Gum on My Shoe

I took a break from Facebook recently, partly because a handful of people told me I was posting too much.. and partly because their judgments affected my health.. What I learned from the experience was that Facebook has value for me.. It feeds me.. When I am flat on my back in pain and fatigue my ability to get out and about is severely restricted, Facebook brings the world to me.. Why is that a bad thing?.. Why are people offended that I post too much and have too many friends and too much fun?.. Or maybe they are fed up with me posting about mental illness?.. Others enthusiastically encourage me to post both my words and photos because it interests and helps them.. Who would you have me listen to?.. What you probably don’t realize is that Facebook is part of my wellness toolbox.. Many times I have little or no energy to be out in the world.. Facebook keeps me connected, and connection helps me stay away from the edge.. Suicidal thinking is a daily presence in my world....

Hey everyone! It’s been a while since my last blog post . A lot has happened in the meantime, not all of it good, but this time I definitely have some good, and hopefully inspiring, news to report! I’ve been working on a fantasy novel for nearly three years now ( check out my author page ). I had been making steady but slow progress, mainly because living with CFS, depression and IBS takes up a lot of my energy. My fortunes changed this past June, when I was contacted by a representative of Nordland Publishing , a great little publishing company based in Norway. After a lot of Skype calls I was invited to join a group of writers who pool ideas and help each other. I can’t overemphasise how good it has been for me; since meeting them I’ve finished the first draft of Book 1, transformed my plans into a trilogy and made it a lot more streamlined. The group I’m with are all great people and it’s been a huge boon for me. I have saved the best...

We are proud to showcase an original piece by lyric fusion poet Alzenira Quezada, a.k.a. Lady Zen . Some time ago, Fran was moved deeply by Lady Zen’s performance of “Quicksand” at a bar in Portland , Maine. She recently approached the artist to request a written version. “I remember so well the three dimensional inloveness I felt when you performed it at MJ’s. Inside myself I correlated the quicksand to mental illness and the wiggling to the struggle for life.” What Lady Zen wrote for Fran is more than a transcript of her live performance. In Fran’s words, “Your offering in a more documentary vein expanded my thinking. Thank you.” “How to Get Yourself Out of Quicksand” is presented with the author’s permission. How to Get Yourself Out of Quicksand by Alzenira Quezada It was one of those nights when I wanted to turn off my mind and watch mindless television when I surfed upon a documentary about wha...

Many years ago when my life completely fell apart I cried like no one. I lost everything, outside and inside. The betrayal of my body took the cake. Every day for 2-3 hours for 2 years I wept. It was Niagra Falls weeping. And wailing. I played Melissa Etheridge while I was lain in my exquisite tub and let it all rip. I thought I would get to the end of it. That somehow if I cried enough my life would resume and get better somehow. Well no. I cried until there was not one more tear left. I gingerly picked up the broken pieces of my world and simply crawled baby steps. The only other option was death. I was close. I went to the woods of Maine. Where my eyes were like dried raisins. No matter if I was sad I could get no relief from tears no more. No relief at all. Today I have tears. Again. They squeak out like mice. And they are welcome. Fran  

Reach out and show you care. Friendship is good medicine and being present is the greatest gift of all . (Fran Houston) Fran’s op-ed article Maine Voices: Time for mental health awareness was published in the Maine Sunday Telegram on October 4, 2015, marking the start of Mental Health Awareness Week . In it she described her history of mental illness, and her experiences working with psychiatrist George McNeil. Dr. McNeil gave me what I needed most — the sense of being heard. Somehow, I learned to be human again. Somehow I began to create habits for myself and grew a life I wanted. As my self-worth got woven together, I began to care. With Dr. McNeil’s help, I got better. I am not cured. My moods still swing. My symptoms still flare. But I now know how to surround myself with good souls who hold my hand while I try to balance on the seesaw of bipolar disorder. And I have tools in my wellness toolbox. Fran’s heartfelt account resonated with many ...

What an amazing week this has been. A week of awareness. A week of passionate and compassionate people making a difference. I had an opinion piece in the Maine Sunday Telegram and attended two local events; an It Takes A Community public forum for Maine Behavioral Healthcare , and a fundraiser evening for mental health non-profit Family Hope featuring humorist Tim Sample of the Maine Humor Company. It was hard for me. I don’t do events well. I get social anxiety. I get exhausted. My pain flares. My thoughts race. I can’t hear well. I can’t see well. It costs me. But the reward was gold. Attending these Mental Health Awareness Week events gave me the best gift ever. The reminder that there are people who care. One soul there had undergone ECT every 2 weeks for 17 years. Forced. We all were riveted. Speechless. Breathless. I met someone who helps those in extreme situations and shared how this affected me. How amazing it is that there are many reaching o...