Gum on My Shoe

Why is it so hard for people to speak their truth? Child sexual abuse is an epidemic in our country and we need to stop it. Mental Illness is Taboo. We need to educate the public. Stand up for something, even if it means standing alone. I started my blog to find my voice. Speak up about what happened to me. My family didn't like it. Five sisters and their children have disowned me, all because I wanted to tell the truth. I don't think it is right that he got away with it. I believe telling my story is helping me go from the victim to the survivor. It took me forty four years and a diagnosis of Bipolar II, PTSD, GAD, and Agoraphobia to be able to find out who I truly was. I love the new me. I have found a very compassionate, loving person under all that façade. I am no longer afraid to love and be loved. I have learned that I can be me. I don't have to fit into someone else's "Box" of what they believe I should be. I am just me. I don't need anyone...

Be aware of the stories we tell ourselves, especially those that begin "I'm not the kind of person who ..." I'm not suggesting we ignore them all, some may still be valid. ("Marty, you're not the kind of person who attempts to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel." That one still works for me.) Most, though, are little more than strategies we've evolved to keep from expanding our horizons. "Marty, you're not the sort of person who would do a charity zip-wire challenge from the Tyne Bridge." "Marty, you're not the sort of person who strikes up conversations with strangers in coffee shops." "Marty, you're so not the sort of person who writes a book about supporting someone with mental illness." Well actually, it seems I am that sort of person, after all! Let's listen to the stories we tell ourselves, and maybe we can rewrite a few of them. Marty

i am amazed at how one can be born into chaos, suffer rape, survive cult, endure domestic violence, create a successful career and lose it to discrimination and harassment, then lose physical health, lose mental health, lose partner, lose family, lose home, lose work, lose dog, lose community.. and then, without any of those things being replaced, find the only thing that truly matters.. maybe it’s how a phoenix is born.. ~fjh

Hi everyone, another blog for you, following on from my first back in November. This time I'd like to discuss how our routines get affected by such illnesses, using my own experience, as well as some ways to help yourself. I used to be quite an active person. I was never the Master of Activity of course; indeed my Dad often tried to get me out of the house and do more exercise and not be indoors so much on my laptop, but heyho! But I was able to attend the gym three or four times a week, wing chun (martial arts, for those who don't know) twice a week, and take walks maybe a couple of times a day. That was before my chronic fatigue began. I'm a lot less active now. I can't manage the gym at the moment, haven’t been in eight or nine months. I did try once or twice but I only managed ten minutes or so each time and wound up in bed, exhausted, for days afterwards. The payoff just isn't worth it while I'm like this. My walking has also been greatly reduced, ...

I was chatting online last night with someone I’ve known for a few months. We’ve talked several times before and although we don’t know each other very well, I consider her a friend. Without going into details, she is going through a pretty rough time. I’d offered what I hoped was gentle support as well as suggesting a few options in response to what she was saying and things we’d talked about in the past. She quietly thanked me for my suggestions but mostly didn’t seem to pick up on them. I realised I was perhaps trying too hard, and messaged her privately. The following is excerpted from our conversation, with her permission. You get to tell me if I am being too pushy, suggesting things all the time. You won’t hurt my feelings if you tell me. You are the one living with all this, day after day. Sometimes you need to remember that things aren’t as straightforward as they should be. And that can be because I can’t do something ...

i'm doing really really well right now but it may not always be so.. i have bipolar.. it's not my fault.. it's not who I am.. i also have cfs and fibro.. will you still like me when i'm ill?.. will you ignore me?.. will you unfriend me?.. even block me?.. will you still love me when i'm not nice and sweet and how you'd like me to be?.. Fran  

How a Peaks Island woman struggling with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and depression created a book about the people of her island. A funny thing happened to me in December 2010. I wrote a piece called "Lessons of the Night" straight from my heart, even though I was sick. I sent it in to a tv station and they extended an invitation for an interview. This is what transpired.. Fran Video link : Fran's interview starts at 15:50.