Gum on My Shoe

The little blue steam engine Bunty takes around twenty-five minutes on the two mile journey between Heatherslaw and Etal. The fifteen inch narrow gauge track of the Heatherslaw Light Railway follows the course of the River Till around Letham Haugh, a low-lying meadow near Etal village. On such a short journey, with plenty to see on either side, it wouldn’t seem too big a deal on which side of the tiny carriages you choose to sit, or in which direction you’re facing. It was a big deal, however, for the father of two young children at Heatherslaw station one morning in July. I lost count of how many times he shuffled them between the carriage they’d chosen and the one in which his parents, the children’s grandparents, were sitting patiently. He had very specific, if not entirely logical, opinions on what constituted appropriate seating arrangements for a family excursion on a narrow gauge steam railway. He remained calm, but his need to control what was happening and direct where...

I’m not sad anymore, I’m just tired of this place The weight of the world would be okay If it would pick a shoulder to lean on So I could stand up straight — The Wonder Years, “My Last Semester” This post was inspired by an impromptu conversation in a pub. One rainy morning in July I found myself talking at the bar of the Wateredge Inn with a guy called John. You can read about our meeting in One Must Imagine Marty and John Happy: Two Strangers Discuss the Absurd in an Ambleside Pub . I mentioned it was one of my happy places and that I’ve blogged about it previously. [...] John commented that as I’d written about happy places I could write about miserable places too. It’s taken me this long to think of anywhere I’d refer to in those terms. I tend not to dwell on things that didn’t work out for me, still less on where I was at the time. I kept coming back to the topic, though. Where’s somewhere I’d never want to revisit? Where do I struggle to talk or even think abo...

The inspiration for this post was a recent chat conversation with my friend Jen. In the space of an hour, I twice said something to which she replied “Yeah. Exactly.” That simple validation meant a lot because it confirmed we were on the same page. Thinking about it afterwards, it struck me how important this kind of validation can be. It’s particularly helpful when the experience or situation being shared isn’t common to both people involved. That’s often the case when I’m talking with someone I don’t know, or if we’re discussing their mental or physical health, suicidality or self-harm, trauma, rape, or abuse. I’ve written elsewhere how I approach such situations. How to Give Mental Health Help and Advice to People You Don’t Know How Are You, Really? Eight Things I’ve Learned About Suicidality and Self-Harm I Believe You. It wasn’t Your Fault. You Are not Alone. Being There for a Friend Who’s Survived Rape or Sexual Abuse Are You Okay Talking About This? Trust and Boundar...

Organised by the World Federation for Mental Health, World Mental Health Day (WMHD) is celebrated each year on October 10. As it was last year, the theme for 2025 is “It is time to prioritize mental health in the workplace.” Last October I shared my experience of healthy and unhealthy work environments in Do More of What You’re Good At and Keep Good People Close: What I’ve Learned about Prioritising Mental Health in the Workplace . Elsewhere, I’ve written on the value of teamwork and workplace recognition , and described working with colleagues and senior leaders to achieve accreditation under the Time to Change Employer Pledge Scheme . It’s hard to overstate the importance of a supportive workplace. But what if you’re not in a workplace right now? What if your days don’t fit neatly into a nine-to-five schedule, with face-to-face team meetings, water cooler moments, and lunch breaks in the staff canteen? Maybe you’re self-employed or work in a sector that involves a lot of trav...

Check out our top posts for the past month. Posts are listed by the number of page views they attracted during the month, most popular first. Twelve Songs That Remind Me What Caring Is All About The Box on the Shelf: A Strategy for Handling Difficult Issues and Situations I’m on My Way: Thoughts Inspired by Ed Sheeran’s “Castle on the Hill” Shhhhhhh! A Friend’s Guide to Secrets Thank You Anyway: The Gift of Ingratitude Supportive Disengagement: How to Be There for Your Friend When They Need Space One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy: Encounters With the Absurd Man It’s Time to Talk. But What If You Don’t Want To? It’s Not Enough / Never Enough Return to Normal Our most visited pages were: Contact Us Our Books News and Appearances Testimonials About Us Resources   Photo of Pyracantha (Firethorn) berries by Martin Baker.  

I finally was able to relax into the warmth that is Greece. I spent seven hours on sun-beds. Three at one bay and four at another. This is not normal for me. I’m not a beach person. — Fran Houston Sometimes, being a supportive friend means sitting with them through their darkest moments. And sometimes, it means sitting with them on a beach helping them relax. This blog post was inspired by a recent conversation with Fran on the Greek island of Poros. She was visiting a dear friend of ours, Laurel Seaborn, who is a captain and instructor on a women’s sailing programme based in Athens. You can read about Laurel’s amazing journey in this article for American Sailing. Over the fourteen years we’ve been friends I’ve been Fran’s virtual travel buddy on a number of trips within the US and abroad. In 2018 she spent a month in Ajijic in Mexico. It was the longest she’d been away from home since the three months she spent touring Europe with her parents in 2013. The challenges of th...