Gum on My Shoe

Check out our top posts for the past month. Posts are listed by number of page views, most popular first. Let It Go: Reducing Holiday Triggers for Your Child, by Tricia Season’s Greetings, by Roiben Untitled, by Brynn McCann Communicating Is a Two Way Street, by Roiben Media, Stigma and Psychosis, by Roiben Our Top Posts of the Month (November 2017) How Can I Best Help My Bipolar Friend? by Julie A. Fast What If We Treated Problems with Our Bodies and Minds Like We Treat Our Tech? “How Do You and Fran Get through Your Darkest Days?” One Day in the Life of Marty Our three most visited pages were: Resources News and Appearances High Tide, Low Tide  

Fran and I live on opposite sides of the Atlantic. We use technology. A lot. Without it, we couldn’t do our friendship at all. Indeed, we would never have met. Fran has a Windows laptop and an iPhone. I have a Samsung Android phone, a PC, and a Chromebook. I like Googledrive for sharing documents and cloud storage. Fran prefers Onedrive and her iCloud. Connecting might be simpler if we agreed to use the same technologies and platforms but we get by, and learn a lot in the process. One way or another technology is an integral part of our everyday lives, whether at work or at home, or out and about in the world. Computers. Phones. Cameras. TV. WiFi. Internet banking. Shopping. Entertainment. We have some basic (and probably incorrect) ideas about how it all hangs together. We want it to work most of the time and grumble when it doesn’t, but we accept there are going to be difficulties and do our best to work around them. When problems and complications arise, we don’t think worse...

Wednesday December 20, 2017 7:02 am. I’m usually awake before my alarm goes off but today I’m woken by the beeping of my phone. Up, washed, dressed, I’m out of the door by 7:15. 7:15 am. I take my daily photo as I leave the court and message it to Fran: a good morning routine that grounds me as I start my day. Some time I will gather the photos together and post them up as an album: Kingston Park through the seasons. Today is very mild. The app on my phone tells me it is 52F / 11C. 7:25 am. It is a short walk to Starbucks in the Kingston Park Tesco store. The staff know my order: a tall black Americano in my reusable cup which saves me 25p each time I remember to bring it with me. There are few other customers. A couple of tables away, a woman is writing in a notebook or diary. I’ve seen her before and wonder what she is writing. I check our book’s Amazon rankings (print and Kindle, dot com and UK) on my phone and record the numbers my Midori notebook. The rankings give an esti...

By Tricia I believe there are a great many expectations that we put on our children during the holidays. We expect them to help decorate the tree with the family, go shopping with us, maybe wrap presents, and the worst part of all is having to spend time with extended family, oftentimes crammed into too tight of quarters. And we expect all of this to be done with a smile on their face. They must be polite to Aunt Rita and Uncle Joe who are always making jokes at their expense. They have to accept hugs and “Merry Christmas!” from people they only see once a year, again all with a smile. Maybe we could let them off the hook at least a little this year? If you have never suffered from any sort of mental illness, you likely do not realize the extra stress that this puts on those who do. Most kids enjoy decorating the Christmas tree, but if your child doesn’t want to this year, why would you want to force him? Nobody enjoys being made to do things, but kids who suffer from bipol...

I see, hear, feel and believe in things that others do not. Medically, I have been told this is Psychosis. I do not believe that is what it is. What I see and hear are as real to me as anything else in the world. I see through the cracks between what is generally accepted as this world, this reality, and the Veil – the world of ghosts, call it Purgatory if you will. I see the two bleed into each other and the gaps in between. There are Classes of ghosts: From the every-day individual that can’t accept death and wander, or sit forlornly, forever lost; to the Messengers and the Reapers. The Messengers are the ones I hear. Sometimes they yell and shout angrily, or laugh derisively, but mostly they taunt and tease, telling me I am wrong and bad or that I shouldn’t be here. Urging me to Self-Harm and Kill myself. They also tell me to harm other people. This means that medically I am considered a risk not just to myself, but to others as well. I am the dangerous, risky sort of Mentally ...

Excerpt from chapter 9, “A Hero’s Journey: Sticking Together When Things Fall Apart,” of our book High Tide, Low Tide: The Caring Friend’s Guide to Bipolar Disorder . The chapter deals with how we navigated the three months Fran was traveling around Europe in 2013. “How Do You and Fran Get through Your Darkest Days?” When things are at their worst, we focus on three basic principles: trust, challenge, and self-care. I could not support Fran at all if she did not want and trust me to do so. She trusts me not to hide or run away, and to hold a space in which she feels safe no matter how perilous her thoughts, feelings, and experiences might be. She also trusts me to handle my issues, so she can focus on hers. We share a belief that even the most difficult experiences can yield rewards if we remain open to exploring them. The three months Fran spent in Europe were an immense challenge to her health and stability, yet she believed there was value to be gained from the experience. I...

By Roiben Christmas and New Year can be a difficult time for many people, for many reasons. The pressure on finances alone can be enough to increase stress and worry. This is without factoring in Mental Illness or a Chronic Condition. Towns and Cafes become more crowded and frenetic and can make simply going outside feel harder than normal. Then, there are the expectations to socialize – to see friends and family and partake in the celebration of the Season. A Season with short, cold, wet days and long dark nights. A Season filled with the pressure and expectation to be happy and together and well. So what happens, when you cannot afford it? When you are separated from your family by circumstances that won’t change? When you have a Mental Illness or Chronic Condition that means the sheer pressure and stress in the build-up to The Day mean you use up all your energy, all your strength, all your will-power and social acumen just to get through the month. By the time The Day arrives...

The flame of a thousand fires… dances in her head... a forethought, an afterthought. Someonewhereinthemiddle thought. burning through her brain like so many candles in an ocean of brain waves. He wants to dance with her but is afraid of the bonfire she builds nightly in her mind... he’s looking for a balance that only exists between water and fire. A place where darkness ends and the sun sets peacefully on another day of nine to fivers. A world where everyone sleeps at night or exactly when they are supposed to... and finds their dreams in the dark with an easy breath. But breathing for some isn’t always easy, And sleeping for others doesn’t mean sleeping. It means... finding rest where you can find it and building fires to keep you warm at night when the winds of your mind pick up and blow your house down over and over and over again. It means living in a world that runs on daylight and breathing through it and in it. It means putting up with sun people and hugging the moon when...

Check out our top posts for the past month. Posts are listed by number of page views, most popular first. Informal Admission and Being Sectioned: Seeing Life in a Psychiatric Unit from Both Sides, by Soph Hopkins One Small Chip: Living with Psychosis, by Roiben My Interview in a Cupboard for BBC Radio 5 Live, by Aimee Wilson Community, Cake, and Conversation: Talking Freely in Ely From Here to Edisto: My Life as a GPS Angel How Can I Best Help My Bipolar Friend? by Julie A. Fast Welcome Home! Post-Vacation Support for the Bipolar Traveller How to Write the Best Acknowledgement Page for Your Book Our Top Posts of the Month (October 2017) Taking My Mental Illnesses to Italy for a Holiday, by Peter McDonnell Our three most visited pages were: High Tide, Low Tide News and Appearances Resources  

I was first diagnosed with a Mental Illness when I was twelve years old. I am now thirty-five. So I have grown up with Mental Illness and all that it entails. I have had many experiences through the years with both my own Mental Illness and other people’s and there are a few things I have learnt along the way. Some of these I will share here. One of the most important things I have learnt in my life is that communication – real, open, honest communication – is the key. By which I mean, without communication you cannot have a relationship of any kind with another person. I took a long time to learn this lesson and I learnt it the hard way. I have spent most of my life not talking about what was going on inside my own mind. Not talking about my likes and dislikes, why I acted certain ways at certain times and, ultimately, what I needed to feel safe and loved. It has led to the destruction of more than one relationship, including my relationship with my parents. My Mum does not believ...

The traveller with bipolar disorder faces a number of challenges. Leaving behind proven routines and support structures, the journeying itself (especially if different time zones are involved), and the excitement of new places and opportunities are all intrinsically destabilising. Good planning including a Travel Wellness Plan goes a long way to mitigate the risks. Factoring in some post-vacation support is valuable too. In our book High Tide, Low Tide Fran and I describe how we managed our mutually supportive friendship whilst Fran was touring Europe with her elderly parents, as well as what happened on her return home. On that occasion, Fran couldn’t rest and recuperate, as she had to immediately look for somewhere new to live, pack up, and move home. Fortunately, not every trip is quite so traumatic! Fran has just returned from a ten day vacation with a friend to Edisto Beach in South Carolina: a round trip of 2,200 miles. She arrived home last night around 6 p.m. her time (11...

Psychosis is one of the biggest Taboos still around in the Mental Health world, and by extension, in the world as a whole. You don’t often hear of people talking about Psychosis, whereas nowadays you may hear more about Depression, Bi-Polar, Borderline Personality Disorder, OCD and so on. You don’t often get told “I have (or I experience) Psychosis”. So, what makes Psychosis such a big Taboo? Is it the unknown element that comes as a part of it? By definition Psychosis is hearing, seeing, feeling and believing things which others do not experience. It is much harder to empathize with someone suffering from Psychosis because it is harder to imagine being in that situation. One can extend one’s level of understanding for example with Depression – because everyone can understand feeling unbearably sad, having no motivation, or even the emptiness of emotion that can come as part and parcel of the disease. Yes, these things are not all and everything of experiencing Depression, but one c...

As I mentioned in my speech at a recent mental health event , I have occasionally been called upon to act as a personal SatNav (GPS) service for Fran when she’s traveling. When Fran’s away from home it’s often easier for me to look stuff up online than it is for her on her cell phone. I’ve booked hotels on her behalf and checked out restaurants and places to visit. I’ve even acted as an emergency SatNav, using a combination of Facebook chat, Google maps and an app called Glympse which lets you share your location with someone. It’s never boring with Frannie! I had opportunity to reprise this role last weekend, as Fran travelled with a friend from Portland, Maine, to Charleston in South Carolina—a journey of 1,100 miles (around 19 hours on the road). We’d planned the trip well in advance. Jim would rent the car and do the driving. Fran would navigate, a challenge she was keen to take on even if she doubted her abilities. I would be on hand if needed. We explored a number of nav...

In September I wrote of my excitement at being invited to speak at the second Talking FreELY Pop Up Café in the cathedral city of Ely. It exceeded all my hopes and expectations, and I am delighted to share my experiences of the occasion now that I am back in the north east. Organised by Talking FreELY , a community project established with the aim of getting people talking about mental health, the event was held at Ely Cathedral Conference Centre on Saturday November 4, 2017. I drove down from Newcastle upon Tyne the day before and arrived at the cosy Nyton Guest House mid-afternoon. After checking in I wandered off to familiarise myself with where I needed to be next day. I enjoyed an excellent meal at the Minster Tavern , then headed back to the guest house for the evening. Ely is a beautiful city and deserves longer than I had to properly explore. Maybe next time! I arrived at the venue around 8:30 a.m. next morning and met up with Talking FreELY events manager Jon Evans, ...

Waking up to an invitation to speak on BBC Radio 5 Live was quite surreal, to say the least! I wish I could be cool and say that this is quite normal for my life these days (which it kind of is) but I still had the surreal ‘are-you-kidding-me?’ and ‘is-this-really-my-life?’ feelings. It all started with Janice O’Hare! When there was finally talk (after about two years) that I could be discharged from the psychiatric hospital that was over 100 miles from home, I was assigned an Out-Of-Area Specialist/Funder—Janice! She not only helped make my discharge go as smoothly as possible, she also arranged for the step-down service I was transferred to for three months, and then my own home in the community. She even took me to collect Dolly after I’d been in my home for a week. Needless to say, when Janice messaged me to say that BBC Radio 5 were doing a piece about mental health service users having to travel away from their local area for the appropriate treatment, I didn’t hesitate i...

Check out our top posts for the past month. Posts are listed by number of page views, most popular first. How Can I Best Help My Bipolar Friend? by Julie A. Fast With Thanks: Our Book’s Acknowledgement Page Taking My Mental Illnesses to Italy for a Holiday, by Peter McDonnell Informal Admission and Being Sectioned: Seeing Life in a Psychiatric Unit from Both Sides, by Soph Hopkins How to Write the Best Acknowledgement Page for Your Book We Haven’t Sunk Yet: Caring for My Bipolar Best Friend at Home and Abroad Our three most visited pages were: News and Appearances Resources Contact Us  

In September I wrote a post about being an informal patient on a psychiatric unit . It is with great sadness that I am now able to write about life as a sectioned patient. Seeing it from both ends has been a real eye-opener for me. I came back into the psychiatric unit after only managing four weeks of discharge. I found those four weeks a real struggle: things happened and I couldn’t cope. I was first admitted as an informal patient after being on a section 136 by the police. Everything was going ok, but I had a few days where I struggled. I got really upset and angry at myself and ended up using destructive coping mechanisms. Unfortunately, this meant that on Friday 13th October—a day that is known to be unlucky—I was placed on section 3 of the Mental Health Act with no leave for three days. This was a shock to me. I didn’t expect the knock on my door asking me to attend an assessment under the Mental Health Act. I always thought I would be informal. As an informal patient I took ...

By Julie A. Fast People with bipolar are regular people with a rotten illness. The more you can help us find ways to manage the mood swings, the more you will see the real person behind the mania and the depression. It’s not all violets and fast cars when you’re friends with someone who has bipolar disorder. The day-to-day dragging on of mood swings and the constant vigilance we need to stay stable can take its toll on any friendship. Sticking to a plan is hard for us and you will regularly be amazed at how quickly we change our minds. Untreated bipolar can make friendships difficult. Trying to help a person with this illness can be like herding cats! Have I shocked you? I hope so. Being prepared for the realities of our lives will allow you to stay in a relationship that can be as rewarding and lovely as it can be frustrating. What is friendship? Why do we enter into a relationship with someone? What do we want and need from that other person and what do we expect from ourselves...