What Is It Like to Volunteer with Time to Change?

I recently volunteered with Time to Change, the UK’s largest mental health campaign, at Northern Pride on Newcastle’s Town Moor. This was the third time I’ve volunteered. The first was at Newcastle Mental Health Day 2016. The second was at last year’s Northern Pride.

It was a little after 11 a.m. when I arrived at the Health Zone marquee and met up with Angela Slater, Time to Change Community Equalities Coordinator for the North East. I’ve known Angela a couple of years now, and it was great to catch up with her and the other volunteers (Time to Change calls us Champions). Angela introduced me to a friend of hers on a nearby sexual health stall, who was dressed for the occasion as Chlamydia, one of the most common sexually transmitted infections in the UK. It made for an interesting photo!

The event proper began around 1 p.m. with the arrival of the parade. We were close to the main entrance and for an hour or so we were really busy! It doesn’t come naturally to me to engage with someone I don’t know, but once I’d chatted to a few people I relaxed into things. I found it helpful to watch how my fellow volunteers went about it, as everyone has their own style and approach.

The folded paper “pick a number” toys (sometimes called origami fortune tellers) were a great conversation starter. Those of a certain age (ahem!) remember them from days of yore; I was surprised that many younger folk also knew what they were! The flaps hid simple suggestions to connect with others about their—or your own—mental health and wellbeing. One invited you to text or call someone you know. When that came up for two people I was talking to, they immediately pulled out their mobile phones and set about connecting! We handed quite a few of the toys out as giveaways, which kept us busy replenishing the stock.

Of the people I spoke to, the consensus seemed to be that stigma and discrimination remain very much part of people’s experience, but that society is generally more open about discussing mental health. A few said younger folk are more open about discussing it than older generations. Several mentioned sports stars and celebrities who have spoken out about mental health, including the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Prince Harry whose Heads Together campaign combats the stigma surrounding mental illness. Also well-known artists and performers whose lives and deaths have brought mental health to public attention.

Events like this remind me that each of us has a unique story to share. It was encouraging to hear people talk positively of the support they’ve received from friends, relatives, colleagues and professionals. I had one really good conversation about mental health in the work place. Others shared their struggles with mental health, with stigma and discrimination, or with support services, in some cases stretching back many years.

Roughly half those I asked had heard of Time to Change before. Angela told me there are two major media campaigns a year: one in February for National Time To Talk Day and another in October for World Mental Health Day (October 10 each year). Time to Change is often engaged by production companies working with mental health story lines in TV soaps and dramas.

Time to Change volunteers are under no obligation to share more than we want to, but I’m always happy to talk about how I met Fran, our mutually supportive friendship, and the book we wrote together. After all, that’s what led me into the mental health arena in the first place. Some people took away our leaflets and contact cards, and I was delighted to connect with a few later via social media.

That’s what I love about an event like this. It’s all about connection. One on one, human connection. Sharing our stories, experiences, concerns, hopes and journeys. I invited several of the Time to Change volunteers, and some of the people I met at the event, to share their impressions of the day.

I love taking Time to Change to Newcastle Pride each year because of the passionate, friendly committed Champions and how open and engaged the public are. It’s so important to talk about mental health with all of the communities within our region.
—Angela Slater

Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Curiosity is the path to knowledge, and knowledge is the power to shed light and overcome obstacles. Open up. Educate. Spread the word. Don’t suffer alone.
—Vikki

The people at the Time to Change booth were extremely informative on what they do. I felt understood when I spoke about my mental health which is extremely important to me. Everyone was very friendly and I went away with lots of information and things that I can check out.
—Loretta

Mental health is a very important issue within the lgbtqia community and it was great to start so many open and positive conversations about mental health at Pride this year. As always, I had a blast!
—Alexandria Readman

The Health Tent at Newcastle Pride was a positive, supportive and encouraging area. The Time to Change stand had so many happy, friendly faces all there to help people. There because they care. Great to see Marty as a TTC Champion! Newcastle Pride outdid itself this year, a great day for all regardless of age, race, disability, orientation—keep it up!
—Sharon Race

It was great to be amongst all my close friends and make new ones. The atmosphere was electric outside. You always feel safe and happy at Pride. I take pride being a part of Pride. It’s a special part of history and joyous!
—Carol Robinson

If you would like to volunteer with Time to Change, or want to know more about their programmes, you can sign up for free with no obligation on their website.

Marty

 

Guest post: A Friend’s Perspective on Bipolar Disorder, by Dani Gallagher

I don’t have a mental illness…at least not a diagnosed one. But that’s not to say mental illness hasn’t affected my life. My best friend was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and I saw first-hand the difficulties that came with the diagnosis. You might assume that these difficulties were from her internal struggle, trying to cope with the illness. And part of that is true…years after her diagnosis, she still struggles to stay balanced. As hard as that has been, the struggle to get help seemed even greater.

It took a long time for my friend Mary (I’m not using her real name) to get help. I knew her long before she started taking medication for bipolar disorder; she was in denial for years. She didn’t have too many close friends, as she was very moody. Some days, she would be full of life and spontaneous, eager to try new things and take on the world. Other days, she would cancel our plans out of the blue. Some of the time, she would give me a fake explanation. “I have to take Max to the vet,” she would say, knowing that I wouldn’t call her on the bluff. Other times, she just wouldn’t show up.

But every so often, she would be honest with me. On a few occasions, she explained that she was just so jaded with her life that she couldn’t get out of bed. That it all seemed like such a waste of time. The first time she really opened up to me about these feelings, I started to suspect that something was wrong.

As her mood swings became more apparent, I wondered how I could talk to Mary about the possibility that she might be bipolar. No matter how many times I had the conversation in my head, I couldn’t say the words out loud. I’d seen how they portray bipolar people on the TV and in movies; they’re shown as maniacs with no regard for the people around them. Of course Mary would be furious if I told her my opinion; it would be as if I were telling her she was crazy.

The day came when I could no longer be silent about Mary’s behavior. One day, she called me sobbing, telling me that she couldn’t go on like this. When I went to see her, she told me that she wanted to end her life. That was the moment that I knew I might lose my friend forever. I had already armed myself with knowledge of bipolar disorder and I started the conversation that I had gone through in my mind so many times.

Mary was upset with me at first. She thought I was a bad friend for even thinking that something was wrong with her. She even told me to stay away for a while. But she soon saw the reason behind what I said. She realized that her lows were so low…and her highs were so high. She recognized that her behavior was erratic, that she made some major life-changing decisions on a whim. And once she realized that, she went for help and was able to start treatment for her illness. She understood that none of it was her fault, and that she would always have my full support.

This isn’t a fairy-tale story. Mary has had some tough times, thanks to the stigma associated with mental illness. When people find out that she has Bipolar Disorder, they look at her funny. She’s kept it a secret at work because she’s afraid of being passed up for promotions. Every day is a struggle, but now Mary can see the beauty in life.

If there wasn’t such a strong stigma attached to mental illness, maybe Mary would have gone for help sooner. Maybe I would have had the courage to start the conversation sooner. Maybe other people would have the courage to do the same. But as long as there’s a stigma attached to a diagnosis, people will deny that something is wrong.

 

About the Author

Dani Gallagher is a writer for Wearable Therapy by Tokii, an advocacy-wear clothing company designed to get the conversation started on issues like mental illness. They also spread awareness about these issues through their blog. You can check out more on their Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest.

 

For Ever Amber: Pictures at an Exhibition

Those who live their lives to the full have no need of immortality.
Sirkka-Liisa Konttinen

Yesterday I visited the Laing Art Gallery in Newcastle upon Tyne, and discovered For Ever Amber, an exhibition of documentary photography, mostly black and white and primarily of the North East in the 70s and 80s.

“Opening up an extraordinary documentary narrative, this exhibition is the first major account of the AmberSide Collection started by a group of like-minded students at Regent Street Polytechnic in London in 1968. With a resolve to collect documents of working class culture, Amber Collective moved to the North East of England the following year in 1969 and in 1977 opened Side Gallery where it remains today.”

The collection of photographs and videos affected me deeply. The following is excerpted from my chat conversation with Fran afterwards.

Marty:
Wonderful exhibition of photography. Local documentary photos. Gritty, real. Real life.. Real people.. Hopelessness.. Poverty.. Unemployment.. Dirt.. It’s depressing.. But also there is hope there.. That life goes on no matter what.. Not an easy exhibition for me. There is nowhere to hide. It is human. Humanity doing what it does.

Fran:
What do you feel? Mad glad sad afraid?

Marty:
Ignorant. Naive. Inadequate. Privileged. But also that I am these days a little less of those things. That it’s up to me if I want to change. It is in my power to do so.

Fran:
Your experience of this might make a good blog.

Transform yourself and you transform others.. ~fjh
Awareness is already a change.. ~fjh
When one awakens one can’t go back.. ~fjh
Transform yourself and others transform.. ~fjh
Perception is reality.. ~fjh

Marty:
Hey you’re pretty good at this! Yes, a blog could be a good idea. What I did get was a strong sense of how these many photographers were each telling their own small story. Together they were showing a much greater truth than any of them could have done alone. Echoes of what we are doing with Gum on My Shoe and the many many others telling their stories. Every one is a pebble tossed in the stream.

Fran:
Yep

Marty:
I was also thinking back to what we were talking about the other day. How some people build walls (physical and figurative) to keep them and their family safe, keep the big bad world at bay. I did it differently. I spent most of my life turning a blind eye to the big bad world. Both eyes. The challenge for me is to open my eyes, and not to build walls.

Fran:
With compassion for all..

Marty:
Yes. It’s natural to want to protect those closest to us. That’s not a bad impulse. But it can lead to “us/them” thinking. Demonisation. Fear. Walls. Asylums. Stigma. The photos mostly showed the working class, the dispossessed. Those who the establishment would demonise.

Fran:
People are afraid of losing stuff and family and health and life.. They sadly think they are in control.. However the universe is, not them. Love like that is not a free true love.. It’s grabby and possessive..

Marty:
They are not the enemy though. To imagine they are is just erecting more walls.

Fran:
Maybe not.. Maybe they are living the lives they were meant to.. Maybe they are put here to be teachers so we can grow..

Marty:
I’m ill at ease with the idea that things happen to us with a purpose, eg to teach us lessons. Seems to me “shit happens”, and we can choose to see and use it in different ways. We are free to see it as something to learn from. We are equally free to not learn.

Fran:
It is not our job to open other people’s eyes.. Only our own..

Marty:
Exactly..

---

For Ever Amber is on at the Laing Gallery until Saturday 19 September 2015.

 

Grandma’s Biscuits, by Jen Jenasaurus Wake

Readers of Marty and Fran’s excellent blog will already know about how they negate the geographical distance between them. But how can that be done when one of the people involved experiences anxiety about using the phone? With a little imagination, decent wifi and a mobile phone or tablet anything is possible.

I tweeted the other day that I had all the ingredients to make Grandma’s Biscuits but that my thirteen year old daughter didn’t want to bake. (I have no idea what the biscuits are actually called, but I used to make them with my grandma when I was a little girl and that is what they have always been known as.)

My friend, who blogs as mentalhound, tweeted back that she would love to bake with me — except she lives nearly two hundred miles away. Well, if she wanted to bake with me, I wasn’t about to let distance get in the way!

I tweeted her a picture of all the ingredients, and told her to wash her hands and put a pinny (apron) on. There then followed a series of tweets with me taking a photo of each step and asking her to stir, or mix, or roll the batter into balls before putting them in the oven — she did an excellent, if virtual, job.

Finally, we had finished biscuits. It didn't matter that only I baked, only I washed up and only I could eat them, we had fun doing it.

It isn’t about being in the same physical space — either geographically or via a medium such as Skype or FaceTime — it’s about being in the same place mentally. And, for that hour, we were. It made no difference that it was all done through pictures and tweets: we baked biscuits together. And, if I may say so myself, they were very yummy indeed!

Thanks for reading along. You can find me at: jenasauruswake.wordpress.com.

Jen

 

Skype Ambassadors for Social Good

Some of you will have seen these fun (and scarily accurate!) emoticons of us, popping up here and there on our social media. A friend asked Fran what it was all about:

“As you know, Marty and I are writing a book about how to be friends with one who lives with bipolar disorder, and we are actively bringing awareness to mental illness and to reducing stigma. Skype has invited us to be Moment Maker Ambassadors in the Social Good category. They made these cartoons for us for fun and to celebrate.”

The Skype Moment Maker Ambassador program brings together people from all over the world who use the Skype voice, messaging and video call application in fun, innovative, creative or socially meaningful ways.

Living 3,000 miles apart as we do, technology is vitally important to us. Without the internet and social media we would never have met and I could not support Fran as I do if we were unable to keep in ongoing contact. It is not too much to say that the internet and social media saves lifes. It certainly enriches lives.

Skype is one of many applications we use. There are other voice and webcam products, of course, and we have tried a few (watch this space for an upcoming blog detailing the applications we use most), but Skype is the one we keep coming back to and use every day. We believe it says something about the company’s priorities that Skype invited us to join their Ambassador program.

There are around 200 Ambassadors in twenty categories: Acting, Art & Design, Beauty, Comedy, Education, Family, Fashion, Film, Food, Gaming, Innovation, Music, Pets, Photography, Sci-Fi, Social Good, Sports, Tech, Travel, Yoga.

We are proud to join fellow Social Good Ambassadors Tyson Mayr, Claire Jenkins, Roshell Rosemond, Kimberly Brown, Jennifer Morilla — and mother/daughter duo Marla and Kasha Slavner who also joined this week.

I caught up with Marla and Kasha on their adventures for the Global Sunrise Project, a documentary film and book of short stories on global citizenship in action, told through the eyes of a teenager. I asked what being a Skype Ambassador means to them.

“We travel with purpose to connect community, and use Skype on a daily basis to facilitate many of our conversations around social good. It just made perfect sense to show the world how we can connect in a meaningful way and inspire people to take action on issues they care about.”

You can follow Marla and Kasha’s journey through their website/blog and social media channels: Twitter; Facebook; Instagram; YouTube; Pinterest.

So what happens next for us?

We’re not sure! Skype have a number of ways for people to get involved, and we intend to make the most of these opportunities to engage as widely and fully as possible — not just with Skype itself but more importantly with like-minded and like-hearted people wherever they are. Connections. Ripples. That is what it’s all about really.