Gum on My Shoe

The most anguishing dilemma with chronic illness is when you want to stretch yourself to do something you love, but you know it will challenge your health. A part of you hopes all will be well, hopes maybe you’re getting better, hopes this time you can leave your cage behind. So you do the thing. And like clockwork the giant rubber band slaps and snaps and zaps you back further behind than you were before. Going to the doctor doesn’t help. No answers there. Drugs can’t touch it. There is only the quiet endurance of rest for as long as it takes to regain some ground and pray your mind doesn’t go beforehand. And that your friends don’t leave. Fran Houston 3/22/16  

By Roiben Being ill and signed off work is almost par for the course for most long-term conditions. I say this as someone with more than one such condition. I have had more sick days than “average” and have been officially signed off work more than once. As I write this I have been signed off sick from work since November 2017, with a return to work set for 5 March 2018. I have used my time off to actively work on improving my health and well-being. Specifically, my Mental Health, which is the reason for being signed off. So, what can someone do to make being signed off sick, and the subsequent return to work, as smooth and successful as possible? Firstly, I would recommend having a good working relationship with your HR (Human Resources) contact. Try not to see them as the enemy (as some stigma and work cultures can make them seem). Be honest with them – they cannot help you if you do not express your needs and how you are doing. Once signed off, keep in contact with your wor...

By Sarah Fader In a funny way, anxiety can be addictive . It’s something about that rush, that feeling that you are high on adrenaline even if it’s a negative feeling. You get used to running on anxiety autopilot and you want to keep that ship going. You are accustomed to panicking; you leave things to the last minute so that you can get that energy rush in order to make it happen faster. That's the weird thing about mental illness, it can work for you instead of against you and it's unpredictable when it will do that. Being aware and talking about what you're dealing with is essential to coping with mental health issues. Back to anxiety; when I was in college I used to wait until the last minute to do my term papers because I felt like that adrenaline was something that was going to help me. Now I know that it’s not necessarily helpful but actually makes me more anxious and can harm my mental health. Still, there is this addictive quality to panic. Even though legit...

The only normal people you know are the ones you don’t know very well . (Anna Foster) Last week I attended the launch event for Lucy Nichol’s new book A Series of Unfortunate Stereotypes , published by Trigger Press, at Waterstones bookshop in my home city of Newcastle upon Tyne. My first contact with Trigger Press was in August 2017 when I was introduced to Stephanie Cox by author Anne Goodwin. I had met Anne in 2015 at the launch event for her first novel, Sugar and Snails . Stephanie reviews books for her blog Words Are My Craft . I asked if she’d consider reviewing our book , and she said yes! (You can read her fabulously detailed and insightful review here .) Stephanie is Assistant Copy Editor at Trigger Press which specialises in mental health titles. I began following Trigger Press on Twitter ( @trigger_press ), as well as some of their authors including Lucy Nichol and Karen Manton . (Karen recently guested here at Gum on My Shoe , sharing her story and talking about he...

By Sarah Fader One of the most foundational parts of living with mental illness is structure and routine. This can be applied to a multitude of areas in your life. Whether it's your career, friendships or romantic relationships, things need to feel concrete and defined. When you have a mental illness, having a schedule and routine to follow is imperative. When things are ambiguous that's when you get into trouble. If you're unsure of what your day is going to look like you might feel anxious or out of sorts. If you are not certain of the boundaries in a romantic relationship , this can make you feel nervous, insecure or even depressed . This is not something that you need to worry about if possible. If there are ways to avoid feeling down or anxious about a relationship or an ambiguous situation at work, then these techniques should help. There are things that we could obsess about when we don't know the perimeters or the boundaries of a relationship. When you have...

By Karen Manton First Experience of the Illness My first experience of Bipolar disorder was at the tender age of seventeen years. I had just commenced my first full time post working for the local authority. I was also in quite a destructive relationship. The first symptom that I had was insomnia. I was going to bed of an evening but just finding that I was unable to sleep. My mind was racing with thoughts and it was as though no matter how hard I tried I just could not switch my brain off. The first night passed and I was aware that I had not had a wink of sleep. Soon one night turned into more until eventually I had not slept at all in a whole week. By this time, I was totally past myself. I can recall leaving my home to catch a bus to work and feeling like this very tiny person in a big world. When I arrived at the office I could no longer concentrate. I did not have a clue what I was doing anymore and could simply not focus. My manager was aware that I was very poorly and w...

When I am depressed I yawn a lot. It’s as if I can’t take a breath or don’t want to. I sleep a lot and can’t wake up. And it takes forever to do one task if it indeed gets done. I just spent a month in Mexico where I pushed all my thoughts aside and intensely lived in the moment. Many things were wonderful, some not so much. Living alongside bipolar is not an easy thing to do especially when traveling. Coming home I began unravelling and everything stopped. I was really sick in body and mind. I second guessed everything. The only thing I hung onto was that I was really proud of myself to do such an amazing thing. There are those who don’t understand. I try to stay away from them. Understanding friends I cling to for they help me integrate in a healthy way. I continue to welcome myself home. Fran  

Check out our top posts for the past month. Posts are listed by number of page views, most popular first. Our Mexican Adventure, Part Four: Far in Miles, Close in Heart and Care Our Mexican Adventure, Part Two: “Well, the Good Thing Is…” Our Mexican Adventure, Part Five: It’s What We Do Our Top Posts of the Month (January 2018) Our Mexican Adventure, Part Three: “Did We Just Buy a Condo?” Get It Right When Asking for Help with Bipolar Disorder, by Julie A. Fast OCD Makes My Life Hard Bipolar Disorder and Psychosis: There Is Help and There Is Hope, by Amy Gamble Time to Talk, Time to Listen, Time to Care Our Mexican Adventure, Part One: “I Got My Crew” Our most visited pages were: Contact Us Resources Our book: High Tide Low Tide About Us News and Appearances Testimonials