She wanted to take her life. We didn’t want t...

I reached the pinnacle of a successful engineering career after a chaotic childhood, a rape, a cult experience, a violent marriage - only to plunge headlong into losing everything I’d gained. Mate, family, home, work, dog gone. Health gone. 1994. Major depression. 34 years old. I no longer knew who I was. I did not know how to go on. Frantically clawing my way I tried to regain my health, spending over $10k, desperately following any advice given. It didn’t work. Nothing worked. I lived in the Maine woods for a year. No running water. No electricity. No TV. No Radio. No books. No journal. Only dancing naked in the rain, snow angels under a full moon, watching frost freeze on the window pane. I was sleeping but no beauty. Twenty hours of unrefreshing sleep a day found my baseline chronic fatigue syndrome. The pain of fibromyalgia remained unrelieved. The cherry wallpaper was no consolation. Maddening. I moved to an island. Peaks Island. Living in the old generator shack that once ran...

By Moody Mu Like many people, I have a friend who has depression and I have found supporting her very challenging and stressful. Other people do not always understand what it is like and the different pressures we face. I have often searched for how to cope, what to do, and other peoples’ experiences, yet I have found very little useful, real or relevant information. I started my blog to share my experiences and provide a very honest perspective on what it is like having a friend with depression. My blogs track my journey from discovering my friend was suicidal, coping with her challenging emotions/behaviours, ethical dilemmas I have faced, and much more. I hope that my story is relatable and helps if you are going through similar experiences. Backstory When I was 14 I met my best friend at school. We became inseparable and I was closer to her than anyone else. She moved away in her early 20’s and our friendship remained as strong as ever. As we did not live close to each...

Beautiful day.. Many folks out on the street and in the market.. I keep looking for those I know.. But they are not here.. They took their life.. All I can think is how could I have helped them stay.. How can we all help them stay.. The world hurts when one leaves.. I hurt.. Fran

I periodically check bipolar symptoms lists to remind me of what exactly I am dealing with. It’s not about labels, it’s about understanding. This brain disease fluctuates continuously. Periods of mania can last a day or years. Same with depression. The percentage of wellness to illness I experience changes moment by moment. There is an ill part of me and there is a well part of me. Underneath it all is a place that can’t be touched by anything mortal. It’s when I forget I have an illness that I get into the most trouble. Awareness is critical. Those with bipolar disorder often have instances of extreme happiness or sadness that are unusual or unpredictable. How can you tell this from a run-of-the-mill mood swing? Let’s look at some symptoms. Manic symptoms Intense happiness or joy; feeling “high”; overly excitable. Fast speech; racing thoughts (person is hard to keep up with and may switch topics or thought patterns frequently). Impulsive; ins...

Like any good friends Fran and I disagree from time to time. We crash heads and get grumpy with each other, but we neither run from nor ignore our issues. We are not afraid of them. We each acknowledge the other’s point of view with respect. And then Fran gets her way! //joke// More generally, we recognise that disagreement needn’t always be hurtful, nor is hurting something necessarily to be avoided. I find it unhelpful when people hold back from sharing with me for fear of hurting me, or do the big “sorry, sorry” thing if I share that I am feeling hurt or disturbed by what has arisen between us. Such responses invalidate my need to feel what is happening, and close down the space within which both of us might explore and grow. As Fran messaged me earlier today, “disagreement can provide opportunity for growth and the stretching, openness and deepening of a relationship.” It is a beautiful thing... the finding of grace in the midst of chaos. Marty ...

Reblogged from purplepersuasion.wordpress.com with permission of the author. I asked for help I asked for help when I was 12. I looked, alone, in my middle school library at a teenage health book. It told me that depression is an illness. It is real. You can be helped. It took me days to summon up the courage find the words to say, “I think that I’m depressed.” “Everyone’s depressed!” was the response. I left it there. I asked for help when I was 13, 15, already suicidal, finding school a torment. “All teenagers have mood swings.” “It may be PMS, so track your periods.” I asked for help when I was 17. I got propranolol. Whatever that meant. I didn’t feel it did much, but someone cared. I asked for help when I was 20. The psychiatrist, the first I’d met, portrayed me as a liar and implied that I might drink. He sneered at my choices of university of course of fiancé and gave me fluoxetine, which sent me ...

When I am depressed, I am mean, edgy, negative, and argumentative. It is nothing personal. It is not even me. It is mental illness. My close friends know this and are full of support, understanding, and forgiveness. It is a raging storm. We can only wait for it to pass and hope for limited damage. At this time I am completely unable to do simple tasks. Brushing my teeth is herculean. As is eating, cleaning, dressing. There is no floor. And it feels eternal.. ~fjh

Stigma Fighters Anthology volume 1 , edited by Sarah Fader, is available on Kindle and print. Amazon.com: Kindle / print Amazon.co.uk: Kindle / print This book is important. It has the potential to change lives. It has the potential to save lives. In the Introduction, mental health speaker and advocate Gabe Howard says, “We hope reading our stories will give you a glimpse into our lives and inspire you to move forward in your own life or inspire you to support someone you love.” He is speaking to me: one of the “well ones”. I do not myself live with mental illness, but like many of us — indeed like all of us if we only knew it or opened our eyes to notice — I know many who live with the realities of mental illness every day of their lives. Sarah Fader, founder of Stigma Fighters and herself a contributor to the anthology expresses this so well: I’m your neighbour, I’m sitting next to you on the train, I’m talking ...