Gum on My Shoe

By Kailey Fitzgerald Being in recovery from drug addiction and having a mental illness concurrently can be extremely mentally taxing. On my off days, when I am not keeping up with my daily routines and neglect my self-care mechanisms, my life can seem chaotic and unmanageable. I often say it feels like I am just constantly putting out one fire after another. On the other hand, when I do manage my dual diagnosis well, I am truly happy. Finding coping mechanisms and a healthy daily routine that worked for me took a lot of time and effort through trial and error. What may work for one person, may not work for another. It wasn’t until I went to an addiction treatment center and began true, honest, and rigorous therapy that I finally found what worked for me. Go to Therapy Regularly Going to therapy and giving it a real, honest shot is what saved my life. For years I was repulsed by laying down on some brown over-sized couch and telling some stranger with a medical degree all o...

Photo: Priscilla Du Preez I’ve learned that the best relationships aren’t just about the good times; they’re also about the obstacles you go through together, the undying support, love, and the ways you help each other grow. — Sibyl Chavis Fran and I believe openness and honesty are essential if you want your friendships and relationships to be successful. As we write in our book High Tide, Low Tide : We believe it is healthier to be open about our thoughts and feelings than to dismiss, hide, or avoid them. .... We sometimes get upset or angry with each other, but we deal with discord promptly if it occurs, recognising there is no need to fear even powerful emotions when they can be explored safely. It’s not always easy. Being honest requires mutual respect and trust, a commitment to work through whatever comes up, and the belief that your relationship is worth the effort. Here are three examples where I’ve worked through disagreements and issues honestly with friends. If I can ...

By Julie A. Fast Do you have bipolar, schizoaffective disorder or a different mental health disorder that affects your friendships? I have bipolar and a psychotic disorder, now called schizoaffective disorder. As you can imagine, relationships were difficult when I was undiagnosed and didn’t know how to manage my own behavior! I’d like to share how I progressively righted my often out of control relationships and found more stability and happiness in my daily life. Paranoia and Friendships I lived with undiagnosed psychotic paranoia for many years and it greatly affected my ability to have stable interactions with friends and coworkers. My diagnosis helped me name what was going on in my brain and I finally knew that I wasn’t thinking and acting oddly out of obstinance. I was ill! Even though I now manage my psychosis with a plan that keeps most symptoms calm, I still had to teach myself to live with the symptoms that I can’t always control. I lost friends along the way, b...

By Janet Coburn Originally published in May 2017 at Bipolar Me. While there are professional caregivers, family members often provide care and support for those with bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses. My husband of 35 years is my caregiver. He does a spectacular job – making sure I have my meds, taking me to my appointments, running the errands that I have no spoons to do, keeping the house quiet when I need to sleep, making sure I eat at least one nutritious meal a day. It’s a lot. And there are things I can give him in return. Things he needs. Appreciation . When my father was dying of cancer, my mother was his primary caregiver. One day she came to me, wanting me to tell her that she was doing a good job. She knew that she was. She just needed to hear it from someone else, someone who could tell her that her excellent care had been noticed and appreciated. Appreciation – validation – is the thing that caregivers need most, to replenish themselves, to allow them to...

I’m sitting at a table in Newcastle’s City Library. At my side is the library copy of High Tide, Low Tide , the book I wrote with my best friend Fran. I never tire of seeing it on the shelf. It’s a proud moment for any author; second only to not seeing it because someone has taken it out on loan. I’m waiting for a friend. We’ll meet for coffee and then go for a drink or two; maybe something to eat. We’ll catch up with what’s going on for us. We’ll laugh, share old memories and make new ones. It is at moments like this that I feel most blessed. There were times in the past when I had no one to meet up with. I shared a quote on Facebook yesterday: I don’t chase after people anymore. If they like spending time with me they will do so. (Barry M. Sherbal) I posted it as a reminder to myself. Over the past year or so I’ve realised that chasing after people is unhealthy — for them and for me. I’ve done a lot of it in the past and the results have rarely been pretty. Some friends...

I met up recently with fellow blogger Aimee Wilson and we got talking about poetry and mental health. She showed me the blackout poem she’d created at a writing class run by Northumberland Council . Watch it permission rather I would demanded tolerance was not to be tested increasingly restricted reality reliving   particularly happy distracting not dared to return approved of given up hope Poetry is a new avenue for Aimee but she writes prolifically for her blog I’m NOT Disordered . As she says, “I find writing so beneficial for my mental health.” We agreed there can be a close relationship between mental health and creativity. I shared with her how Fran had never written or been interested in poetry until she met me in May 2011. At the time, she was highly manic. Our early emails and online chat conversations were full of wordplay and had a free-flowing stream of consciousness quality that I found intoxicating. Sparked by that, and my own poetry whi...

Check out our top posts for the past month. Posts are listed by number of page views they attracted during the month, most popular first. It’s Not Just for Kids: Reading Together for Fun and Friendship Friends in Deed: An Interview with Bob Keyes How to Spot a Scripted Relationship and What to Do about It Attending North Tyneside World Mental Health Day Event 2019 Three Things I Wish People Knew about Loving Someone with Mental Illness Old Memories and New: A Stroll down Memory Lane Our Top Posts of the Month (December 2018) Complex Simplicity: The Art of Being Honest Seven Ways You Can Help Fight the Stigma of Mental Illness Hidden Histories: Mining in the North East Our most visited pages were: Contact Us About Us News and Appearances Our books Resources Testimonials