Gum on My Shoe

By Beth Gadwa Foreword by Julie A. Fast I recently posted a note on Facebook that included a link to one of my Bp Magazine videos called Bipolar Disorder Paranoia and Keeping Your Relationships Strong . I made the point that I had to take responsibility over my own paranoia and not take it out on others. I have ruined many relationships in the past due to my untreated paranoid thinking and actions. Right under this post, bipolar disorder advocate and writer Beth Gadwa left a comment that truly opened my mind to the other side of the situation. She wrote: Julie, please be aware that people with bipolar are also sometimes victimized and exploited in relationships. A good strategy is to “check in” with a neutral third party, such as a close friend or family member to try to determine if you are symptomatic. Being bipolar does not mean being a doormat, or turning a blind eye to infidelity or abuse. But it does absolutely mean we have to check ourselves, and pause and reflect before...

I was chatting to my friend Roiben the other day about coasters. Not the boats, the little place mats you put your coffee mug on. I asked if she had any particular kind in mind. She showed me some lovely ones on Etsy, but it was something about that phrase that caught my attention. Kind in mind It got me thinking about all the times we’re not kind in mind. Not kind-minded at all, towards others and ourselves. Often we imagine our intentions are kindly, but under the surface there’s some self-serving ego element at work. It’s something I’ve been working with quite a bit lately, with the help of friends unafraid to hold things up to the light for me. Kind in mind gives me a new reference against which to assess my motivations. Kind in mind and heart takes things a step further. “Is this kind in mind and heart?” I ask myself, as I contemplate some new course of action or intervention. I am not always going to get it right, but it’s already helping. Maybe it can work for y...

By Martin Baker and Aimee Wilson My good friend and fellow mental health blogger Aimee Wilson recently enrolled on an online course at Future Learn, titled Understanding Suicide and Suicide Prevention Strategies in a Global Context . It took me about thirty seconds to decide to join her! This is from the course description: On this course, you will gain a broader understanding of suicide as a worldwide issue. You will analyse global suicide rates and patterns and explore common risk factors. You will explore the social and cultural factors that can influence suicidal behaviour. You will also look at suicide prevention strategies and learn how these can be enforced in communities. Having a study buddy is great because — as Fran and I have found many times — you have someone to share ideas and perspectives with, and to talk through any issues that come up. This is especially valuable with something as complex and important as suicidality. As with other Future Learn courses ...

By Aimee Wilson   When she fought, he won When she stole, he caught her When she looked, he hid When she bent, he broke her When she hurt, he caused it When she ran, he gave chase When she saw, he missed it When she heard, he ignored   But when she died, they revived her When she cut, they mended When she swallowed, they treat When she cried, they soothed When she ran, they caught When she lost hope, they showed her the way   She won back what he’d taken She mended what he had broke She stabilized what he had moved She finished what he had started She lived     About the Author Aimee Wilson is a 28-year-old mental health blogger who has used her personal experiences to develop a popular online profile. Aimee was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder in 2009, and after over 60 attempts on her life was admitted to a long-term, specialist psychiatric hospital almost 200 miles from home. It was during her two-and-a-half-year stay in ho...

This important principle reminds us not to hold too tightly to people, relationships, and situations. Healthy things grow, and to grow is to change. In the time we have known each other Fran has moved from mania to depression and out again. She has grown in self-awareness, and developed tools for looking after herself. I have learned a great deal about what it is like for someone living with illness, and how to respond to Fran’s needs and the needs of others. At times Fran needs me close beside her, at other times she needs space to grow independently. “Open hands” recognises that change is natural, healthy, and necessary. It gives us permission to grow without feeling guilty or restricted. Imagine holding a small bird in the palm of your hand. It feels safe, protected, and cared for, but it is free to move, to grow, and even to fly away. “Open arms” reminds us that, no matter what happens, we will always welcome each other back as friends. “Open heart” connects our friends...

Last week I was proud to speak at an event organised for International Women’s Day by the Women in Digital network where I work. I’d been invited to take part by my friend and colleague Lisa Overall. We agreed on a topic for my talk — how to support a friend who lives with mental illness — based on an article I wrote originally for No Stigmas, “a global non-profit movement utilizing peer-to-peer connections to promote mental wellness and prevent suicide.” The article was subsequently published at The Mighty . I had given the talk once before, at a Talking FreELY event in 2017, but it is a topic which resonates with many (at The Mighty my article has been “liked” more than 1,200 times) and I was confident it would work for this new audience. The room was filling nicely by the time I arrived. I’d estimate there were close to sixty people there as the event got underway. (It is possible the promise of cake had something to do with the turnout!) After introductions, t...

Check out our top posts for the past month. Posts are listed by number of page views they attracted during the month, most popular first. How to Gently and Kindly Talk with a Friend About Difficult Bipolar Symptoms Our Top Posts of the Month (December 2018) My Mental Health 2018: Aligning It All When All Is Said & Typed, by Aimee Wilson Complex Simplicity: The Art of Being Honest Bloggers About Town: A Day out with Aimee Wilson Impostor Syndrome, Self-Doubt, and Legitimacy in the Mental Health Arena What Does Having a Conversation about Mental Health Look Like? #TimeToTalkDay Announcing Our New Book, “No One is Too Far Away: Notes from a Transatlantic Friendship” Exploring Bipolar Disorder and the Sister Diagnosis of Schizoaffective Disorder. Is My Friend or Sibling Underdiagnosed? Our most visited pages were: Contact Us Resources Our book: High Tide Low Tide About Us News and Appearances Testimonials  

“ Don’t push someone away and then expect them to still be there when you have a change of mind .” (Anon) That quotation made its way into my social media stream the other day. Maybe you’ve seen it, or something similar. Maybe you agree with the sentiment. After all, it doesn’t feel good to be pushed away by someone you care about. It’s easy to sit back and feel self-righteously aggrieved. But things are not always what they seem. Someone might push you away for all sorts of reasons. Maybe they have major trust issues, and very good reasons for them. Maybe they have a lot of other shit going on right now and can’t keep all their plates spinning at the same time. Maybe they need to believe someone will be there to welcome them back. Maybe it isn’t about you at all. Or maybe you were an asshole and they needed to push you away for their safety and well-being.