Gum on My Shoe

We use 'bipolar disorder' throughout this book, but it's important to recognise that the term covers a range of symptoms which may be experienced differently by different people. Reflecting this, people are often given a more specific diagnosis such as bipolar I (type one bipolar disorder), bipolar II (type two), rapid cycling, or cyclothymic disorder (cyclothymia). We will look at these labels in more detail later but in simple terms bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness or manic depression, is a disorder of the brain which manifests as abnormal levels of mood and energy. Everyone experiences life's ups and downs, and it can be difficult to draw clear lines between the extremes of the 'normal' range and mild or early stages of a bipolar episode. It may not be obvious to others but someone with bipolar disorder needs to constantly monitor where they are against a shifting landscape characterised by regions of relative stability, depressi...

This article is excerpted from chapter 2, “The Illness Experience: Understanding Your Friend’s Diagnosis and Symptoms,” of our book High Tide, Low Tide: The Caring Friend’s Guide to Bipolar Disorder . My father had chronic rheumatoid arthritis throughout his adult life. My memories are of a man progressively crippled by disease who refused to let it affect him more than absolutely necessary. He died when I was eighteen years old from infections his body was unable to fight after decades on oral steroids. My mother once asked me if I had resented the limitations his disability imposed on our family. The question astounded me. It had never occurred to me to think like that. In my early twenties, I developed dermatitis on my hands and arms. It was painful and inconvenient, but I accepted it as something over which I had little control. It eventually cleared and has not returned. A few years later, I was hospitalized following an episode of acute abdominal pain and bleeding. The c...

Directly or indirectly, illness visits and affects our lives in different ways. Our attitudes towards illness (and the ill) are influenced by our experiences, as well as our broader values and beliefs. No matter what views we hold it’s important to remember that others may think differently about what it means to be ill and how best to respond to the challenge. We support those living with illness best if we can respect our differences and remain open, caring and non-judgemental. Gum on My Shoe: One Step at a Time with My Bipolar Best Friend Chapter 2, "The Way of Illness".

A friend on Twitter shared a link today to her blog article about needing to let go of unhelpful, toxic people and relationships. Her words brought me face to face with the realisation that there have been many times in my life when, for one reason or another, someone has needed to let go of me . It's not an easy thing to admit to oneself, but I don't have to look too far, or too far back, to find examples. We're each responsible for how we handle, or attempt to handle, the situations in which we find ourselves, but that doesn't release us from responsibility for how we behave towards, relate to and interract with others. We may not know their histories, their pain, their needs, their triggers, and it is okay to get it honestly wrong sometimes, but we need always to be aware that our lives impinge on others and that good intentions don't give us the right to wade in, unannounced or heedless of our impact on those around us. I've never intended to hurt or m...

This week I changed the username of my personal Facebook page from nothingrhymes to marty.baker.author. That is: www.facebook.com/nothingrhymes has changed to www.facebook.com/marty.baker.author (the dots are optional so martybakerauthor works just as well). Nothingrhymes referred to a line in a poem I wrote many years ago. For Richard’s room This room    your room    our room all she has seen and shown us - pain and passion truth and tears honestly like laughlines on a face too used to sorrow comprimised.     Picture and prose her walls display the madness of our little world where innocence and we find consolation. In the REAL WORLD nothing rhymes and no one cares yet here           still, even                     the furniture loves us. Maybe we’re right but...

Two nights ago Fran and I baked lemon squares. To be more accurate, Fran baked lemon squares while I read out from the recipe and kept an eye on the time while they were in the oven. It’s not the first time we’ve baked or cooked together. First time it was banana bread. Second and third time it was banana bread too (it was good banana bread!) After that we made chicken soup. Proper chicken soup, with a carcass, onions, mushrooms, celery, lentils, the works. When I used to make chicken soup I’d throw in a handful of pearl barley. Fran wanted rice. Lots and lots of rice. I did my best to dissuade her (“Frannie, wait... Nooooo!”) but that’s another story. Where was I? Oh yeah, lemon squares! As you can see from the photo, they came out really well (the photo was taken just after the tray came out of the oven and before they were cool enough to cut up). It’s just a shame I won’t get to taste them! Most of the time living 3,000 miles apart on opposite sides of the Atlantic is a minor in...