Gum on My Shoe

To mark this year’s World Bipolar Day (March 30) with its theme of #BipolarTogether, Fran and I are offering our books for FREE on Kindle for five days between Wednesday March 30 and Sunday April 3, inclusive. In High Tide, Low Tide: The Caring Friend’s Guide to Bipolar Disorder we share what we’ve learned about growing a supportive, mutually rewarding friendship between a “well one” and an “ill one.” With no-nonsense advice from the caring friend’s point of view, original approaches and practical tips, illustrated with real-life conversations and examples. Buy it here . Friendship is a beautiful part of life and an important component of long-term wellness. No One Is Too Far Away: Notes from a Transatlantic Friendship is a collection of articles from our blog which shows that mental illness needn’t be a barrier to meaningful connection; indeed it can be the glue that holds people together. Buy it here . Once the free offer is over the prices will go back to normal. ...

No Pedestals No relationship can flourish if there is a perceived difference in stature or status. It is important to remember that we are all human, all fallible, all flawed. As Fran puts it so well, “We are all perfectly imperfect.” Despite recognising the dangers, we have each been guilty on occasion of putting the other on a pedestal. I am a great support to Fran, and offer a degree of commitment she has rarely known. It was easy in the early days of our friendship for her to see me as some sort of hero or saviour figure. Fran: you are my world.. you are.. my life.. the reason.. of it.. all.. how how how.. do i deserve you..? Martin: Don’t make me into more than I am, Frannie. Fran: ok ok.. for you no pedestal.. you are an oak.. rooted.. grounded.. Fran’s spirit, courage, and resilience have occasionally led me to put her on a pedestal of her own, a situation complicated by her inclination to compare herself unfavourably to other people in terms of health, relations...

And I forget about you long enough to forget why I needed to. (Elisabeth Wagner Rose / Taylor Alison Swift. “All Too Well.”) Last month I shared some of the distraction techniques I use when I’m feeling low. Amongst them was listening to music, although as I noted, “there are times music is unhelpful as a distraction, because so many of the tracks on my playlists have associated memories, meanings, and significances.” That’s the situation I found myself in recently. I’d not listened to any of my YouTube or Spotify playlists for months. I wasn’t ready to confront the thoughts and emotions they were likely to evoke. A few days ago, though, on my first evening walk for a while, I suddenly felt it was time. I opened Spotify and selected my “Good” playlist; a mixed bag of around eighty tracks I’ve collected over the past few years. I used to listen to them day after day on my walks during covid lockdown. That playlist became the backing track to my life as I moved through those days...

Be careful with whom you share your secrets. Don’t forget your best friend has a best friend, and your best friend’s best friend also has a best friend. (Vikrant Parsai) I have a small number of close friends with whom I feel safe enough to be vulnerable and open. A good deal of what we share is personal. Some is intensely private. I trust that what I tell them will be treated with care, and trust myself to handle what they tell me with equal respect. How does that work in practice, though? Do I ever get it wrong? (Spoiler alert: yes.) Do they? (Also yes.) I’ll focus on secrets shared with friends, but the same principles apply no matter who we choose to share with, or who shares with us. Expectations and Behaviour Pause for a moment and consider the following words. Secret . Private . Confidentiality . Trust . What do they mean to you? Do you know what they mean to your friends, and others you share your secrets with? We tend to assume everyone understands these concepts in ...

Check out our top posts for the past month. Posts are listed by the number of page views they attracted during the month, most popular first. 2021: My Year in Photos and Blog Posts The Miracle of Light: An Open Letter to My Friend Marty Laughing Out Loud Too Small for Comfort: When Life Closes In On You How to Write the Best Acknowledgement Page for Your Book Exploring Bipolar Disorder and the Sister Diagnosis of Schizoaffective Disorder. Is My Friend or Sibling Underdiagnosed? Talk. Listen. Change Lives. Time to Talk Day 2022 Our Top Posts of the Month (January 2022) Coffee and Scribbles: My Ten Favourite Writing Cafes Nine Ways I Distract Myself When I'm Feeling Down Our most visited pages were: Contact Us Our books News and Appearances About Us Resources Testimonials