Gum on My Shoe

I saw a social media post the other day which invited readers to share a quotation or piece of wisdom that had changed their outlook on life. The first that sprang to my mind was something I learned from Fran in the early days of our friendship. Everyone gets to be who they are. Fran had been telling me about someone she knew, and how their behaviour had irritated her. I made a half-joking comment to the effect that maybe she needed better friends. “No,” she replied. “Everyone gets to be who they are.” “Even the assholes?” I asked, now less than half joking. “Even the assholes.” Something about the exchange stuck with me. Along with other favourite mantras of ours such as no pedestals and baby steps are steps too , Fran and I reprise everyone gets to be who they are from time to time. Why does it resonate with me so much? I think it’s because it’s a healthy reminder that none of us is perfect. We all carry our share of hang-ups and issues around with us. Some o...

This post was inspired by a recent call with Fran, in which she described the house- and cat-sitting she was doing for a friend. The cat was no problem at all, but the house plants were a different matter. There were plants in her friend’s third floor apartment, on the balcony, and on the ground floor. Those on the ground floor were a particular concern. There was a hosepipe but it didn’t work. Keeping the plants alive in the hot weather would mean many trips up and down stairs to fetch water from the apartment in the watering can. I listened as Fran shared how she was feeling about it all. I asked for clarification here and there, but I tried not to burden her with questions. (Fran will laugh when she reads this; to her it probably seems as though I do little but ask questions!) I agreed it was a lot to expect her to carry water down from the apartment, but didn’t pursue the matter. If there was a viable alternative, Fran would have thought of it. She was sharing her frustration...

As bloggers, we tend to write first and then look for images to enhance or accompany what we’ve written. While searching for that perfect image I’ve frequently come across pictures which weren’t what I was looking for, but nevertheless spoke to me. I realised that images can serve as blog prompts or inspirations in their own right. With that in mind, I’ve selected 21 images from Unsplash which I feel could be useful as prompts for mental health blog posts. Each is free to use and the Unsplash licence means no permission is needed to use the images for commercial and non-commercial purposes, although an attribution to the creator is appreciated. I’ve added a few thoughts of my own below each image, but if one moves you in a completely different direction, follow your inspiration! You’ll find these images and more in my Mental Health Blog Prompts collection at Unsplash, so check back there from time to time for more ideas. 1. Pawel Czerwinski Image by Pawel Czerw...

Check out our top posts for the past month. Posts are listed by the number of page views they attracted during the month, most popular first. Exploring Bipolar Disorder and the Sister Diagnosis of Schizoaffective Disorder. Is My Friend or Sibling Underdiagnosed? How to Educate Yourself about Your Friend's Mental Health Condition Our Top Posts of the Month (May 2022) For Brynn and Aimee: Thank You for Being There When I Don't Want to Talk (and When I Do) From Thought to Page: Adventures With Teeline Shorthand and Other Writing Systems How to Use a Spreadsheet for Wellness and Self-Care 10 Ways to Spend Quality Time with Your Friend That Don't Involve Talking about Mental Health How to Write the Best Acknowledgement Page for Your Book Men and Mental Health: Resources and Heroes Medicine, Morality, Personal Growth: Three Models of Illness and Wellness Our most visited pages were: Contact Us Resources About Us News and Appearances Our books...

If we want to support our friends and loved ones, it is important to understand what we mean when we talk about illness and wellness. It would be easier if everyone approached these topics in the same way, but this is not always the case. Our attitudes towards illness and wellness are heavily influenced by our lived experience, as well as broader societal values and beliefs. In this article I want to discuss three models of illness and wellness which Fran and I have encountered at different times in our lives. The Medical Model This is the standard Western medical, scientific approach, and is how I was trained to think of illness and its treatment when I studied pharmacy at university. According to this model, the body is a complex machine and illness occurs when components fail or malfunction. The patient is the owner or inhabitant of a machine which has gone wrong and needs fixing. Diagnosis and treatment are the responsibility of people trained in the medical specialties an...

In a previous article describing how I distract myself when I’m feeling low, I mentioned that I’d begun learning shorthand. Progress has been slow and I’ve taken a couple of breaks, but I haven’t given up. Last week, a friend asked why I find shorthand so interesting. Her question prompted me to think about my fascination with various writing systems over the years, including practical techniques that help me get my ideas onto the page or screen as simply and easily as possible. Pitman and Elvish: My Teenage Years My interest in writing systems goes back to my teenage years. (That’s a long time ago, before anyone asks!) My mother gifted me a book on Pitman shorthand which she’d used herself when she worked in an office. I can still hear her reciting the consonants as an aide to memorising them: “bee, pee, dee, tee, jay, chay ...” About the same time, I discovered the Middle-earth fantasy writings of J.R.R. Tolkien. I was captivated by the complexity of the world he’d create...

Please be patient with me. Sometimes when I’m quiet it’s because I need to figure myself out. It’s not because I don’t want to talk. Sometimes there are no words for my thoughts. — Kamla Bolanos Having friends you trust and feel safe with is hugely important to our mental health and wellbeing. That usually means people we can talk to when we’re unwell, low, stressed, anxious, frustrated, or angry. Sometimes, though, we need people who can be there for us when we don’t want to talk about how we’re feeling. This isn’t as easy or obvious as it seems because we often hide how we’re feeling. Like most of us, I do the faking fine thing. I tell people I’m fine when I’m not, or downplay how I’m doing. That might be because I know the feeling’s going to shift on its own, because I want to figure things out for myself, or to avoid being bombarded with questions, suggestions, and fixes. I’m okay with that, but it feels better when I don’t have to fib. Sometimes, I want to let my frien...