Gum on My Shoe

I used to spend hours with my diary each December reviewing the year that was coming to a close. I’d recall favourite moments, examine things that hadn’t gone so well, and summarise my key relationships and friendships. I still write a daily journal, but I’ve not done that kind of end of year review since I posted my 2016 retrospective here on our blog. For a few years, I shared a “things I’d quite like to do” blog post in January, with a review at the end of the year. If you’re interested, you can check how I got on with the Six Things I’d Quite Like to Do in 2017 , the Seven Things I’d Quite Like to Do in 2018 , and the Six Things I’d Quite Like to Do in 2019 . Any plans I might have had for 2020 were overtaken by events. That December, I shared one photo and one blog post for each month of a year that no one could have predicted . I did the same thing at the end of 2021 and at the end of 2022 . Continuing the tradition, here’s my personal look back at 2023 in photos and bl...

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair. — Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities In a recent blog post I discussed how people have different ideas about the most appropriate time to do things. This led me to ponder how people keep track of time. Specifically, how I keep track of what’s going on in my life and the things that have happened to me. As we approach the close of the year, I thought it would be interesting to review some of the time management methods I’ve employed over the course of my lifetime. This post was further inspired by me buying — and almost immediately regretting buying — yet another Filofax planner. More on that later! Personal Diary Regular readers will know that I’ve kept a daily diary since I was fourteen ...

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it is called the present. — Attributed to Alice Morse Earle This piece was inspired by a conversation with Fran about when’s the right time to open Christmas presents. I sent Fran’s gifts early this year, and she wanted to open them as soon as they arrived. We had a fun time on our video call that evening, each in our matching Santa hats. It was November 27. The fact that I was okay with this shows how much I’ve grown since we first became friends in 2011. In those early years, it was important to me that we open our gifts together at the same time, ideally on Christmas Eve. I guess I’m attached to the idea of there being a proper time to do things. I buy and wrap gifts in plenty of time — not least because many will be mailed to various locations in the UK and beyond — but the tree and other decorations should go up no earlier than the middle of December. I stock up in advance on festive fayre — mince pi...

Check out our top posts for the past month. Posts are listed by the number of page views they attracted during the month, most popular first. Getting a Living, Forgetting to Live: A Few Thoughts on My 30 Years Service Our Top Posts of the Month (October 2023) How to Use a Spreadsheet for Wellness and Self-Care The Box on the Shelf: A Strategy for Handling Difficult Issues and Situations Big Boys Cry Too: Challenging Toxic Masculinity for International Men’s Day Shhhhhhh! A Friend’s Guide to Secrets How to Write the Best Acknowledgement Page for Your Book RØRY and AMK: Two Brilliant Bands Living Rent-Free in My Head I Hope We All Make It Writing the Foreword for My Friend’s Book Our most visited pages were: Contact Us Resources About Us Our books News and Appearances Testimonials   Photo by Martin Baker.  

TW: Mention of suicide

Foreword /ˈfɔːwəːd/ Noun: a short introduction to a book, typically by a person other than the author. Would you mind writing a foreword for me? I was happy and proud earlier this year when my friend Aimee Wilson invited me to write the foreword for her new book You’re NOT Disordered: The Ultimate Wellbeing Guide for Bloggers . It was a great honour and responsibility, and something I took very seriously. I remember when Fran and I were looking for someone to write the foreword for our book High Tide, Low Tide: The Caring Friend’s Guide to Bipolar Disorder . It was important to find someone we trusted, who also had relevant experience and standing. For Aimee to extend me that degree of trust meant a great deal, not least because I knew how important her writing in general — and this book in particular — was to her. I’d reviewed Aimee’s previous book Everything Disordered: A Practical Guide to Blogging but this was different and I took care to do the very best job I could f...

Be quiet, big boys don’t cry. — Eric Stewart / Graham Gouldman. “I’m Not in Love.” Observed each year on November 19, International Men’s Day (IMD) celebrates the positive value men bring to the world, their families and communities. It highlights positive role models and raises awareness of men’s well-being, including mental health. It’s also an opportunity to face up to some of the less wholesome aspects of men’s lives and behaviour. For IMD 2022 I explored what being a man means to me . This year, I’m taking a look at toxic masculinity, which affects not only men but also our families, relationships, and wider society. What Is Toxic Masculinity? Let’s start with what toxic masculinity isn’t. It’s not an attack on men, men-shaming, blaming men for all the ills in the world, or denying the rich and varied contributions men make in all walks of life. It doesn’t claim that being male or masculine is toxic or unhealthy. Rather, it highlights some attitudes and behaviours co...

Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live. (Margaret Fuller) A few weeks ago I was listening in to the regular “all colleague call” at work. I was caught totally by surprise when I heard my name called out, to recognise my having completed thirty years of service. The anniversary had completely escaped my notice. In that time, I’ve actually worked for at least five employers, as the agency or company that employed me was outsourced, renamed, bought out, or merged with another entity. For reasons I’ve never quite understood, this all counts as continuous service. Many of my colleagues underwent the same transformation, depending on when they boarded the carousel. There aren’t too many, though, who’ve worked here as long as I have. Almost everyone I started out with has long since retired, left, or otherwise moved on. I follow a few of them on social media, but most were colleagues rather than friends and I’ve not sought to keep the connections alive. In passing, I c...

Check out our top posts for the past month. Posts are listed by the number of page views they attracted during the month, most popular first. Of Fellings and Feelings: An Exploration of Loss and Renewal The Empathy Factor: Exploring Sympathy, Empathy, and Compassion Our Top Posts of the Month (September 2023) Mental Health Is a Universal Human Right Communicate or Hide? The Creative Dilemma Shhhhhhh! A Friend's Guide to Secrets The Box on the Shelf: A Strategy for Handling Difficult Issues and Situations Write without Fear, Edit without Mercy: Eight Questions for the Honest Blogger How to Educate Yourself about Your Friend's Mental Health Condition I Hope We All Make It Our most visited pages were: Contact Us Resources Our books About Us News and Appearances Testimonials   Photo by Martin Baker.  

Artists are people driven by the tension between the desire to communicate and the desire to hide. (Donald Woods Winnicott) The above quotation describes a dynamic I know well. Publishing a new blog post every Wednesday means each week I need to identify a topic and then write a piece I’m happy to present to the world. Some are more personal than others, but whatever the topic there’s a balance to be struck between wanting to communicate and respecting my vulnerability. The Desire to Communicate As I’ve written previously , I can’t imagine a time when I’m not expressing myself creatively in some way. That’s taken many different forms over the years, including clay modeling, painting, woodwork, and photography. Mostly, though, I’ve sought to communicate through my writing. These days that’s primarily through this blog, but in the past it’s included poetry, factual articles, short stories, and books. Friends have described me as having a passion for writing, or it being ...