Gum on My Shoe

Your journey as friends reminds us that mental illness doesn’t change what friendship is all about: being there for those we love. — Bridget Woodhead Official statistics vary but received wisdom is that one in four adults lives with a mental health condition. Within my social circle the ratio is much higher. Of the ten people I love and care about most, eight live with a diagnosed mental health condition or have experienced mental health difficulties in recent years. Among my closest friends it’s five out of five, including my best friend Fran. Here are three things I wish people knew about loving someone who lives with mental illness. It’s Different for Everyone My loved ones live with a variety of mental health conditions and symptoms including anxiety, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder (BPD), depression, visual and auditory hallucinations, suicidal thinking, and self-harm. Some live with more than one of these. Several also have physical health cond...

It’s been quite a week, one way or another. At times I’ve been as low and despairing as I have in months; at others I’ve felt grounded and whole. Here are ten things I’ve learned about myself in the process. Maybe some of them will resonate with you too. 1. Things Are Shitty Sometimes It’s rare for me to feel so low, stressed, or overwhelmed that it interferes with my day-to-day life. Mostly I move through upsets and difficulties fairly smoothly. But sometimes even my tried and tested strategies for making it through bad days fail me. The best thing I can do then is accept I’m struggling. That’s not easy, because my life is generally stable and secure. I have a home, a family, a job, financial security, amazing friends, and decent health. What is there for me to feel overwhelmed by, anxious or low about? I’m aware of the danger such thinking presents, however. “I’ve no right to be struggling” stops people seeking the help they might need. So yes, my life gets shitty too someti...

There’s nothing inherently wrong with having a bad day. It’s natural, I would even say healthy, for our mood to fluctuate in response to whatever is going on around us. On the other hand, no one wants to stay stuck in a rut. Here are ten techniques I use when I’m having a rough day. Several of them feature in my Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) . It’s worth saying these are not fixes or solutions for anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions although they might form part of a person’s wellness toolbox. They help me weather the ups and downs of life and I offer them on that basis. 1. Go for a Walk I’ve written elsewhere about how important walking is to my wellbeing. It’s my go-to strategy when things are getting me down. Walking allows me to acknowledge whatever feelings are present for me, experience them, and then let them go . I sometimes use the “hot coals” technique I learned from Fran. I close my hand at my chest, taking hold of whatever feeling I wish...

By Kailey Fitzgerald Growing up, I always felt like I didn’t fit in; I felt like I was a little off when compared to my peers. I had this terrible and seemingly constant feeling in the pit of my stomach when I would try to talk to other kids, and a ringing voice in my head that told me I wasn’t good enough. When I would accomplish something, I would find the reasons that it didn’t amount to anything and head down on a path of self-destruction. Everything appeared perfect from the outside, but from the inside, I was absolutely falling apart. I managed to maintain until I was around twelve years old. I started to have violent emotional outbursts that I couldn’t seem to control, and it began to affect my relationship with my mom. She noticed that I wasn’t behaving normally and decided to send me to a psychiatrist. At first, when I was diagnosed with Intermittent explosive disorder and social anxiety I thought my whole life was over. I was only twelve years old and society had led...

Check out our top posts for the past month. Posts are listed by number of page views they attracted during the month, most popular first. The Stranger on the Bridge and Other Stories of Friendship and Support 21 Things You Didn’t Know About Marty Bipolar and Saying No: Why I Can’t Always Do Fun Things with You Four Things It’s Hard for a Mental Health Ally to Hear (And Why It’s Important to Listen) Our Top Posts of the Month (July 2019) Complex Simplicity: The Art of Being Honest Six Things I’d Quite Like to Do in 2019: A Midyear Update The Efficacy of Electroshock: a Personal Story I Will Rise Our Top Posts of the Month (December 2018) Our most visited pages were: Contact Us About Us Resources Our books News and Appearances Testimonials