Gum on My Shoe

“The further in you go, the bigger it gets.” — John Crowley, Little, Big Have you ever felt your life getting smaller and smaller, as though it was closing in on you? Maybe a relationship has come to an end. Maybe you’ve lost a friend, or the opportunity to make a new one. Maybe it’s not about people, but your career, education, finances, health, or some other aspect of your life that’s limiting what you can do. Maybe it feels like you’ll never achieve all you hoped to, or live the life you dreamed. It’s important to note there’s nothing wrong with “life lived small” as such. Everyone has their ideas of what constitutes a meaningful life and if yours satisfies you there’s no issue, no matter how others might view it. I’m talking here about feeling life is or has become too small for comfort. That might be because we’ve outgrown our current situation, or because life has closed in around us. Fran and I have discussed this many times in the course of our friendship, mostly in...

By Janet Coburn There’s nothing funny about bipolar disorder. In fact, one of the ways that I know I’m having a spell of bipolar depression is that my sense of humor flies out the window. Nothing brings a smile or a laugh – not my husband’s awful jokes. Not my friend Tom’s silly songs. Not a funny movie like Arsenic and Old Lace . I have been in a spell of depression for a little while now. As I mentioned last week, part of it may be reactive depression. But here’s the thing. Reactive depression feels the same as bipolar depression. You have the same sense of misery, loneliness, helplessness, hopelessness, anomie. But you know what caused it and that it will end pretty soon, relatively, unless you tip over into a true depressive episode, which can last a lot longer than that. But yesterday I laughed. And that was a good thing. It didn’t pull me completely out of my depression, but it let me know that escape was possible, and maybe even starting. It happened like this: My husban...

Check out our top posts for the past month. Posts are listed by the number of page views they attracted during the month, most popular first. 2021: My Year in Photos and Blog Posts The Miracle of Light: An Open Letter to My Friend Marty Nine Ways I Distract Myself When I'm Feeling Down How to Write the Best Acknowledgement Page for Your Book How Sharing Quiet Moments Can Deepen Your Friendship Helping People Helps You Too (But Don't Lose Sight of Your Needs) My 5 Best Buys of 2021 An Open Letter to My Bipolar Best Friend Every Day Essentials for the Successful Blogger Connection, Creativity and Challenge: In Search of My First Best Destiny Our most visited pages were: Contact Us About Us Resources News and Appearances Our books Testimonials  

I’d like to share a few thoughts for Time to Talk Day , which this year falls on Thursday 3 February. The event was launched in 2014 by Time to Change, a campaign run in England to end mental health stigma and discrimination. This year’s event is organised by Mind and Rethink Mental Illness in partnership with Co-Op. As described on the event’s website, “Time to Talk Day is the nation’s biggest mental health conversation. It’s the day that friends, families, communities, and workplaces come together to talk, listen and change lives.” I volunteered with Time to Change from February 2016 until the campaign closed in March 2021. I’ve shared my experiences previously, including a look-back piece written in April last year. You can read some of my previous #TimeToTalkDay posts here: What Does Having a Conversation about Mental Health Look Like? Would You Rather? Thank You for Not Assuming I’m OK In a recent intranet post written for Brew Monday , one of the lead Mental Health ...

Real friendship is when your friend comes over to your house and then you both just take a nap. (Unknown) As we approach Time to Talk Day (February 3), I can only agree with Rethink Mental Illness that “[c]onversations have the power to change lives — helping to create supportive communities where we can talk openly about mental health and feel empowered to seek help when we need it.” The book Fran and I wrote about our now ten-year friendship is founded on our belief that any successful mutually supportive relationship requires a commitment to communication. That commitment is important no matter how close or far apart you are geographically, but it’s especially so for us, given that we live on opposite sides of the Atlantic. There’s nothing quite like having someone you feel safe enough with to talk openly and honestly about whatever’s going on for you. It can help enormously, whether you’re simply sharing what’s happening, exploring options, or asking for — or offering — a...

“We rise by lifting others” — Robert Ingersoll I’ve written quite a bit over the past year or so about how low I get at times, including how my baseline mood has dropped significantly from where it used to be. There are periods when I doubt the value of what I do, both in the workplace and in other aspects of my life. That includes my connections, friendships, and relationships; my writing; and other work in the mental health arena. When I’m in this kind of “what’s the point?” slump, as I have been recently, nothing seems worth the effort because it feels like nothing is going to make a difference. It’s tempting to just give up on things, or at least contemplate doing so. The scary thing is how easily slumps like this can creep up on you, and how tough it can be to shake those self-defeating thoughts and feelings. The good news is, they can and do shift, and sometimes it’s the little things that make a difference . I was reminded of this last week. I’d like to share a few of...

As a change from my usual blog topics, this week I’m sharing my five top purchases from 2021. One way or another, they’ve made their way into my life and feel very much at home here! I’ve listed the items in the order I bought them. 1. NRS Healthcare F19959 Divan Overbed Table After balancing my work laptop on my knees since the start of lockdown in March 2020, I finally splashed out on a table in February to make working from home a little more comfortable. It’s sold as a “divan overbed table” and is the kind you might find in a hospital ward, but it’s perfect for me to work at. At 60 cm x 40 cm (23½ inch x 15¾ inch) it’s large enough to take my laptop, phone on its stand, notebook and pen. It’s very stable and adjusts in height. You can also tilt the table top, although I keep it horizontal. I’ve added a large bulldog clip to one side as a hanger for my headset, and to manage the cabling. When I’m not working, it doubles as my writing and crafting table, both of which a...