Gum on My Shoe

Wednesday December 28, 2016 I wake at 6:45 a.m., half an hour before my alarm goes off. I am always glad when that happens, I enjoy that “Ahhh good, don’t have to get up just yet!” feeling! I check my phone for any messages; snooze a little longer. I turn the alarm off with one minute to go. Rise, wash, dress, and am out of the house by 7:35. As I walk to the Metro station, I message Fran good morning for when she wakes later, and send a photo of the tree and path just outside our court. This is a new tradition, started a couple of months ago when the leaves on that tree were first turning towards autumn. It’s a nice way of sharing how the weather is here in Newcastle without getting all meteorological. By the time I’ve reached the Metro station, I’ve sent good morning messages to two other friends, and a meds reminder to one. Not everyone would appreciate a daily reminder to take their medication, and I would never assume to do so without an invitation. It is a measure of trust ...

It’s surprising to find myself in the spirit of celebration. I am rarely one for special days. Often I am depressed and grumpy, a grinch, and having to fake cheeriness for others. A few years ago I began to look for little bits that light me up and dwell on them. There is so much excess and extravagance that can be overwhelming. My little bit grew every year. This year my table was graced with a garland, not one but two nutcrackers marched into my world, and an amaryllis bloomed magnificently by my window. These bits help me feel less alone. Next year a snow globe will sail on in. I never allowed myself to enjoy these frivolities before. But now I know how to cultivate a bit of joy and share it with dear friends of course. Fran  

The following is excerpted from High Tide, Low Tide: The Caring Friend’s Guide to Bipolar Disorder , by Martin Baker and Fran Houston (Nordland Publishing, 2016). Why Do You Do It? People are sometimes surprised how much time Fran and I spend together, and the degree of support I provide. One friend commented, “Realistically, who’s got the time and energy to unfalteringly provide that level of care and dedication to someone outside your immediate family?” It is a valid question, but misses the point a little. Not everyone with mental illness wants or needs the kind of caregiving relationship that works for us. What they almost certainly do want and need are friends they can rely on. Why is that so important? We all need support and companionship, but people living with mental illness often find friends are in short supply. Changes in mood, energy, and behaviour can strain relationships and leave people isolated precisely when they need help the most. Be the friend who doesn’t wa...

Many persons affected by bipolar disorder turn to the use and abuse of substances. This is a catch-all term for anything with psychoactive properties, whether it be alcohol, street drugs, over-the-counter and prescription drugs, caffeine, or nicotine. Often substance use is done in an attempt to self-medicate, where one tries to manage the highs and lows with the use of non-prescribed substances. This can easily slip into the abuse category, if one is not careful. Once a person has started down the slippery slope of substance abuse, it is easy to get lost in the recesses on one’s mind. Psychological dependency is much more prevalent than physical dependence. When someone has established a pattern of behavior, it is often difficult to break. As one of my literary heroes, Wm. S. Burroughs, has said, “once a junkie, always a junkie.” Relapse is a really grave problem for any person diagnosed with bipolar disorder, especially for those dually diagnosed as “chemically dependent.” I have d...

The following is excerpted from High Tide, Low Tide: The Caring Friend’s Guide to Bipolar Disorder , by Martin Baker and Fran Houston (Nordland Publishing, 2016). I’m Never Giving up on You In late November, Fran took a short trip with a friend to the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health in Stockbridge, Massachusetts. They left on Thanksgiving Day, and Fran thanked me for making such a difference in her life. We both had tears in our eyes. I reprised my “angel in the car” role by helping them navigate to their hotel. I had just come off the computer when Fran messaged me “HELP!” because they were getting close to Kripalu and weren’t sure of the route. So I turned the PC back on, found and messaged her the directions, and then went to bed! The workshop was challenging, but Fran connected well with the people she met. I wrote in my diary, “She’s found some real insights on this trip. It is so good to see how much she is growing.” It was a brief respite. Within days of returning th...

The following is excerpted from High Tide, Low Tide: The Caring Friend’s Guide to Bipolar Disorder , by Martin Baker and Fran Houston (Nordland Publishing, 2016). Three Thousand Miles. Three Hundred Minutes. According to one online calculator, Fran’s home on the north-east coast of the United States lies just over 3,050 miles (4,910 km) from mine in the north-east of England. For most of the year, we are five time zones (300 minutes) apart, so that when it is nine o’clock in the morning for Fran it is two o’clock in the afternoon for me. The time difference reduces to four hours for two weeks in spring, and one week in autumn, because our countries switch between normal time and daylight saving time on different dates. The UK enters daylight saving time (British Summer Time, BST) at one o’clock in the morning on the last Sunday in March, and returns to normal time (Greenwich Mean Time, GMT) at one o’clock in the morning on the last Sunday in October. The US enters daylight s...

Sunday, November 6, 2016 / 1-5 pm EST BLUE / 650A Congress St, Portland, Maine / www.portcityblue.com Join transatlantic best friends Martin Baker and Fran Houston for an afternoon of music, readings and fun, to celebrate their new book, “High Tide, Low Tide: The Caring Friend’s Guide to Bipolar Disorder,” and raise funds for Maine-based mental health nonprofit Family Hope ( www.familyhopeme.org ). “We thank all our friends who have come together to make our book, our event, and our way of looking at mental health a different way of being in the world.” (Martin & Fran) Martin Baker (via Skype from the UK) & Fran Houston Donna Betts, Executive Director, Family Hope Phil Divinsky, Master of Ceremonies Sherrie Phair, singer extraordinaire Kate Beever ( www.mainemusicandhealth.com/staff ) Jason Spooner with Adam Fredrick on bass ( www.jasonspooner.com/band.asp ) About the book We all want to be there for our friends, but when your friend lives with mental illness it can be h...