MOVE YOU YOUR WAY: A Few Thoughts on Movement and Self-Care for Mental Health Awareness Week

We tend to forget that baby steps still move you forward.
— Unknown

On the evening of my birthday back in March I was talking with my friend and fellow mental health blogger Aimee Wilson. Amongst other things we discussed our ideas for Mental Health Awareness Week and its theme of moving more for our mental health. I found it ironic given that I’d just posted an article – The Joy of Missing Out: Not Doing Things Is a Thing I Do Now – in which I shared how I no longer had much interest in “going out and doing things.” With a few exceptions I prefer to spend my personal time sitting in my favourite coffee shop, writing. Although this wasn’t as beneficial to my physical health as the walking I used to do on a regular basis, it did allow me to think things through and explore whatever was going on for me internally.

The very next day on my way into the office, I was presented with a choice. The second of my two trains was delayed. I could wait half an hour on the platform, take the five-minute train journey, then walk another ten minutes to the office. Or I could opt for a twenty-minute walk. The weather was mild and dry. I had no reason not to take the latter option. As I set off on what, pre-covid, had been a regular and valued part of my daily commute, I thought back to my conversation with Aimee. I smiled. Here I was, choosing to walk. To get a little physical exercise. To move.

I found myself enjoying that weird sense you get when you revisit somewhere you used to know on a regular, even daily, basis. Most things are the same but here and there you notice differences. Changes. In your surroundings, certainly. But in yourself too. I recalled how it was like that after covid. Not only were there changes in the world around me — social distancing, mask-wearing, rules, signage, behaviours — but also changes within me. One of the biggest internal changes was no longer feeling the need to travel far from home, if at all.

Before the pandemic I was in the office five days a week, and almost always walked to and from the train station. I still travel to the office on Wednesdays and Thursdays, but have walked it on no more than a handful of occassions. I have more to carry now, as I need to take my laptop back and forth every day. But that’s not much of a reason. It’s not even much of an excuse.

These thoughts and others were with me as I made my way into the office. I stopped a few times to jot down ideas for this blog post, but mostly I allowed my mind to wander wherever it would. I found myself recalling the people, relationships, and events that had occupied me on my walks in the past. Those twenty minutes had been a useful transition between home and work, as well as affording me a little physical exercise. I’ve not necessarily committed to walking each time I go in to the office, but I enjoyed the experience and may give it a go. I told Aimee later how our conversation had inspired me, not only to take the walk but to explore the theme for MHAW.

A few weeks later while researching an article about mental health non-profit To Write Love On Her Arms I came across one of their t-shirt designs with the following message emblazoned across it in huge letters: LOVE IS THE MOVEMENT. It got me thinking about movement as self-love, self-care. And how self-care isn’t only physical things like going for a walk. It’s taking time and making space for whatever you most need at that moment. The insight helped with one of the problems I’d been having with this year’s theme. The idea that if you’re depressed or anxious or living with some other form of mental health issue, all you need to do is get up and go for a walk. Preferably in nature. In the woods, maybe. Or on the beach. And you’ll be fine. That’s not how the organisers of MHAW intend it, I know, but it’s something I see all too often online.

Physical exercise can be helpful to our mental health, but it’s not the panacea it’s sometimes made out to be. It’s also neither appropriate nor suitable for everyone at all times. Disability, chronic fatigue, insomnia, pain, the utterly debilitating inertia of depression, the lack of safe, affordable access to the outdoors, and any of a hundred other factors can make “get up and go for a walk, you’ll feel better” challenging at best and toxic at worst. Even taking a shower, washing the dishes, or making the bed may be too much on some days.

LOVE IS THE MOVEMENT helped me see that any and all means of self-care are capable of moving us forward. That might include going out for a walk or to the gym, but it also includes meeting a friend for a chat, in person or on the phone. It includes taking that shower or making the bed if you’re up for it. But it equally includes taking your meds, booking an appointment, asking for help, curling up with a book or the TV, or deciding on a day of extreme rest. Anything that takes you from today to tomorrow, from this hour to the next, from this moment to the next moment is meaningful.

So yes, movement is good, but don’t feel pressured to do more than you’re comfortable with, or guilt-tripped into other people’s ideas of what kind of movement is or isn’t valid. Move you, your way.

 

Further Reading

Mental Health Awareness Week 2024 will take place from 13 to 19 May, on the theme of “Movement: Moving more for our mental health.” For more information check out the Mental Health Foundation and Rethink Mental Illness. Also check out our collection of articles we’ve shared for MHAW in previous years, as well as other awareness days and events.

 

Photo by Martin Adams at Unsplash.

 

Practical Self-Care Tips to Help You Crush Life as an Introvert

By Melissa Howard

You’re easily drained from social gatherings. Working with people leaves you depleted, and by the afternoon you can’t wait to get home and curl up with a book. You love your kids to death but crave those few minutes that allow you to decompress once they go to bed. As an introvert, there’s nothing wrong with that, and in fact, you should plan on all that and more.

Keep reading for tips to help you to take better care of your mind, body, and soul so that you can live the life you’re meant to live.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Extroverts

First of all, as an introvert, it’s critical to avoid comparing yourself with other people, especially extroverts. It might not be in your nature to be the life of the party, to be super outgoing in public, or even to be the most ambitious person. And that’s OK!

Comparison will get you nowhere, other than eating up precious energy and making you feel miserable about yourself and the person you’re comparing yourself with. Besides, you would probably be comparing their best traits to your worst traits, so it wouldn’t be an accurate comparison anyway.

Get a Steady Exercise Routine

Yes, exercise is important for introverts, just like it is with anyone else! Find something you love to do, and try to do it four or five days per week. It could be running, cycling, yoga, high-intensity interval training, or any other kind of activity that gets you moving and the endorphins flowing. As Shape explains, consistent exercise will yield lots of physical, mental, and emotional health benefits.

If you plan on exercising solo, it’s essential that you consider your safety. This is when a smartwatch can come in handy. Along with helping you keep track of your health and fitness goals, a smartwatch can help keep you safe in the event of an emergency or injury.

For example, models from the Apple Watch Series have ideal perks for exercising alone, like fall detection and emergency SOS that will contact emergency services if necessary. If you’re looking for more of a budget-friendly model, look to the Tended Protect, which Wareable points out hits a lower price point but still offers fitness tracking and fall detection.

Eat Stuff That’s Good for You

Diet is paramount to self-care. Focus on eating a balanced diet of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, healthy fats, nuts, and seeds. Eat clean when you can, and cut back on sugar, sodium, and processed foods. Your body and mind will thank you for it.

Start and End the Day Strong

As an introvert, you have to make time for yourself. In fact, if you don’t get the time to yourself that you need, you won’t have the energy necessary to live a fulfilled life, and you won’t be able to be fully present for the people who need you most. Introversion is all about recharging through solitude — and there’s no reason to feel guilty about it.

Consider waking up 15 or 30 minutes earlier in the morning to spend time in solitude, whether it’s reading, journaling, meditating or doing something else relaxing. Likewise, make time to wind down in the evenings before bed; a hot bath, listening to soothing music, and doing light stretches can go a long way in helping you fall asleep and stay asleep.

Don’t feel guilty about practicing self-care as an introvert. You and everyone in your life will be better off for it! Remember to stop comparing yourself to more extroverted people, get a consistent exercise routine and healthy diet going, and bookend your day with relaxing activities in solitude. You might be surprised by how much making little changes like these can benefit your well-being.

Photo by Brodie Vissers

About the Author

Every suicide is preventable. After losing her younger brother to suicide, Melissa Howard felt compelled to create Stop Suicide. By providing helpful resources and articles on her website, she hopes to build a lifeline of information.

 

Vital But Often Overlooked Self-Care Practices to Focus on Today

By Brad Krause

What we do on a daily basis to take care of ourselves is the number one determining factor in our overall mental health. Many of us live under unhealthy amounts of stress, financial burdens, and physical and emotional strain from juggling home and professional duties. When we think about self-care, it’s easy to overlook the basics. Here is what you should focus on today.

Muscle Relaxation

We think a lot about chilling out and relaxing (mentally), but we often fail to consider physical relaxation. If you have a demanding job or like to hit the gym regularly, muscle relaxation and massage should be a part of your self-care regimen (the benefits are vast). You don’t have to go out and spend a fortune every week on massages. For example, when it comes to the all-important foot massage, great home models will work just fine.

Focusing on Sleep Quantity and Quality

For many, sleep is just a thing you have to do for the next day to start. Even if you love to sleep, you may value other things — family time, work, TV — more. For better self-care, prioritizing sleep (both quantity and quality) is a must. Most adults need between seven and nine hours per night, and it should be uninterrupted. Focus on setting yourself up for quality sleep — avoid looking at digital screens before bed, do something soothing like taking a bath or reading a book, and try to limit consumption of caffeine, alcohol, and food in the hours before bedtime.

Boost Diet and Energy

Everyone knows the importance of eating a healthy, well-balanced diet. But not everyone considers food to be a form of self-care. If eating healthy is a priority but one that adds to your workload and stress, take the guesswork out of meal planning and sign up for a subscription meal kit or choose one day to prep meals for the rest of the week. And if you’re into smoothies, a good immersion blender provides a compact and affordable way to blend those fruits and veggies without a lot of fuss.

Regardless of your approach, setting yourself up for success ensures you’ll stick to the quality food your body needs to do its job. Sometimes a healthy diet isn’t enough, and you still need key nutrients. A multivitamin can provide you with these nutrients and give you a boost of energy as well.

Stretching and Light Exercise

Exercise gets a lot of attention in the self-care realm. However, just as important for your overall (physical and mental) well-being is stretching. Some exercise routines like yoga and Pilates focus on stretching, but there are plenty of other ways to achieve your stretching goals. Stretching not only improves your flexibility and range of motion, but it also boosts blood flow to your muscles and vital organs (your brain!), helps relieve stress, and improves your posture.

In fact, adding a light exercise routine to your days can go a long way toward preserving your health and introducing some much-needed self-care into your life. Fortunately, there are several ways you can do this, from taking a stroll around the block after dinner to getting the family together for an afternoon bike ride on the weekends. And fortunately for seniors, Medicare Advantage plans offered by companies like Cigna-HealthSpring will give you access to SilverSneakers, which allow you to use fitness facilities in your area at no additional charge.

Getting Organized

Clutter — both in terms of your physical surroundings and your schedule — is a huge cause of stress in most people’s lives. Taking the time to truly organize your life — both at home and on the job — is a vital act of self-care. Studies have found that people with clean surroundings are typically healthier. Not only that, but keeping an organized schedule can also give you more control over your time, leading to a reduction in overall stress levels and mental fatigue.

Spacing Out

There are very few times in a day that we turn our own brains off and completely zone out. This is too bad because spacing out and letting yourself be free of focus (on anything) is actually very good for your mental state.

“Mind wandering is not useless mental static. Instead … mind wandering allows us to work through some important thinking,” says Discovery Magazine.

In essence, relaxing your mind to the point of low-level function helps it reset and work through complex issues. This can boost your creativity, problem-solving, and allow you to work through complex emotional thoughts — all good for your overall mental health.

Self-care isn’t selfish — it’s extremely important for your overall well-being. While eating right, exercising, treating yourself to things you want, and other well-known self-care habits are vital, so are these often-overlooked practices. In the end, anything that keeps your mind and body feeling fresh is a critical part of any self-care regimen.

About the Author

Brad Krause created Self Caring after years spent putting his own self-care on the back burner. Brad discovered his real calling: helping people implement self-care practices that improve their overall wellbeing. His website is intended to share his own knowledge and the many great resources he finds on his self-care journey.

Illustration by Max van den Oetelaar at Unsplash.

 

Weepy, Angry, Catatonic: Three Kinds of Depression and How You Can Help

By Julie A. Fast

Depression has many modes. I divide it into a few categories: weepy, angry and catatonic. Knowing what kind of depression your friend experiences is a good place to start when it comes to offering help. Fran and Marty’s book High Tide, Low Tide covers this topic well.

The following examples show what people go through during each of these three kinds of depression. If you are unsure what your friend experiences, I suggest you read this blog together when they are stable. Ask them, “Do you experience what is in this blog? I would like to know more how to help when this happens. We can talk about it now while you are feeling better and I will then know what to do when I see the depression show up!”

I would LOVE a friend to do this for me, so please know that you are needed when we are depressed.

Weepy Depression

If I’m talking with you about things in a weepy, sad way and this is different from how I normally express myself there is a good chance the depression has a hold on me. When I’m sick, the news is simply overwhelming. I will start to talk about how the world is a bad place and how scary everything is now. I will cry over relationships and work and will be unable to hold myself together watching sad movies or when I see any kind of situation where someone is being harmed.

When I’m stable, I have a filter for these things. I hardly ever cry and when I do, it will have a good reason behind it. When the weepy depression hits me, I cry like a baby at everything. The tears are different too. They are like waterfalls. There are no tear drops like with regular crying. Instead, I have waterworks coming out of my eyes! The crying is endless!

If you see me tearing up, turning my head away so you don’t see me cry or I simply cry in front of you because I am so depressed, I can’t hide it, I DO want you to say something. I want you to say, “I can see the nasty depression has a hold of you. You told me the tears come really easily when the depression is around. Let’s talk about your plan and how I can help you get out of this downswing.”

Angry Depression

I’m a right nasty bitch when the irritated depression hits me. No one is safe from my rotten thinking. Everything upsets me! You will notice that while I am normally a pretty good listener, you will say things that piss me off more. I might even snap at you and say something unkind. I want you to know that this is not the real me.

It doesn’t mean that it’s ok. It’s not and I am working on it, but if you notice that I am much more irritated, upset, nasty and downright mean, don’t just take it or walk off or fight with me! Instead, I want you to say this, “You told me that you have depression that makes you really irritated. I see signs of this right now. It is hard on me, but I’m willing to work through it with you. We can focus on getting you out of this downswing. I don’t want depression to affect our relationship. I want to work together on this.”

I know that many of my past relationships would have been saved if my friends just knew what to say. Yes, I am responsible for what I say and I’m working on that. I want to let you know that sometimes the depression is stronger than I am and I do need help sometimes. Let’s work on this together.

Catatonic Depression

When I’m really depressed, you will not know it by looking at me. I simply won’t show it to you. My face will be a mask when we meet. I will do everything possible to hide what I am going through. It’s as though I’m a puzzle I want someone to solve, but I simply won’t give them the pieces! I can’t. The depression is so violating! It gives me thoughts that no one loves me, so how on earth do I break through that and tell you that I am hurting with this illness? It would be like saying I love you to someone I know will never love me back. I can’t feel or see that you care about me when I’m depressed.

For this reason, I need you to look for the other signs of my depression as you won’t be able to read it in my face. Am I talking less? Do I hang back or say no in situations where I would normally participate? Does my phone go to voice mail? Do my text replies get shorter or are all emojis? These are signs I am not doing well. I do want your help, but the kind of depression I have makes me silent. You can always ask me, is the depression rough right now? I will tell you the truth. Then, we can get out and do something together. Something active. This is what I need when I’m catatonic. I need the reminder that my body can still move.

Being friends with someone who has depression takes patience and a willingness to help when the depression is controlling how your friend thinks and behaves. As someone with depression, I wish that I were more able to control how it affects my brain, but I simply can’t. Instead, I need people in my life who will help me get through the down times so that we can go back to enjoying the good times.

 

About the Author

Julie A. Fast is the author of Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder, Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder, Get it Done When You’re Depressed and The Health Cards Treatment System for Bipolar Disorder. Julie is a board member of The International Bipolar Foundation, a columnist and blogger for BP Magazine, and won the Mental Health America journalism award for the best mental health column in the US. Julie was the recipient of the Eli Lily Reintegration award for her work in bipolar disorder advocacy. She is a bipolar disorder expert for the Dr.Oz and Oprah created site ShareCare.

Julie is CEU certified and regularly trains health care professionals including psychiatric residents, social workers, therapists and general practitioners on bipolar disorder management skills. She was the original consultant for Claire Danes for the show Homeland and is on the mental health expert registry for People Magazine. She works as a coach for parents and partners of people with bipolar disorder. Julie is currently writing a book for children called Hortensia and the Magical Brain: Poems for Kids with Bipolar, Anxiety, Psychosis and Depression. She struggles a lot due to bipolar disorder. Friendships keep her going. You can find more about her work at www.JulieFast.com and www.BipolarHappens.com.

 

One Step at a Time: Walking for Wellness, Walking for Me

When I’m happy, I walk.
When I’m sad, or lonely or lost.
When I’m hurting, or numb.
When there’s too much to think about
Or nothing on my mind.
I walk.

Walking has played an important role in my life for as long as I can remember. So much so that it was one of the first things I included in the wellness tools section of my Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP). It’s also made its way into my writing more often than I’d realised until I began writing this article. (The idea for this piece came to me whilst, wait for it, walking into work one morning a few weeks ago.)

My family never owned a car, so when I was growing up in Liverpool if I wanted to go somewhere it was catch the bus or walk. From the age of eleven I walked thirty or forty minutes each way to and from school, lost in my thoughts about whatever was going on for me at the time. In my late teens I remember going for Sunday evening walks to West Derby village and back, a round trip of maybe an hour and a half at my ambling, contemplative pace.

About that time I started going on the Ramblers’ Association (now The Ramblers) public walks every couple of months with my aunt and her friend. I loved the exercise and the sense of freedom, being out on the hills. The people were lovely but I mostly kept my own counsel and walked separately the rest. There was one exception, a lady whose name escapes me some forty years on. Her spirit is captured, however, in one of my poems from that time.

Song to the high hills

Take my hand offered
across streams
we jump
that trickle your laughter
down the savage fen.
Share with me one day’s
journey
in this weird land,
where even the spring shuns
the mark of our
trespass
and unnamed birds cast down
forsaken echoes
from the high hills above us.
Do you not see
the whole earth bleeding …
distant mountains burn
a venous red
and at our feet
the bare rocks haemorrhage,
oozing lichen up from unseen wounds.
Believe me,
cares that clothe us
city-bound
will fall
today
like autumn leaves
       that colour in your hair
come winter’s purge.
And yet, in all of this,
a little rain might mark my sadness
sevenfold
to court you but a day
—surely inhibition falters
as we share the innocence
of exploration together.

Innocence tempting revelation.

From: Collected Poems: 1977–1984.

I joined the hiking club at university but didn’t keep it up. I do recall one hike with friends across Ilkley Moor during a thunderstorm that painted the sky in all manner of crazy hues. Instead, I took to taking urban walks on my own, mostly early in the morning. A favourite route took me out of town to a park where I would sit a while by the lake before making my way back for lectures. One day I went further than I intended and got myself a bit lost. I remember taking my shoes off and walking part of the way back barefoot across a golf course in the rain. A different early walk, along a derelict railway to the local park, was captured in another of my poems.

The Bunch of Wild Flowers

this morning
as you slept in his arms
I wandered,
picked you flowers white as sonnets
early in the morning
where the lonely go
and lovers wonder)

stirring in your arms he
tasted autumn in your hair
ascent of flowers,
brushed away the cobwebs or a dream
and (plucked one throbbing rose as red as
kisses
early in the garden
where the lovers grow
within each other’s arms

And bore you welcomes wild
of flowers truer than all orchids
my love
this morning as you slept
in his arms I wandered
gathering poems deep as daisies
early in the morning
where the lovers
go,

From: Collected Poems: 1977–1984.

Urban or rural, walking for me has always been about space: space in which to think or not think, depending on what I most need at the time. It is my instinctive response to uncertainty, challenge, and loss. When I got the news that PJ, a dear friend from university days, had died my instinctive reaction was to get out of the house and walk. It didn’t matter where, I just needed to be moving. (Years later, that one evening of loss is imprinted on these local streets, although I’ve added many overlying layers of other days, people and memories in the intervening years.) A week or so later I took the day off work and went to the coast for a solitary hike, long enough to try and process the fact that my friend was no longer here. After my mother died I walked by Crosby Marina the evening of her funeral. The words that came to me are, perhaps, a poem. If so, it is the first I’ve written in many years.

Wandering
Wondering

How do I feel
What do I feel

Release
Relief

Re birth

Stillness
Silence

Un known
Un homed

Un tethered

Still
Calm

Centred (thank you

— Liverpool, March 26, 2018

I mostly prefer to walk alone but there have been times when I’ve taken a trusted friend along. One of my dearest memories of PJ is of walking her home in the snow one dark winter night. Years later I recall another walk in the snow with a different friend, when we got seriously lost on Wimbledon Common. The walk Fran and I took around Beaulieu in 2013 when we met in person for the first time was, quite simply, precious.

We walked, and talked, and took photos of the Abbey and gardens, and went on the monorail and the old open-top bus, and walked some more, and sat, and talked some more. It was amazing—and the most natural thing in the world. If we were a little shy it didn’t show. We were just two friends out together enjoying the day.

From: High Tide, Low Tide, The Caring Friend’s Guide to Bipolar Disorder.

Walks by the sea are special. I spent six months in Norwich on placement from university. One Sunday I drove to the coast with one of the other students for an hour or so walking on the shore.

(In the Depths of) Singing

Down the western reaches of the sea i
findme walking with a friend,
wind and seasalt wildly in the sky, you on
my mind. Late november: pebbles in a
wilderness of oceans and a fulling moon.

Something like the flesh of friends too
raw for touching walkwe. Two
investigating puddles. Our togetherness apart
we wander down our dreams while all the
waves one water can involve strike
sparks about our feet. From flints we
gather in the night.
We gather. In the

(o i love the waves that break upon
me like you)

nightly

From: Collected Poems: 1977–1984.

That memory sparks another. One morning long ago when I ought to have been at work but instead spent the day on the beach walking with a friend who understood that sometimes shared solitude is just what is needed.

A few years ago I paddled in the sea along Long Sands Beach at Whitley Bay here in the north-east. At first it was cold. Then my feet went numb. I probably should have come out at that point but I kept going to the point when my feet were hurting with cold. I got out of the water, dried my feet, and put my thick socks and boots on, expecting my feet to warm through within a few minutes. They took so long to thaw out I was beginning to think I had caused some serious damage. I have paddled in the sea several times since then, but not in quite such extreme conditions.

Over time, regular walking routes become saturated with memories. The best example of that is the walk I take each evening when on holiday at the Cumbrian cottage my family have rented for the past twenty years or so. So rich are the echoes of the people and situations I’ve brought with me in mind and heart over the years that I’ve named it Memory Lane. Fran has accompanied me on that walk many times via the magic of Skype. A few other friends have done the same.

I have done a few sponsored walks. When I was at school I organised a twenty mile walk for friends in aid of the World Wildlife Fund. I think only two of us completed the task but we did raise some money. More recently I have done the Alzheimer’s Society Memory Walk a couple of times, and taken part in the NAMI Maine Walk, accompanying Fran from 3,000 miles away. Last December I took part in the Jingle Bell Walk to raise money for children’s cancer charity The Chris Lucas Trust.

Returning to my solo walks and their place in my wellbeing, the best example is the walk I took almost every evening during the summer of 2013 when Fran was traveling in Europe. Those walks were part of my wellness plan for that period, which was the most challenging we’d faced as friends and one of the most traumatic Fran had ever experienced.

That wellness plan developed into the Wellness Recovery Action Plan I mentioned at the start of this article. It is a living document and will grow with me as my needs change, but I cannot imagine walking not being in there as one of my key wellness tools.

Well, this article has turned out to be rather long and rambling, much like many of my walks!

I will close with another passage from our book, because short or long every walk starts out as a single step, then another, then another. And where steps are concerned, size and speed are not always the most important things. The important thing is to keep moving.

As we like to say, baby steps are steps too.

This is one of our favourite [sayings]. It reminds us to stay focused in the present moment, to take life one step at a time, and to acknowledge that even the smallest advance counts as progress. Fran is very goal-oriented, and becomes frustrated if she seems to be straying off course or failing to make fast enough progress. In depression, this can reach a point where she despairs of ever achieving her targets or even progressing further towards them. At such times, “Baby steps are steps too” reminds her that she rarely stays stuck for long. She will try new ideas, or re-visit old ones, until something happens to move her forward.

From: High Tide, Low Tide, The Caring Friend’s Guide to Bipolar Disorder.