Gum on My Shoe

As our website and Facebook page declare, “Gum on My Shoe is a creative partnership between best friends Martin Baker and Fran Houston.” That’s clear enough — and true — but you might wonder why we chose such an unusual name and what it means. It dates back to a conversation Fran and I had not long after we met in 2011. “You’re stuck with me now, Fran. I hope you realise that.” “Like gum on my shoe...” The phrase stuck (pun intended!) and when we began planning our book late in 2012 it was an obvious working title for the project, and for our new online platform. You can read the concept statement for our book here . We announced our Facebook page in April 2013. Our blog gumonmyshoe.com launched later that year. Welcome to Gum On My Shoe! I have created this page as a sort of travel diary as I journey along the long and winding (and glorious) road towards publication of the book I am writing in collaboration with Fran Houston. The book’s working title is “Gum On My Shoe: M...

Today we’re talking about “faking fine,” that thing we do when we pretend we’re doing better than we actually are. Why do we do this? Is it a good thing? What happened to being honest? Let’s start by looking at a few scenarios. Fake It Till You Make It This popular aphorism “suggests that by imitating confidence, competence, and an optimistic mindset, a person can realize those qualities in their real life.” This is faking fine to ourselves, although its impact may be felt in our interactions with others. It’s an example of positive or affirmative thinking; of facing your fear and doing it anyway. If you are interested in learning more, I recommend Susan Jeffers’ book Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway . Faking Fine as an Escape Hatch Faking fine can be a way to escape awkward social situations or explaining yourself. Fran expressed this with characteristic aplomb in her essay “Lessons of the Night.” “How are you?” Another hated and seemingly innocuous question. The simple ...

Organised by the World Foundation for Mental Health (WFMH) and observed each year on October 10, World Mental Health Day (WMHD) is an opportunity to raise awareness of mental health issues and to mobilize efforts in support of mental health. This year’s theme is “Mental Health for All: Greater Investment — Greater Access.” In the words of WFMH president Dr Ingrid Daniels: Mental health is a human right — it’s time that mental health is available for all. Quality, accessible primary health care is the foundation for universal health coverage and is urgently required as the world grapples with the current health emergency. We, therefore, need to make mental health a reality for all — for everyone, everywhere. You can read Dr Daniels’ full statement and find further resources including a downloadable information pack on the WFMH website . A joint release on WMHD 2020 by the World Health Organization, United for Global Mental Health and the WFMH is here . Individua...

Check out our top posts for the past month. Posts are listed by the number of page views they attracted during the month, most popular first. How to Write the Best Acknowledgement Page for Your Book Let It Out! How to Vent Powerful Emotions Safely “You’re shaking!”—When Marty Met Frannie Selected Articles for #WorldSuicidePreventionDay 2020 I'm on My Way: Thoughts Inspired by Ed Sheeran's "Castle on the Hill" Our Top Posts of the Month (August 2020) Bipolar and Saying No: Why I Can’t Always Do Fun Things with You Shoes Win Prizes! Enter our summer book giveaway! Exploring Bipolar Disorder and the Sister Diagnosis of Schizoaffective Disorder. Is My Friend or Sibling Underdiagnosed? Bipolar Disorder and Psychosis: There Is Help and There Is Hope Our most visited pages were: Contact Us Resources News and Appearances About Us Our books Testimonials  

Call me irresponsible Call me unreliable Throw in undependable too (James Van Heusen and Sammy Cahn. “Call Me Irresponsible.”) At some point, we’ve all had issues with unreliability. The friend who always turns up late. Workmen or deliveries that fail to show when they’re supposed to. Appointments cancelled at the last minute. Friends who expect us to be there for them but rarely return the favour. These are annoying but we understand life gets in the way sometimes, and we acknowledge we’re not always as reliable as we’d care to admit. Dealing with repeated or chronic unreliability is a different matter. If unresolved it can lead to anger, stress, anxiety, and other health issues. So let’s take a closer look at the hidden cost of unreliability, including the impact our own unreliability can have on others. What Is Unreliability? Dictionary.com defines reliability as things “that may be relied on or trusted; dependable in achievement, accuracy, honesty, etc.” Unreliability ...

I’m on my way Driving at 90 down those country lanes. Singing to “Tiny Dancer” And I miss the way you make me feel, and it’s real We watched the sunset over the castle on the hill (Benjamin Levin and Ed Sheeran. “Castle on the Hill.”) I’m no music aficionado but if I really like a song I’ll play it over and over, to the point where I have the lyrics committed to memory. If I ever find myself at a karaoke with a few pints inside me and a friend at my side there are a few numbers I’d have a go at. “ Let it Go ” (from Frozen), “ Take Me Home ” (Jess Glynne), “ Fairytale of New York ” (The Pogues), “ Stay Stay Stay ” (Taylor Swift) — and Ed Sheeran’s “ Castle on the Hill .” I found Sheeran via a video of Canadian singer-songwriter Shawn Mendes performing “Treat You Better” at Capital FM’s Summertime Ball. The song meant a lot to me but in this recording Mendes opened with lines I didn’t recognise. A quick search revealed they were from “Castle on the Hill” by Ed Sheeran. ...

No place for beginners or sensitive hearts When sentiment is left to chance. (Sade Adu and Raymond St. John. “Smooth Operator.”) Have you ever wondered if you’re too sensitive or need to be more thick-skinned? Have others said it to you? The question came up recently in three separate conversations with friends and I’d like to explore it in some detail because it feels important. I’m wary of labels like “too sensitive” or “too thin-skinned” because they imply there’s some universal scale of sensitivity and you’re outside the acceptable range. There may be some truth in that but careless use of such labels fosters stigma, including self-stigma when we use them about ourselves. That said, my friends used words like these to describe what they’re going through. Setting my reservations aside, what did they mean? What Does “Too Sensitive” Look and Feel like? In their different ways my friends were expressing the belief that they respond to things in unhealthy ways, or to an unh...