Gum on My Shoe

The things that make us happy make us wise. — John Crowley, Little, Big I’m living as large as I can in the little life that I have. — Fran Houston As many of my blog posts are, this one was inspired by a conversation with Fran. It was early afternoon for her, early evening for me. We began by catching each other up on what we’d been doing since we last spoke. Fran had been to the theatre the previous evening and was working on some family tasks. I’d been out for lunch, then to my favourite coffee shop. Talk turned to a dear friend of ours, Andrea, who had just returned to the States from a safari trip in Africa. The three of us had kept in touch throughout her adventure, with Andi sharing frequent updates, photos and videos. Everything from close encounters with Colobus monkeys, baboons, lions, buffalo, and elephants, to the amazing scenery, food, accommodation, and people she loves so much. We’d followed her flights out and back in real time. I commented to Fran how humor...

I thought growing old would take longer. — Unknown This blog post was inspired by a recent conversation in the office. Someone had celebrated their birthday and there followed a good deal of friendly banter as people shared their respective ages. I smiled, knowing I was easily the oldest in the room. I asked one of my colleagues how old she thought I was. She declined to guess but her surprise at learning I’d just turned sixty-four was immediate and genuine. I asked again how old she’d imagined I was. She hesitated, then offered fifty. (Thank you, Sophie, you made my day!) This has happened before. On a Teams call in the first weeks of lockdown in 2020 a different colleague flatly refused to believe I was fifty-nine. They were so adamant I found myself counting it out on my fingers just to be sure. In the office, the conversation turned to the inevitable question. How can I possibly look so much younger than my years? Sophie said I seemed to have a pretty relaxed lifestyl...

I’m grateful to my friend and fellow mental health blogger Aimee Wilson for suggesting this collaboration for Mental Health Awareness Week 2025. We’ve each answered the same ten questions about different aspects of our blogging experience. Aimee’s answers are below. You can find mine on her blog I’m NOT Disordered . AIMEE’S ANSWERS 1. How do you handle time management and prioritisation when it comes to content creation? Time management and prioritising is actually an area that I’m still – yes, even after well over twelve years! – learning how to manage, regulate, and cope with. I do find the need for balance sometimes when I find myself juggling creating multiple pieces of content at the same time and I realise that I need to balance working on the bits I’m enjoying the most as well as keeping an eye on the content which has more of an imminent deadline e.g. where it’s for an Awareness date or an anniversary etc. 2. What impact does blogging have on your mental healt...

Since 2001 the Mental Health Foundation has been leading Mental Health Awareness Week (MHAW) to focus on good mental health. Each May, people from every part of society take part. This year, MHAW will take place from 12 to 18 May 2025. The theme for 2025 is “Community.” Being part of a safe, positive community is vital for our mental health and wellbeing. We thrive when we have strong connections with other people and supportive communities that remind us, we are not alone. Communities can provide a sense of belonging, safety, support in hard times, and give us a sense purpose. That’s all well and good, but what if you don’t feel part of a community? What if you never have? What if you don’t want to? This came out in conversation with my friend and fellow mental health blogger Aimee Wilson. Aimee blogs at I’m NOT Disordered and writes for Shake My Hand , the campaign she founded to empower survivors and reform professional responses to rape and abuse. A: Did you see the ...

Seven years ago today a friend and I walked into a pub. That might sound like the opening line to a joke but it’s not — although it was a great night with plenty of laughter. I count that evening as a turning point for me in many ways. An important step in my personal and mental health journey. At the time, I was learning to open up, engaging with like-minded people and organisations locally after having focused for a long time on services and folk local to Fran, three thousand miles away across the Atlantic in Maine. I made a new friend that evening. We’ve had our ups and downs but I’m happy and proud to call her my friend today. And the friend I walked into the pub with? Oh, we’re strong. With her, I’ve learned so much. About friendship. About mental health. About myself. I’m very proud of us too. And Fran. What can I say? I’ve never known a friendship like ours. We don’t always know which steps are going to prove the most important in our lives. But sometimes it’s possibl...

Don’t tell people they can do the impossible. Tell people that they can do the possible that they think is impossible. — Denis Waitley This post was inspired by something I saw recently on social media concerning illness and expectations. The author recalled someone they knew years ago who’d completed a major endurance feat despite living with significant physical disabilities. Their achievement had reinforced in the author the commonplace expectation that “anything is possible” if you’re sufficiently motivated, no matter your situation or circumstances. They were ill-prepared for the reality. Life is often far more restrictive and restricted, especially for someone with energy-limiting conditions. They highlighted the lack of help and guidance for people with chronic health conditions who grieve the life they never get to live. The post had been shared by Facebook accounts focusing on conditions including chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS/ME) and fibromyalgia, attracting a lot ...

Trigger / content warning: mention of child sexual abuse and rape This post is inspired by a recent video blog by my friend and fellow mental health blogger Aimee Wilson. The twelve minute video is titled “Come along with a CSA survivor to a smear planning appointment with Northumbria NHS Gynae.” As well as showcasing the video itself, I want to share my response to it and why I feel this is such an important topic. What’s it About? Here’s what the vlog is about in Aimee’s own words. Being a CSA [ child sexual abuse ] survivor, I have had to meet with Gynae to discuss having my smear test under a general anaesthetic. I filmed this vlog to provide advice and empathy to other survivors and to bring insight to those who judge people for struggling with this procedure. Don’t judge a person’s journey when you haven’t walked in their shoes! It’s characteristic of Aimee to share her lived experience in the hope it might inform and help other people. To note, the video covers Aim...

Check out our top posts for the past month. Posts are listed by the number of page views they attracted during the month, most popular first. Shhhhhhh! A Friend’s Guide to Secrets The Box on the Shelf: A Strategy for Handling Difficult Issues and Situations Twelve Songs That Remind Me What Caring Is All About It’s Not Enough / Never Enough It’s Time to Talk. But What If You Don’t Want To? Thank You Anyway: The Gift of Ingratitude Looking Out: An Open Letter to My Best riend How Do I Feel? Exploring Alexithymia and Emotional Blindness The Art of Friendship: Exploring the Portland Museum of Art and the Laing Art Gallery With My Best Friend One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy: Encounters With the Absurd Man Our most visited pages were: Contact Us Our books About Us Resources Testimonials News and Appearances   Photo of Kingston Park by Martin Baker.