Gum on My Shoe

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. — Unknown This post was inspired by an evening conversation with Fran. Despite having achieved plenty that day, she felt the weight of the many items still on her to do list. We’d talk for a little while about this and that, but her mind kept returning to all the things she felt she had to do. It was overwhelming. I reminded her that it’s hard to feel you’ve achieved enough when the number of things to be done is uncertain or uncountably large. “It’s okay,” I said. “You can clock out for the day now.” The workplace analogy of clocking (or punching) in and out is a useful one. It helps us set boundaries for how much we can reasonably expect of ourselves. Our responsibility is to do what we can, not to do everything. Show up for the day and clock in, do the best we can, then clock out. The amount we achieve in any twenty-four hours will vary. Some days we’ll have plenty of energy and focus. Some days our en...

To do nothing at all is the most difficult thing in the world, the most difficult and the most intellectual. — Oscar Wilde The inspiration for this post came on one of my regular lunchtime walks. I was on a call with Fran, sharing the experience of my walk with her and catching up on our respective days. I was looking ahead to the weekend and mentioned how rare it was for me to not have a blog topic ready to work on. Fran thought for a moment, then asked “Do you ever just do nothing?” In that moment, I knew my search for a topic was over. It’s very rare that I take time to “do nothing.” It would be interesting to explore why that is. So here we are. There’s an irony, of course. I’m writing about doing nothing instead of actually doing nothing. Whatever that means. Doing literally nothing would be akin to placing oneself in a sensory deprivation tank. I know people who’ve done that and found it valuable. I’ve thought of trying it myself, despite the less than restful experience...

To the dumb question “Why me?” the cosmos barely bothers to return the reply: Why not? — Christopher Hitchens, Mortality Death has been on my mind a good deal in the past year. I wrote two articles on end of life planning: Letting Go of the Balloon: End of Life Planning for the Overwhelmed and How Much Do You Want to Know Me? Preparing to Write My Obituary . I also explored how it feels to be in my sixties and took a look at how many years may be left to me. These are important topics and I enjoyed the challenge. But what of death itself? What do I think and feel about the fact that one day I’ll no longer be here? That’s what I want to address in this post. The Stilling of the Pool In an interview for The Guardian published in May 2011 (coincidentally the month Fran and I met) the late theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking expressed his views on the idea of an afterlife. “I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail,” he said. “Ther...

A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men. — Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator This post was inspired by a recent chat conversation with Fran. Apropos of nothing, she messaged me the following seven words. Martin Camus cup straight out of HTLT She’d found the entry in her calendar but couldn’t remember putting it there or what it signified. For several minutes, we tried to work it out. Fran thought the first three words might be a reminder to buy me a Albert Camus-related mug for my birthday. She knows I’m interested in the philosopher’s work, especially his doctrine of Absurdism. I have a Camus t-shirt and have blogged about him previously. Then again, Fran thinks of me as Marty not Martin, and why write cup instead of mug? HTLT refers to High Tide, Low Tide: The Caring Friend’s Guide to Bipolar Disorder but there’s no mention of Camus or philosophy in our book at all. Something that is straight out of HTLT is the paradox of words a...

Check out our top posts for the past month. Posts are listed by the number of page views they attracted during the month, most popular first. The Box on the Shelf: A Strategy for Handling Difficult Issues and Situations Shhhhhhh! A Friend’s Guide to Secrets Twelve Songs That Remind Me What Caring Is All About You Are Not Alone: Celebrating Community for Mental Health Awareness Week The Dun Cow: A Few Thoughts on Friendship for Mental Health Awareness Week It’s Time to Talk. But What If You Don’t Want To? Thank You Anyway: The Gift of Ingratitude It’s Not Enough / Never Enough Everything Is (Not Always) Possible: Managing Hope and Expectation With Chronic Illness One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy: Encounters With the Absurd Man Our most visited pages were: Contact Us News and Appearances Our books About Us Resources Testimonials   Photo of Kingston Park Metro station by Martin Baker.