Gum on My Shoe

It’s Sunday and I’m not doing very well. When I’m struggling it’s usually because of difficulties in one of my key relationships, but that’s not the case right now. I don’t feel estranged from or at odds with anyone. Everything is solid. Or was. My low mood may become an issue if I don’t clear it soon. It’s been with me a few days now. It would probably be easier if it was due to a problem with one of my friends; something they’d done, or I’d done. It might not be simple to work through but I’d have a focus. The trigger for this was a work call I was on a few days ago. Colleagues were discussing how we might have to work from home for the remainder of the year; indeed, that we might never return to the office the way we were before lockdown. That’s not a new thought, and at this stage it’s little more than a possibility, but my mood plummeted after that meeting. I’ve adapted to working from home better than I thought I would, but that doesn’t mean I want to be stuck at home fore...

A recent BBC news article reported that since the coronavirus lockdown began in the UK more than half a million people have accessed the twenty-minute suicide awareness course run by the Zero Suicide Alliance (ZSA). Joe Rafferty from ZSA said the true impact of Covid-19 on mental health will not become clear until the pandemic is over, but that “the stress and worry of the coronavirus is bound to have impacted people’s mental health.” He added that “Suicide is a serious public health issue and every single death by suicide devastates families, friends and communities”. According to the Office for National Statistics, more than 6,500 suicides were registered in the UK in 2018, with three-quarters of them among men. The suicide prevention charity Grassroots offers the following statistics: In the UK, 1 in 5 think about suicide in their lifetime, which means there are 4 people who can help. 1 in 4 experience mental ill-health in their lifetime, which means there is nothing unusual...

Monday was the start of Mental Health Awareness Week here in the UK. Dressing for my day working from home I picked through my collection of mental health t-shirts. Andy “Electroboy” Behrman’s KEEP TALKING ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH tee. Gabe Howard’s iconic :): shirt. One each from Bipolar UK, NAMI, No Stigmas, and Stigma Fighters. I chose the No Stigmas one for the start of the week. I made myself a cup of coffee and turned on my work laptop. My new post for Mental Health Awareness Week would be going up on the work intranet. I’d have emails and calls through the week with the mental health and wellness team. Content and activities to plan. But what was I doing, really? Making a difference? Countering stigma? I suddenly felt deflated. Adrift. A fraud. For a moment I was back thirty-five years or so at a CND rally in Hyde Park in London, taking in the sunshine and the music, eyeing up the women in their rainbow coloured tops and faded blue jeans, affronted by the guy on stage declaring...

The theme for this year’s Mental Health Awareness Week (MHAW) is kindness. In a recent article I described sixteen ways we can bring more kindness into our lives , including being kind to ourselves. I’d like to share a few ways I’ve been kind to myself in the past week. 1. Boundary Work Kindness isn’t always easy, whether it’s showing kindness to others, accepting it from others, or being kind to yourself. Kindness isn’t fluffy, soppy, or superficial. At its heart, kindness is about honesty, respect, and maintaining healthy boundaries. I’ve done a lot of work this week on my boundaries, to see which are truly important and protect me from harm, and which are walls my ego has erected to defend an inflated sense of self-worth. It’s tough work but I feel I’m making progress, with the help of friends I trust to be honest with me. That’s kindness in action, right there. 2. A Time to Celebrate I’ve written elsewhere how important it is to recognise our successes and achievements . Yo...

This cute little Gratitude Journal was a gift from a friend at Christmas. I wrote in it more or less every day at first and loved finding at least one thing in the day to be grateful for. Things got in the way, though and I found I was only using it occasionally. I hadn't looked at it since we went into lockdown but last weekend I was thinking about Mental Health Awareness Week and its theme of kindness. I found my Gratitude Journal and read through the things I'd included at the start of the year. I added a few recent things I'm grateful for, like the three and a half hour call I had last week with the friend who gifted me the journal to celebrate our two years of friendship. Maybe you have a gratitude journal too, or a jar, or some other way you choose to remember the little things that can mean so much. Maybe you have a great memory and don't need anything! What are you grateful for today?  

“You can always give something, even if it is only kindness.” (Anne Frank) We are sometimes called upon to provide long-term help or caregiving for friends, family members, or loved ones, but small acts of kindness are no less important and can make a huge difference to a person’s life, including ours. As individuals and as a society we have never needed kindness more than we do now, in the midst of a global pandemic. In recognition of this, the Mental Health Foundation chose kindness as the theme for this year’s Mental Health Awareness Week (MHAW) which runs from 18–24 May. We have chosen kindness because of its singular ability to unlock our shared humanity. Kindness strengthens relationships, develops community and deepens solidarity. It is a cornerstone of our individual and collective mental health. Wisdom from every culture across history recognises that kindness is something that all human beings need to experience and practise to be fully alive. Here are sixtee...

When I set out for my evening walk last Friday I was feeling good. I’d finished my first week working from home after a fortnight’s lockdown vacation and was looking forward to the weekend. The weather forecast held the possibility of rain but I was well prepared. My Doc Martens boots, a micropile fleece and gilet for warmth, and a light raincoat that is past its best but more than adequate for the occasional shower. In a small bag beneath my coat I carried my journal, my favourite fountain pen, and a birthday card I needed to post. I also had my phone and Bluetooth headset. As I headed out I messaged one of my best friends to see if she fancied joining me on a video call. She replied to say she was about to have her dinner. I was disappointed; a little dejected. I loved having company on my walks and a call would have set me up for the weekend after a busy week. I smiled to myself, recognising the frustration and feelings of abandonment that tend to arise when things don’t go t...

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