Gum on My Shoe

What if you were there already and didn’t realise because there was no big red YOU ARE HERE arrow on the map; no neon sign or text alert saying “This is it. You’ve reached that place the others were talking about.” There should be a kiosk selling BEEN THERE T-shirts or badges. Then you’d know. And others would know too. They say if you’ve never experienced something for yourself, you can’t understand what it’s like. I get the point, but it’s not precise enough for me. How similar must my experience be to yours, for me to understand what you’ve been through? Exactly the same? Somewhat similar? Who gets to decide? This is not a trivial question. Depending on the circumstance, it can affect friendships and other relationships. In the health sphere, it can affect access to services, care, and support. Peer support in particular is predicated on the concept of shared experience: Peer support brings together people with shared experiences, and these experiences can vary. For example...

I took a drive with a friend the other day. It was the first time I’d been in a private car in over a year and the first time my friend had driven me anywhere. She has yet to pass her driving test and I was there to supervise so she could gain additional practice. We had a great time and I felt completely at ease in the car with her. Thinking about it afterwards, it occurred to me how important safety, trust, and responsibility are in our lives. Trust and Physical Safety I was supervising but I was very much in my friend’s hands. I trusted her driving ability and sense of responsibility. If she felt confident behind the wheel, that was good enough for me. No matter how experienced we may be, every driver understands what’s at stake when we start the engine and pull out into traffic. We are responsible not only for our own safety but that of our passengers, other road users, and pedestrians. Many of us drive so frequently we take this for granted but it’s worth reminding ourselves...

After attending a men’s health webinar at work, I realised I write very little on mental health for men. I blog about what I’ve learned supporting friends who live with mental illness and other health issues, but almost all those friends are women. I write about my feelings, moods, and self-care, but I’ve never explored men’s mental health as such. In this article I’ve drawn together some key statistics on men’s mental health; crisis and support lines; organisations, books, podcasts; and awareness days. I’ve also selected a number of articles written by men which we’ve hosted here at Gum on My Shoe, and a few posts of my own where I’ve touched on my mental health. Finally, I’ve briefly profiled four men who inspire me: Michael Baker, Jonny Benjamin MBE, Quinn Brown, and Peter McDonnell. I’m grateful to Quinn and Peter for their contributions to this article.   Men’s Mental Health Statistics I struggle to hold statistics in my head for long but here are some numbers from the M...

“We need old friends to help us grow old and new friends to help us stay young.” — Loretta Cottin Pogrebin I had the pleasure recently to meet up with two friends for an urban ramble in my home city, Newcastle upon Tyne. It was my first outing with Paul and Fiona since we first met three years ago on a bench overlooking Derwentwater in Keswick. For anyone interested in our route, we met outside Newcastle’s Life Centre and walked down to the river via Central Parkway and Forth Bank. Passing beneath the Tyne Bridge we continued east along the Quayside as far as the Millennium Bridge. We crossed to the Gateshead side and stopped for coffee and cake at the Baltic gallery café, overlooking the river. Returning to the Newcastle side, we continued east to where the Ouseburn stream meets the Tyne. Turning left, we explored the winding Riverside Walk as far as the City Farm and Cluny music venue, then made our way through Shieldfield, emerging close to Northumbria University. We concluded ...

Check out our top posts for the past month. Posts are listed by the number of page views they attracted during the month, most popular first. Exploring Bipolar Disorder and the Sister Diagnosis of Schizoaffective Disorder. Is My Friend or Sibling Underdiagnosed? Millions Like Me: A Conversation with John Medl Supporting a Friend with Depression Our Top Posts of the Month (June 2021) On the Same Page: Thoughts Inspired While Journaling with a Friend Dear Marty: An Open Letter to Myself How to Write the Best Acknowledgement Page for Your Book An Open Letter to My Bipolar Best Friend Twelve Songs That Remind Me What Caring Is All About How to Be Honest without Losing Your Friends Our most visited pages were: Contact Us Resources About Us News and Appearances Our books Testimonials