Gum on My Shoe

If we want to support our friends and loved ones, it is important to understand what we mean when we talk about illness and wellness. It would be easier if everyone approached these topics in the same way, but this is not always the case. Our attitudes towards illness and wellness are heavily influenced by our lived experience, as well as broader societal values and beliefs. In this article I want to discuss three models of illness and wellness which Fran and I have encountered at different times in our lives. The Medical Model This is the standard Western medical, scientific approach, and is how I was trained to think of illness and its treatment when I studied pharmacy at university. According to this model, the body is a complex machine and illness occurs when components fail or malfunction. The patient is the owner or inhabitant of a machine which has gone wrong and needs fixing. Diagnosis and treatment are the responsibility of people trained in the medical specialties an...

In a previous article describing how I distract myself when I’m feeling low, I mentioned that I’d begun learning shorthand. Progress has been slow and I’ve taken a couple of breaks, but I haven’t given up. Last week, a friend asked why I find shorthand so interesting. Her question prompted me to think about my fascination with various writing systems over the years, including practical techniques that help me get my ideas onto the page or screen as simply and easily as possible. Pitman and Elvish: My Teenage Years My interest in writing systems goes back to my teenage years. (That’s a long time ago, before anyone asks!) My mother gifted me a book on Pitman shorthand which she’d used herself when she worked in an office. I can still hear her reciting the consonants as an aide to memorising them: “bee, pee, dee, tee, jay, chay ...” About the same time, I discovered the Middle-earth fantasy writings of J.R.R. Tolkien. I was captivated by the complexity of the world he’d create...

Please be patient with me. Sometimes when I’m quiet it’s because I need to figure myself out. It’s not because I don’t want to talk. Sometimes there are no words for my thoughts. — Kamla Bolanos Having friends you trust and feel safe with is hugely important to our mental health and wellbeing. That usually means people we can talk to when we’re unwell, low, stressed, anxious, frustrated, or angry. Sometimes, though, we need people who can be there for us when we don’t want to talk about how we’re feeling. This isn’t as easy or obvious as it seems because we often hide how we’re feeling. Like most of us, I do the faking fine thing. I tell people I’m fine when I’m not, or downplay how I’m doing. That might be because I know the feeling’s going to shift on its own, because I want to figure things out for myself, or to avoid being bombarded with questions, suggestions, and fixes. I’m okay with that, but it feels better when I don’t have to fib. Sometimes, I want to let my frien...

It’s easier to be there for someone if you understand what they’re going through. But how can you understand if you’ve never been there yourself ? That’s the situation I found myself in when I met my best friend Fran for the first time in 2011. Fran lives with three chronic health conditions I’d never experienced and knew nothing about: bipolar disorder, chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS/ME), and fibromyalgia. Being her friend didn’t mean I had to become an expert in any of these but I wanted to learn as much as I could, so I could be there for her as effectively as possible. I’m sharing my education journey in the hope it might help someone in a similar position. I’ll focus on bipolar disorder but the principles apply no matter what mental or physical health condition your friend or loved one lives with. It’s also relevant to other lived experience including abuse, bereavement, discrimination, self-harm, stigma, suicidality, or trauma. Whatever your friend’s situation, appr...

Check out our top posts for the past month. Posts are listed by the number of page views they attracted during the month, most popular first. Men and Mental Health: Resources and Heroes It’s Not Enough: Exploring Loneliness for Mental Health Awareness Week Up-Blips of Emotion: Exploring the Strange Things That Make My Weird Little Heart Happy How to Write the Best Acknowledgement Page for Your Book Here We Are Again: How to Support Your Friend When Their Symptoms Return Exploring Bipolar Disorder and the Sister Diagnosis of Schizoaffective Disorder. Is My Friend or Sibling Underdiagnosed? How to Choose the Perfect Image for Your Blog Post 10 Ways to Spend Quality Time with Your Friend That Don’t Involve Talking about Mental Health Our Top Posts of the Month (April 2022) How to Use a Spreadsheet for Wellness and Self-Care Our most visited pages were: Contact Us Resources About Us News and Appearances Our books Testimonials   Photo by Katar...