Gum on My Shoe

i am amazed at how one can be born into chaos, suffer rape, survive cult, endure domestic violence, create a successful career and lose it to discrimination and harassment, then lose physical health, lose mental health, lose partner, lose family, lose home, lose work, lose dog, lose community.. and then, without any of those things being replaced, find the only thing that truly matters.. maybe it’s how a phoenix is born.. ~fjh

Hi everyone, another blog for you, following on from my first back in November. This time I'd like to discuss how our routines get affected by such illnesses, using my own experience, as well as some ways to help yourself. I used to be quite an active person. I was never the Master of Activity of course; indeed my Dad often tried to get me out of the house and do more exercise and not be indoors so much on my laptop, but heyho! But I was able to attend the gym three or four times a week, wing chun (martial arts, for those who don't know) twice a week, and take walks maybe a couple of times a day. That was before my chronic fatigue began. I'm a lot less active now. I can't manage the gym at the moment, haven’t been in eight or nine months. I did try once or twice but I only managed ten minutes or so each time and wound up in bed, exhausted, for days afterwards. The payoff just isn't worth it while I'm like this. My walking has also been greatly reduced, ...

I was chatting online last night with someone I’ve known for a few months. We’ve talked several times before and although we don’t know each other very well, I consider her a friend. Without going into details, she is going through a pretty rough time. I’d offered what I hoped was gentle support as well as suggesting a few options in response to what she was saying and things we’d talked about in the past. She quietly thanked me for my suggestions but mostly didn’t seem to pick up on them. I realised I was perhaps trying too hard, and messaged her privately. The following is excerpted from our conversation, with her permission. You get to tell me if I am being too pushy, suggesting things all the time. You won’t hurt my feelings if you tell me. You are the one living with all this, day after day. Sometimes you need to remember that things aren’t as straightforward as they should be. And that can be because I can’t do something ...