Gum on My Shoe

Suicidal ideation has less power when it is verbalised. — Fran Houston I’ve written a few “things I’ve learned about” articles, including Three Things I Wish People Knew about Loving Someone with Mental Illness , Three Things I’ve Learned About Mental Health Medication , and Four Things It’s Hard for a Mental Health Ally to Hear . This time, I want to talk about two of the most challenging topics of all, suicidality and self-harm. In doing so I’ll draw on my experience with Fran and other friends over the past dozen years or so, as well as training I’ve undertaken including Mental Health First Aid (MHFA), ASIST, and a range of other suicide prevention and awareness courses. I’ll close with a selection of relevant articles we’ve shared previously, and links to crisis lines and other support resources. 1. You know someone who lives with thoughts of suicide or self-harm According to suicide prevention charity Grassroots , one person in four in the UK experiences me...

A friend knows when to talk things through, but, most of all, a friend knows when to keep absolutely quiet. And to put the kettle on. — Pam Brown Standing at the kitchen door as the kettle boils for my final drink of the day, I’m flooded with memories. They don’t come all at once, or in order, but they come. Maybe they’ve been here all along, and I’m simply dipping in and out of them. My triggers are mundane. The line of neighbouring roofs beyond the ivy-covered fence. The washing line that bisects the little square of garden. The grasses and nettles bordering the short path to the gate. The memories that arise span decades but the most potent are from 2020 and 2021 when lockdown brought the walls of my world in close. Local walks for exercise or groceries. Working from home. And this garden. Evening video calls with friends I could no longer meet in person. My drink — coffee or beer — on an upturned cardboard box on the grass beside my chair, or the little table I...

I’m not interested in competing with anyone. I hope we all make it. — Erica Cook The inspiration for this post was an unattributed quotation I saw on social media: “You can’t compete with me. I want you to win too.” It reminded me of a similar quotation by psychologist and author Erica Cook: “I’m not interested in competing with anyone. I hope we all make it.” Later that day, I saw another meme along similar lines: “It’s OK to clap for your friends if their dream takes off before yours.” Bowing to coincidence, I thought I’d write about success and competition. It’s not the first time I’ve done so. A few years ago I discussed competition and collaboration in the blogging world. More recently, I explored living second-hand through the experiences of other people. Whether we’re living vicariously or not, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to the people around us. For one reason or another, we tend to judge their lives, situations, and successes, as better or ...

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