Clap along if you know what happiness is to you.
— Pharrell Williams. “Happy.”
Founded in 2000 by the Society of Happy People (SOHP), Happiness Happens Month is observed each August as a celebration of the things that make us happy. To mark the occasion I posted the following request on our social media channels.
ARE YOU HAPPY? I’m writing a blog post about happiness and would welcome your thoughts and experiences. What does happiness mean to you? What makes you happy? What was the last time you felt happy?
The contributions are presented here with only minor edits for clarity.
Happiness for me is when I’m dissatisfied enough to get on with something. Happiness = getting satisfaction out of life. (Paul)
I’m happy as I’ve got my 2 kids by my side, through the good and bad days. (Joanne)
Happiness, for me, is a carefree, safe, content feeling. (Sandra)
I am happy everyday because I am choosing the lifestyle that makes me feel grounded and content. Enjoying the beauty of nature makes me happy. (Pam)
That’s a conversation not a blurb. (Ronin)
Good question ... (Andrea)
I’m genuinely happy all the time. Enjoying my family and friends. Also, the life that was given to me. (Christine)
Generally I see myself as happy ... I’m happy in the morning, when I go to work, at work, and when driving home ... But deep down ... when I think about it, I’m not that happy ... Lots of questions about getting older, losing friends to cancer, should I consider early retirement (to follow other dreams)... Where would I like to live next (we’re looking for a new house to follow our dreams) and what’s on my bucket list ..... So happy yes, but also sad, worried, and thinking a lot. (Charlotte)
I’m happy and grateful all the time, happy to be alive and to have gotten another chance after the two strokes to look after myself better and become my true self at last. (Paula)
Happy. I don’t know if I know or remember what that is. I’m grateful every day. I’m content a lot of the time. What is happy? (Tracy)
The day I learned not to look sideways and run my own race. Been happy and content ever since. (Andy)
Happiness can be that nothing bad is going on around you — family and friends are all well. If a favourite TV programme or film is going to be on, that can make me happier, or if a good band will be playing at a nearby venue (preferably free to enter). (Lesley)
I’ve always mistrused happiness. I’m going to explore this more thoroughly in a separate post but I’d rather live a life that’s creatively engaged, challenged, and fulfilled. I can echo Tracy’s words and say that I don’t know if I know what happiness is, but I’m content a lot of the time. That said, there are things that make me happy. Happy places, where my heart and mind feel at ease. Music can make me happy, either in itself or for the memories it evokes. Good times spent with good people.
I’ve had several conversations which have contributed to my understanding of happiness. Ryan highlighted the role stability plays in our lives and its relationship to happiness. That includes financial stability, though there are many different ways we can feel secure and stable. We touched on how happiness means different things to different people, and how its meaning can change as our life experience develops. That’s echoed in the contributions from Joanne and Christine who mention their families amongst the reasons for their happiness. Ryan also commented on the happiness (we might label it relief) we feel when something difficult or bad ends. This aligns with Paula’s gratitude and happiness at recovering from ill health.
Fran reminded me that the first article in the United States Declaration of Independence includes “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” amongst the “certain unalienable Rights” afforded to all. We discussed gratitude and optimism as potential routes to happiness, as well as things that make us unhappy. “We both get very irritated and ‘unhappy’ when things don’t go as planned,” Fran pointed out. “So maybe everything else counts as ‘happy’?” She also shared that “I’m generally happy because I am finally not doing things that make me unhappy!” That wisdom is echoed in Andy’s comment that he's been happy and content ever since he “learned not to look sideways and [to] run my own race.” Taking responsibility for our happiness is a valuable lesson.
Jen and I agreed that the ups and downs of life are what give it meaning. “Being happy all the time just doesn’t feel real,” she said. “Who can be happy 24/7? Life can come at you in so many different ways.” It’s clear from the comments that some people do feel happy and grounded most if not all of the time. This may reflect a difference in how people define happiness. Jen and I explored the difference between feeling happy “like when you are doing something you enjoy” and being happy. We also touched on the idea that chasing happy feelings can be a way for people to distract themselves from the harsher aspects of life. There’s nothing wrong with setting our burdens aside for a while and enjoying ourselves. It becomes unhealthy, however, if we use the pursuit of happiness as a means of ignoring what’s really going on for us.
Paul’s comment put an interesting twist on this interplay between the good stuff and the not so good stuff. At first reading I thought he’d accidentally written dissatisfied instead of satisfied, but then I understood what he meant. Feeling “dissatisfied enough to get on with something” is the kind of creative tension I recognise in my own life. My writing is often inspired by moments of frustration or stuckness. A sense that something needs to be expressed, explored, or worked through. That tension is the wellspring of creativity. For me as for Paul, happiness equates to “getting satisfaction out of life.”
Much of what Charlotte wrote resonated with me, including the uncertainty of impending retirement and how hard it can be to feel happy when others are struggling. Happiness can feel inappropriate when those we care about are living through difficult times. I think that’s something many of us have felt at one time or another. The connection between our happiness and how others are doing is expressed well by Lesley who noted that “Happiness can be that nothing bad is going on around you — family and friends are all well.”
I’m grateful to everyone who responded to my request for contributions and to those who’ve shared their thoughts and experience elsewhere in conversation. I couldn’t have written this blog post without you, nor the one to follow in which I take a deeper look at my personal relationship with happiness.
Until then, be happy, whatever that means to you.
Further Reading
The Society of Happy People (orginally The Secret Society of Happy People) was founded in 1998 by Pamela Gail Johnson “to provide a missing voice for those who are happy and want to express it without having other people rain on their parade.” According to the SOHP website, Happiness Happens Month “reminds us that happiness can be found in even little things that we might not notice and that spreading the same joy amongst others can help make the world a better place.”
Photo by Noah Negishi at Unsplash.
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