Gum on My Shoe

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose. The more things change, the more they remain the same. — Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr In this article I’m going to explore some thoughts concerning change and unchange that I’ve wanted to write about for some time. The Words Remain the Same Although I’ve kept a diary since I was fourteen years old, I rarely look back over what I’ve written. I might flick through my current journal to remind myself how I felt a week or so ago, but once a volume’s filled and put away, it tends to stay closed. The exception was when Fran and I were writing High Tide, Low Tide . I read every diary entry I’d written from our first meeting in May 2011, sourcing material to use in our book. A few weeks ago, though, I decided to read one of my old journals, and chose the A4 day-to-a-page diary for 1984. It was a year of significant change: my first full year in London after graduating from university, a role as best man at the wedding of my two closest friend...

So again, it’s time to examine your “shoulds.” “Shoulds” are so often the assimilated wants of other people and of your culture. — Philippa Perry, The Guardian , October 17, 2021 This article was inspired by a short exchange on social media. I said I’d completed one blog post and was pondering what to write next. A friend replied: “Write about pondering what to write!” It brought a smile, reminding me of the time I was struggling to write, and ended up writing about exactly that . I smiled too, because I’d had to consciously avoid saying “I’m pondering what I should write about next.” That word — should — slips so readily into our sentences, even when we know we should avoid it. Ooops. See what I mean? Perhaps you’re wondering what all the fuss is about. What’s wrong with should ? It’s a word. It is, indeed. It can be used in a variety of ways but they tend to fall into one of two categories. Implying a sense of duty or imperative. (I should have phoned my mother ye...

You truly are someone I can rely on in an emergency and at all other times. In this post I want to explore what it means to be someone your friends can rely on. That might not seem all that special or unusual. Isn’t that what friendship is about? To an extent, yes. Friendship, certainly the mutually supportive kind I value most, implies a degree of commitment and trust that you’ll be there for each other. On the other hand, I think most of us would agree they have one or two friends they’d unthinkingly turn to in moments of need or crisis. It’s not that those friends are better or more important than the rest. Dependability is one role in the repertoire of caring, but it’s not the only one and it has consequences. What’s it like to be that kind of friend? Maybe you are already. Maybe you wish you were. Maybe you wish you had one. Let’s take a look. The Steadfast Friend Two words came to me when I began writing this piece: constancy (in the sense of being unchangingly faithful an...

Do you believe we should live in a society where everyone has access to proper mental health support? So do we. (Mind) Organised by the World Foundation for Mental Health and observed each year on October 10, World Mental Health Day (WMHD) is an opportunity to raise awareness of mental health issues and to mobilize efforts in support of mental health. This year’s theme is Mental Health in an Unequal World . This theme was chosen [...] because the world is increasingly polarized, with the very wealthy becoming wealthier, and the number of people living in poverty still far too high. 2020 highlighted inequalities due to race and ethnicity, sexual orientation and gender identity, and the lack of respect for human rights in many countries, including for people living with mental health conditions. Such inequalities have an impact on people’s mental health. Here in the UK, mental health charity Mind’s Do One Thing campaign for WMHD invites us to add our voice to those championing...

Check out our top posts for the past month. Posts are listed by the number of page views they attracted during the month, most popular first. How to Write the Best Acknowledgement Page for Your Book High Masking or Faking Fine? The Masks We Wear and Why We Wear Them Millions Like Me: A Conversation with John Medl Men and Mental Health: Resources and Heroes Free Books for World Suicide Prevention Day Maybe Even Save a Life: Our Message of Hope for World Suicide Prevention Day Our Top Posts of the Month (August 2021) Seven Things I’m Grateful for This Week (And One Extra Special One at the End) Warehousing Society’s Estranged: A Review of Matilda Windsor Is Coming Home, by Anne Goodwin Return to Down: How My Baseline Mood Has Slipped from Positive to Low Our most visited pages were: Contact Us Resources About Us Our books News and Appearances Testimonials